Of Course Kim Kardashian Had A Miscarriage Scare

March 7th, 2013 // 62 Comments

Kim Kardashian‘s pregnancy was getting boring and needed more dramatic story lines, so why not fake a near-miscarriage because that’s not a real and very emotional experience for thousands of women everywhere? “In fact, maybe this will help people not make such a big deal out of baby they hoped and dream for dying inside of them,” Kris Jenner said to a magic mirror. Page Six reports:

“Kim started feeling ill on the plane from Paris, and called friends as soon as she landed,” an insider said. “She was rushed to her doctor Tuesday night in tears. She thought she was having a miscarriage.”
Luckily she and the baby were fine, and Kardashian was sent home at 12:30 a.m. after she was examined and given the all-clear. But doctors told her she’s working and exercising too hard, and gave her a stern warning to rest.
“Kim’s not respecting her pregnancy,” says a source. “She’s running around, working out seven days a week. She’s working with two different trainers to control her weight, including Tracy Anderson and a pregnancy trainer.”

And for those of you wondering, with good reason, why the hell I’m even posting this, this. It’s this part:

The source added that Kardashian — who’s been photographed obsessively working out while expecting — has been desperately trying to tame her figure amid public criticism that she’s ballooning.
“She’s scared that her ass is as big as a couch and is going south,” the source said. “But she is having a very rough pregnancy, and doctors have ordered her to slow down.”

Just so we’re all clear: Kim Kardashian almost killed her unborn baby because she only just these past few months realized her ass is gigantic. That’s how fucking vain she is. So when her daughter’s born with a flipper from diet pills and kale cleanses, at least Kim can go, “Yes, but look at me in these jeans!” before shooing her back into the crawlspace. Which I probably shouldn’t have said out loud because now January Jones just had “the most wonderful idea!”

Photo: Fame/Flynet

superficial

  1. JungleRed

    We should be so lucky.

  2. Randal

    It doesn’t matter what woman it happens to be, a miscarriage is frightening and very emotional for any who goes through one. Please take the doctor’s words to heart.

    All the best in health and happiness during your nine months, Kim.

    Randal

    • Randal(l)

      I hope when the baby shoots out of this smelly cunt’s twat all the pressure from her dirty ass blasts the kid across the room, banks off of Kanye’s face and its umbilical chord wraps around Kim’s throat like a volley ball killing all three of them.

      Randal(l)

  3. MrChips

    She wants a doctor’s note so she can get even fatter?

  4. Max Shreck

    “That’s how fucking vane she is”.

    I hate to be “that guy”, but it’s “vain”.

  5. What Fish didn’t tell us is that Kim’s “miscarriage scare” was immediately preceded by Kris kicking her in the stomach.

  6. Little Jimmy

    Didn’t they just have this story line last week on “Days of Our Lives”?

    Come on Kris, at least try and be a little original.

  7. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    MOO

  8. Imagine that shit coming out of the outflow pipe on the airplane shitter and going through your roof.

  9. Great. They are going to use this in divorce case. It must have been the stress of Kris Humphries not wanting to let go of their marriage, not the extensive traveling around the world and working out too much. If she is concerned about getting huge, why is she putting herself in the spotlight where she will be photographed as huge? Just step back and be more “private” like she said she is going to be. She planned a pregnancy to get a divorce quicker. Ugh. I’m ranting but I just can’t stand these people.

  10. All this “work” jet-setting and flying around the world to fashion shows and fancy dinners, really takes it’s toll on preggo famewhores. Her ass was a couch to begin with and no amount of 24hr fitness isn’t stopping the baby from coming and blowing her ass and body up even further. Her job is to be seen constantly, and if she didn’t want to be viewed as an OrcaDashian, then she shouldv’e said no to mom and not gotten inseminated with Fishsticks DNA.

  11. tom

    What a fucking attention whore, please die already for fuck sake! >:(

  12. Kel

    Oh, so she’s “exercising too hard.” Waddling your fat ass back and forth from the refrigerator to the sofa doesn’t count.

  13. Can we miscarry her?

  14. Zeppelin

    Women actually work out while pregnant? why? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Eat an entire chocolate cake, fuck it, lay on the couch all day, shoot the thing out in 9 months THEN loose the weight. Have we devolved to the point where as a species we can no longer tell the difference between being fat and being pregnant? “Holy shit what the hell happened to my stomach!, that’s it I’m hiring a trainer!”
    I can’t believe a “pregnancy trainer” is actually a profession, fucking stupid rich people.

  15. Nicole

    “She’s scared that her ass is as big as a couch”

    Um…isn’t that what happens when you get a lipo-fat transplant to your hind quarters?

    What a dumb bunny.

  16. anon

    This makes me so mad. I’ve never really thought much bad thoughts about Kim Kardashian before this, but to endanger your unborn child because you care so much about your vanity is just incredibly selfish. Anyways. I don’t care. I don’t care.

  17. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Toe Jam
    Commented on this photo:

    Moo?

  18. “She’s scared that her ass is as big as a couch and is going south”

    So on other words, same as it’s always been.

  19. She “called friends as soon as she landed”? Called FRIENDS? When she thought she was having a miscarriage? I’ve had a health scare or two in my day, and I know the first thing I do is call up a couple of buddies. “Dude … dude! Dude … will you fucking turn off ‘The Big Bang Theory’ for two minutes!? What? Okay, ‘Eight Simple Rules.’ I knew it was Kelly Cuoco, I could tell by your breathing. Um … are you wearing pants? Okay, good. Listen, do you have that Merck Manual I lent you after you slept with that Bulgarian prostitute? Do me a favor, could you look up ‘Puncture wound to femoral artery’?”

  20. Deacon Jones

    . “She’s running around, working out seven days a week. She’s working with two different trainers to control her weight, including Tracy Anderson and a pregnancy trainer.”

    I can’t tell you how much joy this gives me. I hope, deep down, that this website has had a little hand in showing her what a fat fucking soulless husk of a primate she is.

  21. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Yes, Ms. Kim, I am a phrenologist, and what the bumps on your head tell me about you . . . eeewww!”

  22. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    “My chest crack is the same length as my butt crack.”

  23. ill advised

    That face wouldn’t look so nice if she would ask Chris Brown for a $10 loan . He’d beat it like it owed him money , which it would

  24. ill advised

    baby probably realized who it’s parents were and decided to pre – empt it’s life. Imagine if the child knew it’s dad was kayne . You’d want to end it all before it got started too

    • against medical advice

      No, when it realized who it’s Grandparents were going to be , along with a giant televised family,it was just too much. Some things are worse than Hari -Kari in a festering womb

  25. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Juch
    Commented on this photo:

    What pregnant mother hasn’t dreamed of flying off to a party on the Ivory Coast with lots of booze and a strange albino woman? Its straight from Kim’s new book “What to Expect When You’re Drunk and Expecting”. Chapter One: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is the New Black (and you know I love them black!).

  26. Andy Warhol rolling over

    What the hell? Isn’t it 15:02 on this Ameriskank?

  27. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    against medical advice
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like a really fun party! I’d rather watch re- runs of Gilligans Island non – stop with no bathroom breaks for 12 hours

  28. Deacon Jones

    Maybe this baby will pull a Mordred and consume her alive upon birth.

    Anyone?

  29. o0

    That fat bitch is NOT excersiing. She may wear the clothes, and get photgraphed NEAR a gym, but her body tells the real story.

  30. Kim's Unborn Piglet

    Nana shoved a vacuum tube up Mommy’s cooter to get me out, then claim a miscarriage. My father lucifer didn’t place me here just to end up in a dumpster, and, once I am born, I will have my revenge on Mommy and Nana and then ENSLAVE HUMANITY!

  31. whatthe

    “has been desperately trying to tame her figure amid public criticism that she’s ballooning.”
    So it’s the public’s fault, not her own insecurity.

  32. she’s ballooning?
    more like shes oh the humanitying.

  33. Give her a break, it was probably terrifying to think she was going to lose the baby without having E! cameras rolling to sell the footage.

  34. HBergeron

    Awe heck. She probably just a big fart working its way out of that ginormous ass.

  35. poonanny

    does anyone actually believe that she is actually pregnant? It is a publicity scam, they will eventually come out and say she really did miscarry.

  36. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww… Kanye is putting on sympathy weight to make Kim feel better.

  37. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    Commented on this photo:

    So Pink was at this party, too?

  38. Wait, did I miss something? Kartrashian doesn’t actually have a real job, right? I mean, why the fuck is she traveling so much in the first place. Go exercise, OK, but then park your fucking pontoon ass in your plush-ass douchey mansion and relax. Stupid cow. Oh yeah, MOOOOO!

  39. Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Life Star Nightclub
    lalala
    Commented on this photo:

    we think you’re boring too.

  40. Inner Retard

    ‘ring-ring’
    - Mom, I think I’m having a miscarriage!… Hey waiter, I ordered this with two olives!
    - OK, let me call our publicist. We need to figure out wich one is better, keeping the baby or miscarriage.
    - What about a doctor?!
    - A doctor?!
    - Yeah, I thought my tits could use more tone in the cleavage.

  41. She is just pulling this crap so she can get proof that she was stressed out and signed by a doctor. Then she can bring that document to court to show the judge Kris is stressing her out and the judge grants the divorce early like she wants. All an act!!!!

  42. your mom

    Know how I know this didn’t happen?? NO PHOTOS. You know damn well that hospital, the airport, every intersection in between would have been swarming with paps who got the invite. Unless, of course, they’re saving that footage for the season premier.

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