Kim Kardashian & Lindsay Lohan Are Invited To The White House
In case there was any doubt Barack Obama is running a morally corrupt administration that actually recognizes homosexuals as human beings, forces the secret service to solicit prostitutes and basically runs America into a pit of moral decay where sluts have control of their slut bodies, Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan have been invited to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner thus tarnishing the hallowed halls of our nation’s capital. Who else besides a secret socialist Muslim would perform such a crass, insulting act to our great nation? Except, oh wait, it was Fox News who invited them. Via Gawker:
Kardashian was invited by the news network; Greta Van Susteren and her husband John Coale invited Lohan.
Kardashian is no stranger to the gala, having attended in 2010 with Van Susteren. Her plus-one for the evening will be momager Kris Jenner. Lohan’s publicist told WaPo’s The Reliable Source that his client will be bringing along her defense attorney Shawn Holley.
Keep in mind, this is the same Greta Van Susteren who threw a fit when Louis C.K. was going to host a correspondents’ dinner causing him to back out (h/t Meghan McCain), but bringing a constantly enabled junkie and the giant assed epitome of everything that’s wrong with America is just peachy? It would’ve been less offensive if she brought an actual terrorist.
GUEST: So what do you do?
TERRORIST: Oh, you know, I wake up each day and use terror to fight a Holy War against anyone who’s not a pure member of my religion. It requires a lot of training and careful planning and so forth, but it’s a living.
GUEST: Wonderful, wonderful. You’d love our Christians here. And what about you, dear?
KIM: Cameras follow every detail of my carefully scripted, materialistic and shallow life because my own mother helped me leak video footage of an R&B singer fucking me.
GUEST: Jesus. Security! Get the one with the mustache out of here.
SECURITY: They both have mustaches.
GUEST: The one with the ass!
KRIS: Kim, the Constitution’s in my purse! Cheese it! *throws knockout gas*