Kim Kardashian & Lindsay Lohan Are Invited To The White House

April 27th, 2012 // 125 Comments
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In case there was any doubt Barack Obama is running a morally corrupt administration that actually recognizes homosexuals as human beings, forces the secret service to solicit prostitutes and basically runs America into a pit of moral decay where sluts have control of their slut bodies, Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan have been invited to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner thus tarnishing the hallowed halls of our nation’s capital. Who else besides a secret socialist Muslim would perform such a crass, insulting act to our great nation? Except, oh wait, it was Fox News who invited them. Via Gawker:

Kardashian was invited by the news network; Greta Van Susteren and her husband John Coale invited Lohan.
Kardashian is no stranger to the gala, having attended in 2010 with Van Susteren. Her plus-one for the evening will be momager Kris Jenner. Lohan’s publicist told WaPo’s The Reliable Source that his client will be bringing along her defense attorney Shawn Holley.

Keep in mind, this is the same Greta Van Susteren who threw a fit when Louis C.K. was going to host a correspondents’ dinner causing him to back out (h/t Meghan McCain), but bringing a constantly enabled junkie and the giant assed epitome of everything that’s wrong with America is just peachy? It would’ve been less offensive if she brought an actual terrorist.

GUEST: So what do you do?
TERRORIST: Oh, you know, I wake up each day and use terror to fight a Holy War against anyone who’s not a pure member of my religion. It requires a lot of training and careful planning and so forth, but it’s a living.
GUEST: Wonderful, wonderful. You’d love our Christians here. And what about you, dear?
KIM: Cameras follow every detail of my carefully scripted, materialistic and shallow life because my own mother helped me leak video footage of an R&B singer fucking me.
GUEST: Jesus. Security! Get the one with the mustache out of here.
SECURITY: They both have mustaches.
GUEST: The one with the ass!
KRIS: Kim, the Constitution’s in my purse! Cheese it! *throws knockout gas*

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN


  1. EricLr

    Sadly, his campaign team is so incompetent that likely they likely think this is a good way to pander to the youth vote. Doesn’t exactly bode well for them in the fall.

  2. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Searching for some tin cans to feed dat ass

  3. Dufresne


  4. Cock Dr


  5. Fresh Tuna

    Must be a typo. Are you sure the invite is not for the White Horse Brothel Correspondents’ Dinner?

    • Kirk

      Hey there, Cretin………..what do horses have to do with anything. A white horse brothel…geez, get some education.

  6. direchef

    If I could fling disgust from my penis, I would do so. Oh wait; I can.

  7. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Is she seriously posing to ACCENTUATE that giant ham she calls an ass? She could feed the children of Africa with that thing.

  8. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    OHMYGOD. It’s the ass that ate manhattan!! Screw Godzilla, we have a new enemy to be fearful of!

  9. Strike 1: taking a Kardashian cattle car to the White House
    Strike 2: saying anything bad about Louis C.K.
    Strike 3: taking a drug-sniffing Lohan to the White House


  10. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Call me sick and twisted, butt I would still like to get up on the big ole ass.

  11. I wonder who Anderson Cooper invites every year? My guess is Lance Bass.

  12. Area Man

    The White House didn’t invite them. Fox did.

    They’ll need to bring in special metal detectors they use for examining wide loads like those shipping containers on cargo ships.

  13. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ve never wanted to hate fuck someone as much as her. Right now.

    • Skinny Donut

      I know how you feel. Except for her ass I think she’s beautiful. But I can’t stand her.

      • Grammar Police

        Beautiful ?? After how many surgeries and how much make-up ?? Gah. And ick, ugh … and MOO (thank you, Cock Dr.)

      • Skinny Donut

        If that’s your approach you might as well stop looking at celebs since most had some surgery done and all wear tons of make-up.

    • Mike Walker

      I’d like to have her cut in half and have the top mounted for face and titty fucking.

      I could feed Khloe with the bottom half.

  14. Skinny Donut

    I know Kim is invited but did they invite to her ass too? I heard the State of California declared it a separate legal entity.

  15. They weren’t invited to the White House. The dinner is being held at the St. Regis Hotel.

  16. Kodos

    you know Fish; your leftist hate is really starting to bore us…

    stick to bikini and ass shots

  17. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Bikini Pirate
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when we thought JLo had a big ass?

  18. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez, it honestly looks as if she is carrying around a full diaper.

  19. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    she still does, except hers is real

  20. Vandinz


  21. west

    Greta was one of the reasons Oj was acquitted. Every time you turned around she was stirring up the pot about some nonsense about reasonable doubt when there was none. The Oj murders made her. She knows she is tainted by her role in that injustice and has “befriended” the Kardashian whores, because like her, they achieved their celebrity status as a result of the murders and not in a passive way,but rather in a sinister dark way by aiding evil.Kardashian hid blood evidence. Greta helped Oj escape justice to advance her career. Greta is a vile cunt.It helps her feel less dirty by glomming on to this kwhore slut who was even more desperate and dark sided than her to achieve fame.

  22. Vandinz

    I wonder when she takes her kecks off if it’s like the plant from Little Shop of Horrors. FEED ME!

  23. Obama’s got to have somebody to sell his drugs to. Guaranteed customers.

  24. Bonky

    Kim: Mom, do these pants make my ass look big ?

    Mamma Kris: Yes, they make your ass look enormous !

    Kim: Great. Thanks mom, see you later !

  25. Kin: “That’s nice, but what about the Black House?”

  26. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim and Lindsay at the White House, OMG what could possiably go wrong (LOL).

  27. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass looks like one of those hidden picture optical illusions in those pants. I think I see a sailboat (full scale).

  28. CK

    Lindsay will most likely be a no-show, as is her MO, but that’s ok, Kim’s ass will fill both seats.

  29. The Correspondent’s Dinner is NOT, repeat NOT, held at the White House. It takes place at the D.C. Hilton.

  30. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    AAPL made me rich!
    Commented on this photo:


  31. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    how many black dicks she sucked

  32. Frank Burns

    The whole event is a fucking C-list palooza, sprinkled with a few A-listers:

    It reads like a bunch of giddy middle-school girls inviting the cute senior boys and popular girls to a fancy party at their dad’s country club.

  33. PU

    Armo pussy smells like a camel’s asshole.

  34. name

    Life is a big party in the Obama administration.

    Fuc*ing with USA reputation since Jan 20, 2009!

    • No, incoherent nimrods like you who can’t read with comprehension are what’s “fucking with USA reputation”.

      P.S. Any political commentary you make is automatically null and void if you’re such a pussy that you can’t type “fuck” without the *.

  35. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    best body in hollywood. she is walking sex

  36. [sorry Richard]


    I am 31 years old, but act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My dream was always to become a princess. Instead I became an anal porn star, but I still think I am a princess. My body is full of plastic surgery. My boobs, azz, lips, teeth, cheeks, nose, hair, facelift etc., were are all bought from a plastic surgeon. I use to idolized Paris Hilton and I would hang on her like a koala bear all the time just to get my picture taken by the paparazzi. I was very jealous of Paris, so I put out a SEX TAPE just because she did. Until 2007 I use to do cocaine with her. I know there are pictures as proof, but I will deny it forever.

    My pimp mother, Kris Jenner (who in some ways is a bigger whore than me), fcuked the pool boy while my father, Robert Kardashian, was at work. Dad was an ambulance chaser, and helped keep OJ Simpson out of jail after he killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife Nicole by hiding much of the blood evidence from the police. Anyway, the result was my pathetic half gorilla sister Khloe, who is a whore just like me. Whenever my mouth is moving I am lying, as I am INCAPABLE of telling the truth about anything. I pretend that if I lie about things people will eventually believe it. The way I walk, talk, and laugh is fake; and if you look into my eyes you can even see that my soul is fake. I have no personality at all!

    Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Steve Hirsch at Vivid Entertainment. They paid me $5 million to expose my nasty self. RayJ had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I tricked him into making a porno with me for distribution. My former publicist, Jonathan Jaxson, knows exactly what happened. I screwed him over and refused to pay him after our contract was up. Money and fame is all I live for. I am just waiting for him (and many, many more) to come out and reveal how I really am. I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack elegance, class, dignity, self-respect, intelligence, and morals. I really am a very dirty woman, both inside and out.

    My ex husband Damon Thomas, whom I married at the age of 19 in Las Vegas, publicly called me: untalented, a trashy whore, desperate, a plastic surgery addict, a backstabber, and a cheater. I have no real friends because I have misused and stepped on everybody that has come my way for fame. If you see me in public it’s either because someone is paying me to be there, or I know the paps will be there to take my picture. I am currently using social medias to snake my way in to other celebrity’s lives for friendship and publicity. I show up like a diva to all kind of award shows that I have NO business at all attending. The only award show I should attend is the AVN. I call the paparazzi myself. I learned that trick from Paris Hilton, but unlike Paris I’m too cheap to buy them lunch like she does.

    I have NO talent what so ever. I was thrown off Dancing with the Stars on the second week. I made a work out video that clearly shows I’m in very bad shape. I did a test shoot for Playboy, but after seeing the proofs they refuse to acknowledge me. I got a Razzie for my sad performance in the parody Disaster Movie. I should have gotten one for my sextape as well. My song JAM, I have no words for. It is the most annoying and pitiful song in history. I sing like a tone deaf four year old with a nasal monotone voice; very unfortunate. Recently I made a video to go with the song. In it I shove my HUGE azz into the camera like a baboon in heat waiting to get mounted.

    Anybody who don’t like me for the rotten and lying whore that I am I call haters or jealous. We, the Kardashian’s, call each other dolls. And I alone have tainted the Pussycat Dolls by heisting their concept. I pretend that I care about others, but I could not care less. If I’m at a charity event you can bet I’m either getting paid to be there, or I’m there because I called the paps and want to get my picture taken. If you read the fine print you’ll see I keep 90% of the proceeds from my charity auction. The only person I really care about is myself. I tried to fcuk over children by selling them an insane debit Master Card with predatory fees. Unfortunately it was taken off the market after one week under the threat of legal action in several States. Thankfully I found a new way to rip off the kids, with glam silly bandz. Over weight children should skip normal diet & exercise and do shady diet pills or lipo-suction like me.

    I stole $120k from Sonja Norwood’s (Ray J and Brandy’s mother) credit card. After being busted I paid her back with the money I got from the sex tape I made with her son. That’s the circle life Mrs. Norwood. The clothes at Dash are pure knock offs from top brands and designers. Neither my sisters nor I know how to sew on a button or sketch anything, but we call ourselves fashion designers. Much of our clothing line is made by underage Chinese children. I pay them a dollar a day to work an 18-hour shift in one of my sweatshops. The logo on my perfumes is a complete rip-off from Korcula creator Lindley Bertin.

    For World AIDS Day I went off social medias until my fans had raised $1M. I was confident that within 12 hours I would be back. Seven days later I had to be bailed out by a billionaire who wanted to spare me any further shame. This is how much my «fans» value and missed me.

    I have never been single because I am too scared to spend time with myself. I am looking very much forward to the day my grand children sit on my lap and ask me if I am an anal porn star because that’s what everybody in kindergarten will say. I also love to flaunt my gigantic fake hippo azz. It’s my calling card for any rich Black man that wants to ram my azz hard and move on! Evan Ross, Marquis Houston, Scott Storch, Fabolous, The Game, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Tyson Beckford, William ‘Ray J’ Norwood, Reggie Bush, Christiano, Chengo (The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies ever) Miles Austin, Bow Wow, Gabriel Aubry (only because everybody said I was only into black guys) Kanye West, and my husband of 72 days Kris Humpries; are just a FEW of the men that have ALL fcuked me, pissed in my mouth, AND dumped me. They know that I am trash, and that I will bring their reputations down into the gutter with mine. I will fcuk anyone for publicity. I have had many STDs, but the only one I have now is herpes (got that from Paris too). I am pathetic, plastic, and terribly insecure.

    I am a national and international joke, and gave out my own ANAL/PISS SEX TAPE to get famous. I am a human toilet. I am clearly a very sick human being and I’m 100% shameless. I am the filthiest famewhore in the whole wide world!

    I am Kim Kardashian…

  37. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow it looks like she stuffs that back end wow!

  38. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what I love about living in New York City. Even the street signs know the score, and they aren’t shy about telling the world.

  39. Oogidyboogidy

    Didn’t Obama mention “Snooki” (I feel fucking dirty just typing that) in one of his speeches? But he’s hip, down wit’ the hip and happenin yoot.

    • Yes…he mentioned Snooki in the president’s traditional stand-up routine at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner a couple years ago. Not really “one of his speeches.”

      Oh, and then a couple of months later, he confessed that he didn’t know who Snooki was, and everyone on the right jumped up and down at the hypocrisy, because presidents are supposed to know all the pop-cultural references their joke writers put into their Correspondents’ Dinner routines.

  40. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    I think instead of the headline “Kim stuffed herself into tiger pants” it should be she stuffed a tiger into her pants.

  41. This might be the best post I’ve read on the internet all week. I

  42. movingoutofthiscounty

    Fox News, Kim Kardashian…Lindsay Lohan? Humanity is just f*cking failing miserably. MISERABLY.

  43. Kim Kardashian Ass Butt Tight Pants
    Commented on this photo:

    This is what real women–incredibly sexy ones–look like, morons.

  44. Lowell Freeman

    I took one look at that , and I thought up a new product , the “asssickle”. It is a Brown , ass shaped popsickle that tastes like pee

  45. Larry Mondello

    Did you want some girl with your ass?

  46. Tyrone Davis

    I can’t get past that huge ass

  47. Trent Wesley -Tarelot

    Pleasant looking pee- mop

  48. Travis Bickel

    Are the streaks in her hair “piss streaks”?

  49. Al Czervik

    KW gets to pee on that twice nightly

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