Kris Humphries Wants An Annulment So Prenup Will Be Dismissed

December 2nd, 2011 // 73 Comments

“Our entire marriage was a fraud right down to this prosthetic penis she made me carry all the time. Oh, God, I can still smell the foam rubber…”

I want to say I’ve been holding off on covering Kris Humphries seeking an annulment of his marriage to Kim Kardashian because I wanted to see what the endgame is, but honestly, I’m just as fucking sick of these people as you are. That said, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make the donuts, and at least these donuts are filled with a delicious, prenup-invalidating jelly that will allow Kris Humphries to shat all over the Kardashians in the press. RadarOnline reports:

The NBA star formally filed a response Thursday in the divorce proceedings that Kardashian initiated after only 72 days of marriage. Humphries wants the marriage annulled on the grounds of “fraud.”
It’s a brilliant strategic move because by seeking to have the marriage annulled, Humphries can request that the prenup be tossed, primarily so he won’t be muzzled by the confidentiality agreement.
“The confidentiality aspect of the prenup is extensive and was created just in case things went bad, neither Kim nor Kris could discuss their relationship to the media. But now, Kris wants to be able to talk about the relationship without fear of being sued,” a source close to the situation tells

Of course, this could’ve been avoided had Kim and her mom not immediately launched a smear campaign re-editing the new season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York to make Kris look like a farting jackass along with planting gay rumors in the tabloids, but that would require them to be rational, non-whore-vacuums who actually think they could somehow make Kim look good after she essentially ran out the door of the church with a bag full of cash going, “Moneymoneymoney!” I might as well have said they could’ve avoided this by transforming into cars and trucks so humans will never know of their secret robot war against the Decepticons.

Photos: Splash News


  1. thespiral

    Yes, you’re right, I am fucking sick of these people. And posting more about the fake controversy over the fake end of their fake marriage just supports their egregious trollery and fakery and makes them richer. So please stop.

    • ludichrisspeed

      Hi, welcome to The Superficial. First time?

    • Seriously, I’ve had enough of the “if you critical bloggers would stop, then they would go away” comments. Because if anti-Kardashian sites like The Superficial “just stop,” that will leave only the sycophantic pro-Kardashian coverage. And *they’re* not going to stop, they won’t even hear you.

    • Michael

      Well, so far, the Kunts went into hiding, we haven’t heard news stories day in and day out over them. Your wish is coming, thespiral. One day at a time.

  2. Rosalie

    “…she essentially ran out the door of the church with a bag full of cash going, “Moneymoneymoney!””

    My first laugh-out-loud of the day. Thank you.

  3. Cock Dr

    One can only hope that this “marriage” money grab ploy will be the ultimate downfall of this wretched klan.
    Run your mouth Kris. Tell us EVERYTHING.

  4. Another morning, another post about the dead-eyed whore and her latest Neanderthal.

    • occam's boner

      Fuckin’ A! The pics must come cheap.

      • The Critical Crassness

        BUZZMEDIA Publishers: AbsolutePunk I I Buzznet I Celebslam I Celebuzz I ConcreteLoop I I GoFugYourself I Idolator I JustJared I JustJaredJr. I KimKardashian I KhloeKardashian I KourtneyKardashian I NicoleRichie I KendraWilkinson I PacificCoastNewsOnline I SocialiteLife I SoundsOfBuzz I Stereogum I TheSuperficial I WWTDD I WhitneyPort I Videogum I More… Need there be anything more said as to why there is a new post on the Kardashians every morning?
        While “Fish” complains about being fed up with the cash-whores of the Klan Kardashian….the management at Buzzmedia feeds from the Kardashian Kash Kow….
        Now be ready for Fish’s slam of me posting this, like he always does when someone suggests that he is being paid to post Kardashian Krap..

  5. marla

    I hope he gets his annulment. These gals ( I am not about to call them ladies, as a lady has class) deserve a little payback.

  6. JC

    If Kim were a Decepticon, she’d transform into a dump truck.

    Khloe, of course, would transform into an aircraft carrier.

  7. puddleduck

    Let me get this straight. This bitch has a sex tape, has xrays of her ass on tv, and now is worried about a confidentiality agreement? Fuck her and her disgusting famewhoring family. I feel like I’m in the middle of the fall of the Roman empire. I can’t believe Americans fall for this shit and give this family the time of day….much less their hard earned money.

    • And here I thought I was the only one seeing the parallels between the Western world and the fall of Rome. Thank you!

    • DUH

      Yeah, cuz no one ever compares the rampant cultural decay in America to Rome’s final days…nahhhh never heard that one…

      • Rousseau

        @duh you need to be educated, don’t worry though, we don’t expect much better from you Americans

    • gumption

      sextape made her famous, ass x-ray was to divert from all her plastic surgery including brazillian butt lift and shaping, my point, intentional to keep her fat ass afloat. What she doesnt want to come out is that her hair is fake, tits fake, tons of facial procedures and the things that go on in that house of horrors these people reside in. He is definitely the type of person that wants to have his say, he wont be the most elegant and they will blitz him but he will say he felt set-up, that is wasnt about him and her but about getting someone, anyone to stand in as groom, how hurt he was to find out about the divorce the way he did and how he really loved her and last but not least, how he knows he will find love but he will be more careful next time. Basically, boring shit. He is too dumb to kick them where it hurts. If he gets the annulment it will be the beginning of the end for kk (not because kris will say juicy shit, but it is prophecy), if he doesnt get it, she will march on. We have a 50/50 chance people. Now is the time to pray to baby jesus and the mother virgin or whatever.

    • Michael

      Patience, puddleduck, the Kunts’ doomsday is at hand.

    • Robert

      That is my f#$%@ point!!!!! How in the hell did you guys allow the media to bring this whores into the homes of the American Families. People without f%$^ morals or regards for anyone. The dirtiest and darkest things in the streets is what they represent. And I say why did you guys, because I never took the time to watch a single one of their shows because from the very beginning I have been disgusted!!!! I like your comment puddleduck

  8. Debbie

    If the marriage is annuled it means the marriage never existed therefore the pre-nup never existed!

  9. Your post is sheer brilliance! & you have pegged that Kardashian troll as she really is – a money hungry dumbass.

    Here’s hoping that Kris gets his annulment & gets to dish it out in its entirety. Bet she will double back & pay out then.

    Native NYker

  10. Richard McBeef

    Come on fish, you are sick of these people? That’s like a hooker sick of Johns.

  11. Snack pack

    Team Humphries!

  12. Jay

    Fish, as always excellent reporting. Leave tomorrow for the mountainous sandbox again, you all be good and enjoy the holidays.
    P.S. Kourtney would transform into that little annoying robot that M. Fox held in her purse………

  13. adm.fookbar

    america gets the culture it deserves.

  14. forrest gump

    please buy this boy some latest computer games.

  15. timmy the dying boy

    That was the problem with the marriage. That thing of his still wasn’t big enough.

  16. Crankybitch

    Who cares? The Kardouchians are laughing all the way to the bank.

  17. Donald Trump

    I still would bend over for him any night of the week. Fug face, but hot body!

    • Jillia

      Wow you’re right. I’ve been so distracted by his face this whole time, I never noticed the goods underneath!

      Looks like we got ourselves a paper bagger!

  18. derp

    Marriage annulment is ridiculous. If the marriage never happened, what the fuck is the bullshit we’ve been watching for the last several months on every magazine and tabloid channel that the ‘Douchians can get their paws on?

  19. The giant vibrator seemed like a good idea until they discovered it would take 5,308 AAA batteries.

  20. duder

    Autobots. The bad guys fight the Autobots.

  21. Tristyn

    Somebody anybody? Sit in the watchtower and pick them off..

  22. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally pictured: big black microphone!

  23. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    The scary thing is even at that size, Kim can still take it all in.

  24. So, is the husband in on this or is he just a patsy?

  25. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s impossible to not make the obvious joked here.

  26. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim asked Kris to return the toy for one that urinates.

  27. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Nah, this is just the prototype. The production version will squirt up to 3 gallons of hot piss. Boom.”

  28. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Bond Seven
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Good dress code with sex apple & buttock & tight ass

  29. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Bond Seven
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Starring at what leaving your Kris ! Found some thing more interesting ?

  30. Robert

    I guess I have to give it to the guy. When one is young, one makes mistake. He is only 26!!!! he is a baby inside a huge body. I wonder if the poor thing really thought he was winning the lottery with Kim Kardashian. It takes maturity to understand that a woman with the track record of her and her family is nothing but bad news. I understand too that up to a point parents must respect the children’s decisions, but I wonder if his parents ever advised him of what the consequences would be marrying someone like her. Someone who even though she is on the news today, she is well known for nothing but being a money-attention hungry ho! I feel sorry for the guy because I know how hurtful an eye opening like this can be. Keep it up Kris, and go with all your mighty against those people and save America from the moral destruction the Kardashians represent.

  31. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    phew, thank god. i thought i would have to suck a white dick

  32. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    This poor schlub! Mr. Humphries could be the biggset jerk on the planet and I would STILL feel sorry for him for marrying into the Kardashian cult. I do, however, wonder how a guy would be shocked to learn that sweet, innocent Kim who may be the first woman on the planet to PROMOTE her own embarrassing sex tape has been married before. Normally I would mock someone who has acted so foolishly, but I suspect that once in the clutches of the Kardashoraptors there was non escape.

  33. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah those Krafty Kardashians. This is what happens when you go up against them, you get herpes all over your public image lol.

  34. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Haha thats because Kim is the one who gave it to him…god knows shes picked something up from banging half of the country

  35. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Are cows vunerable to human STDs?

  36. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    I think the obvious implication is Kim is so riddled with diseases that herpes doesn’t even make her top 10 things to worry about.

  37. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim doesn’t need to sue, where do you think he got?

  38. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Butt plug, from the Pleasure Chest in LA

  39. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    “Oh, oh, shit, I’m almost not in this picture”
    **ducks head

  40. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    She fucking loves the fucking camera so fucking much. it’s fucking mind blowing

  41. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    she’s completely vapid. she is souless. she is like a ginger that has been dyed. she is a mirror. she is the tear of a unicorn. she is large, and sad, like a kitchen sponge. she doesn’t even have blood. she is a demon

  42. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    She is not a demon. She is an udder.

  43. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    She has that scary smirk on her face. Gets me every time. I shit my pants. Every time. Why does she have to be so scary?

  44. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a fat ribbon pretending to be happy.

  45. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    Even Kris knew how their story was gonna end…

  46. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture was prophetic. She got the gold mine, he got the shaft.

  47. Kim Kardashian Kris Humphries Pool Toy
    Commented on this photo:

    oh, you’re just jealous

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