Kim Kardashian & Kanye West Have Sex 500 Times A Day

The entire point of marriage is to celebrate the last time the woman you’ve chosen to spend the rest of your life with has to pretend she likes sex. Why else would everyone spend an entire day looking at you in a tux, you poor, poor bastard? (Choke yourself with the bowtie. Quickly! Before it’s too late!) So to hear someone like Kim Kardashian say she has sex with Kanye West 500 times a day in the new promo for Keeping Up With The Kardashians is immediately suspect. Then again, the only reason he even keeps her around is to recreate her sex tape, so I’m going to go ahead and call those numbers accurate if not rounded down because what else is he going to do with her? Have an adult conversation? Bahahaha! More importantly, Draco Malfoy posted this on Instagram which is really the entire point of this post. I just wrote all that other stuff to make me look busy. (Nailed it.)

Photos: Splash News