Kanye West Just Proposed To Kim Kardashian, And It’s Already An E! Special

October 22nd, 2013 // 50 Comments
Previously In Whoring
Kim Kardashian Butt Instagram Swimsuit Post-Pregnancy
We Get It, Kim, Your Ass Is Huge Read More »

I’ve been under the weather the past few days, and now I know it was my body’s way of preparing me for the shitstorm of all shitstorms because Kanye West just proposed to Kim Kardashian which proves Kris Jenner is a powerful necromancer who promised to revive his dead mother. There’s no other explanation here except he’s an idiot. Which actually sounds plausible, too, so forget that zombie stuff. Save it for the second kid. E! News reports:

The E! star is engaged to longtime love Kanye West, the rapper popping the question in front of their friends and family at AT&T Park in San Francisco.
Kanye, whose Yeezus Tour touches down in nearby San Jose tomorrow night, rented out the stadium for the occasion. (For all the details on Kim & Kanye’s surprise engagement, tune into E! News Tuesday at 7 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.)
And here we thought Kim’s 33rd birthday bash at Tao this Friday was going to be the major event of the week.

I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually think this will be Kim Kardashian’s most authentic marriage yet. Think about it: They don’t want to break up because they have a kid together, he hates being around her, and her family is constantly causing some fucking shit he has to hear about. That’s marriage, folks. All they’re doing now is trying to score a diamond toaster, so maybe, maybe, at one point in the milieu they’ll look at it and go, “You know what? I’m happy with my sparkly toast.” But they’re not, they’re not…


“A Jumbotron for dat jumbo ass. Marry me, girl?” – How I would’ve worked that shit.

Kanye Proposal Jumbotron


Photos: FameFlynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News


  1. Jay

    If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, again………

  2. The Brown Streak

    Kanye was heard saying “This time it’s going to be different. It’s not like I’m Kris Humphries. I actually love her. Wait…yo, E! is this line right?”

  3. Convex

    I applauded when you banned Speidi from this site. How ’bout you give us all an even bigger thrill by never posting about the human toilet and mighty midget never ever again?

    • Fresco

      Unfortunately, this is not going to happen, we read and comment the hell out of KK posts, Fish explained it already. Here’s another idea: post stories but no photos. This way, we won’t have to look at her but we can still be entertained. And who knows, maybe the challenge of writing a photo-less post will bring Fish a Pulitzer.

      • Convex

        But we read the hell out of and commented on all things Speidi, too, and Fish imposed a ban on that two-headed hydra. I’m seeing a contradiction or a double standard here. Both couples are equally disgusting and fame-whorish. Both couples are comprised of tacky idiots. So Fish, please?

      • If you’ll recall, that ban never stuck because pageviews. Daddy needs pageviews.

    • Speidi are relatively benign compared to these two shitheads.

  4. Bane

    You know the Mom is already working on the pre-nup.

  5. JC

    At least she can just re-post her gift registry to try to fill in any missing items from the last round of suckers.

  6. Isn’t it fitting that there are a bunch of billboards around his proposal?

    • Smapdi

      No doubt they picked up an advertising fee for having them in the shot. We can’t expect him or the Kardashians to pay for this themselves, after all.

  7. What’s the over/under for the number of days before the official suing for divorce motion is filed? 72 days is the benchmark. I’ll say 112 and it will be Kanye who files.

  8. Longtime love Kanye West?

    Is the the part where we’re supposed to forget they started “dating” almost exactly a year ago and Kim conveniently got immediately pregnant?

    Or are they saying 1 year is a long term relationship for Kim…I guess that makes sense now.

    • Why am I not surprised Kanye used ALL CAPS on the jumbotron?

    • I saw that, and after laughing my ass off, found out they’re trying to spin it that they met about 6 years ago and had a thing for each other but just never somehow acted on it. A member of the most self indulgent clan of assholes we’ve ever seen showing any kind of impulse restraint? Oh yeah, totes believable.

  9. AT&T Park? So the Cow Palace wasn’t available?

    • another mike


      I was going with the Giant’s route, but Cow is way more appropriate. I applaud you sir.

  10. My God this dude is such an utter moron. They are going to carve him up and then carve up his fortune and split it among themselves.

  11. Dox

    So, an arrogant, condescending jackass with a god complex is marrying an egomaniacal jerk with a complete lack of morals.

    This should be amusing.

  12. Apparently Admiral Akbar’s warning could not be heard above the sound of Rob Kardashian eating an entire concession stand himself.

  13. Jack Ketch

    BARF, just barf. That is all.

  14. Kate

    These two assholes deserve each other.

  15. me

    I am 32 years old, but act like a vain and self-obsessed 13-year old. My dream was always to become a princess. Instead I became an anal porn star, but I still think I am a princess. My body is full of plastic surgery. My boobs, azz, lips, teeth, cheeks, nose, hair, facelift etc., were are all bought from a plastic surgeon. I use to idolized Paris Hilton and I would hang on her like a koala bear all the time just to get my picture taken by the paparazzi. I was very jealous of Paris, so I put out a SEX TAPE just because she did. Until 2007 I use to do cocaine with her. I know there are pictures as proof, but I will deny it forever.
    My pimp mother, Kris Jenner (who in some ways is a bigger whore than me), fcuked the pool boy while my father, Robert Kardashian, was at work. Dad was an ambulance chaser, and helped keep OJ Simpson out of jail after he killed Ron Goldman and his ex-wife Nicole by hiding much of the blood evidence from the police. Anyway, the result was my pathetic half gorilla sister Khloe, who is a whore just like me. Whenever my mouth is moving I am lying, as I am INCAPABLE of telling the truth about anything. I pretend that if I lie about things people will eventually believe it. The way I walk, talk, and laugh is fake; and if you look into my eyes you can even see that my soul is fake. I have no personality at all!
    Although I pretended to be upset by the sex tape, I was the one that sent it to Steve Hirsch at Vivid Entertainment. They paid me $5 million to expose my nasty self. RayJ had nothing to do with the leaked sex tape. I tricked him into making a porno with me for distribution. My former publicist, Jonathan Jaxson, knows exactly what happened. I screwed him over and refused to pay him after our contract was up. Money and fame is all I live for. I am just waiting for him (and many, many more) to come out and reveal how I really am. I exploit my FAKE body all of the time because I lack elegance, class, dignity, self-respect, intelligence, and morals. I really am a very dirty woman, both inside and out.
    My ex husband Damon Thomas, whom I married at the age of 19 in Las Vegas, publicly called me: untalented, a trashy whore, desperate, a plastic surgery addict, a backstabber, and a cheater. I have no real friends because I have misused and stepped on everybody that has come my way for fame. If you see me in public it’s either because someone is paying me to be there, or I know the paps will be there to take my picture. I am currently using social medias to snake my way in to other celebrity’s lives for friendship and publicity. I show up like a diva to all kind of award shows that I have NO business at all attending. The only award show I should attend is the AVN. I call the paparazzi myself. I learned that trick from Paris Hilton, but unlike Paris I’m too cheap to buy them lunch like she does.
    I have NO talent what so ever. I was thrown off Dancing with the Stars on the second week. I made a work out video that clearly shows I’m in very bad shape. I did a test shoot for Playboy, but after seeing the proofs they refuse to acknowledge me. I got a Razzie for my sad performance in the parody Disaster Movie. I should have gotten one for my sextape as well. My song JAM, I have no words for. It is the most annoying and pitiful song in history. I sing like a tone deaf four year old with a nasal monotone voice; very unfortunate. Recently I made a video to go with the song. In it I shove my HUGE azz into the camera like a baboon in heat waiting to get mounted.
    Anybody who don’t like me for the rotten and lying whore that I am I call haters or jealous. We, the Kardashian’s, call each other dolls. And I alone have tainted the Pussycat Dolls by heisting their concept. I pretend that I care about others, but I could not care less. If I’m at a charity event you can bet I’m either getting paid to be there, or I’m there because I called the paps and want to get my picture taken. If you read the fine print you’ll see I keep 90% of the proceeds from my charity auction. The only person I really care about is myself. I tried to fcuk over children by selling them an insane debit Master Card with predatory fees. Unfortunately it was taken off the market after one week under the threat of legal action in several States. Thankfully I found a new way to rip off the kids, with glam silly bandz. Over weight children should skip normal diet & exercise and do shady diet pills or lipo-suction like me.
    I stole $120k from Sonja Norwood’s (Ray J and Brandy’s mother) credit card. After being busted I paid her back with the money I got from the sex tape I made with her son. That’s the circle life Mrs. Norwood. The clothes at Dash are pure knock offs from top brands and designers. Neither my sisters nor I know how to sew on a button or sketch anything, but we call ourselves fashion designers. Much of our clothing line is made by underage Chinese children. I pay them a dollar a day to work an 18-hour shift in one of my sweatshops. The logo on my perfumes is a complete rip-off from Korcula creator Lindley Bertin.
    For World AIDS Day I went off social medias until my fans had raised $1M. I was confident that within 12 hours I would be back. Seven days later I had to be bailed out by a billionaire who wanted to spare me any further shame. This is how much my «fans» value and missed me.
    I have never been single because I am too scared to spend time with myself. I am looking very much forward to the day my grand children sit on my lap and ask me if I am an anal porn star because that’s what everybody in kindergarten will say. I also love to flaunt my gigantic fake hippo azz. It’s my calling card for any rich Black man that wants to ram my azz hard and move on! Evan Ross, Marquis Houston, Scott Storch, Fabolous, The Game, Nick Cannon, Nick Lachey, Tyson Beckford, William ‘Ray J’ Norwood, Reggie Bush, Christiano, Chengo (The Bodyguard is one of my favorite movies ever) Miles Austin, Bow Wow, Gabriel Aubry (only because everybody said I was only into black guys) Kanye West, and my husband of 72 days Kris Humpries; are just a FEW of the men that have ALL fcuked me, pissed in my mouth, AND dumped me. They know that I am trash, and that I will bring their reputations down into the gutter with mine. I will fcuk anyone for publicity. I have had many STDs, but the only one I have now is herpes (got that from Paris too). I am pathetic, plastic, and terribly insecure.
    I am a national and international joke, and gave out my own ANAL/PISS SEX TAPE to get famous. I am a human toilet. I am clearly a very sick human being and I’m 100% shameless. I am the filthiest famewhore in the whole wide world!
    I am Kim Kardashian… Superstar

  16. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t the nipple at full derp on the left moob?

  17. SuperDuper

    “Long time love”? I guess after her track record a few years is an eternity, but I’m pretty sure my grandmother who was married to same man for 62 years is rolling her grave night now.

  18. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    Who is that old lady in the background. She’s in a lot of Kim’s pictures.

  19. Shouldn’t it have read: “PEE MARRY MOOOOO!!!” ?

  20. Robb7

    I thought this fucking moron wanted his private life to be private!!

  21. Hey George, Watch Out!

    Jesus Christ. Does that asshole do EVERYTHING in all caps?

  22. Well, Sloth loves Chunk and Chunk loves Sloth.

  23. Mama Pinkus

    the idea that these two self-absorbed fame whores are parents is frightening

  24. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    that older gal seems to be there to make sure Kim does not tip over

  25. eh

    “Please guarantee to me that they are not happier than me.” – every loser in America. “Well, at least her ass is as big as yours/your wife’s.” – media

  26. anonym

    Cheesy as fuck.

    How many takes did they do?

  27. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Ginger Fail
    Commented on this photo:

    Someone pooped!

  28. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    Uhmmmm, Why is Kim 30lbs lighter in her selfies?

  29. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Britney Spears
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks like a black Liberace

  30. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    Steps carefully because her ASS#- baby is overdue.

  31. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs a “Wide Load” sign

  32. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    That nipple clearly wants out…

  33. Kim Kardashian Nipple Cleavage See-Through
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim? How about retirement? You and your baby daddy can afford it. Stay home, take care of your baby, You deserve it (and so do we!).

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