I’ve been under the weather the past few days, and now I know it was my body’s way of preparing me for the shitstorm of all shitstorms because Kanye West just proposed to Kim Kardashian which proves Kris Jenner is a powerful necromancer who promised to revive his dead mother. There’s no other explanation here except he’s an idiot. Which actually sounds plausible, too, so forget that zombie stuff. Save it for the second kid. E! News reports:
The E! star is engaged to longtime love Kanye West, the rapper popping the question in front of their friends and family at AT&T Park in San Francisco.
Kanye, whose Yeezus Tour touches down in nearby San Jose tomorrow night, rented out the stadium for the occasion. (For all the details on Kim & Kanye’s surprise engagement, tune into E! News Tuesday at 7 p.m. and 11:30 p.m.)
And here we thought Kim’s 33rd birthday bash at Tao this Friday was going to be the major event of the week.
I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I actually think this will be Kim Kardashian’s most authentic marriage yet. Think about it: They don’t want to break up because they have a kid together, he hates being around her, and her family is constantly causing some fucking shit he has to hear about. That’s marriage, folks. All they’re doing now is trying to score a diamond toaster, so maybe, maybe, at one point in the milieu they’ll look at it and go, “You know what? I’m happy with my sparkly toast.” But they’re not, they’re not…
“A Jumbotron for dat jumbo ass. Marry me, girl?” – How I would’ve worked that shit.