Kim Kardashian is Celibate Now

December 17th, 2010 // 110 Comments

Essentially making this photo the ass equivalent of wax fruit you could sit on, Kim Kardashian told Ryan Seacrest she wants to remain single for an entire year, according to Popeater:

“I’ve made a promise to myself and I’m really trying hard to stick to it, but I’m such a hopeless romantic that it’s hard,” she tells Ray. [Ed. Nice Freudian typo, Popeater.] “I want to try to be single my whole year of being 30.”
The ‘Keeping Up With the Kardashians’ star, who recently split from Halle Berry’s ex Aubry, tells Ray that her schedule is simply too full to concentrate on romance right now.
“I have a hundred different jobs,” says Kardashian. “When do I have time to really focus on someone?”

You know what I love most about the Kardashians? They haven’t met a piece of bullshit they wouldn’t sling to sound like they’re actual human beings capable of feelings and emotions. I mean, c’mon, Kim doesn’t want to enter a relationship because she’s concerned about the needs of someone who isn’t her? Get outta here. She wouldn’t stop to put out a baby on fire if she thought it make her ass look “cellulitey”. And I would know. I’ve lit at least three on fire on her front steps. HAVE YOU NO HEART?!

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Cock Dr

    Ha Ha Ha. That’s a good one.
    Maybe she’s holding off for a day or 2 because of a bad herpes outbreak.

    • Facebook me

      This just gives her ‘the out’ to hook up with people while not making herself look like a whore that will spread her legs for anyone. Yet everyone she is seen with doesn’t last long. Kim, its called hooking up and when you are a media whore such as yourself, it makes you look like a whore.

      Paris tried doing that a few years back. It didn’t last long. Instead she went to ‘speed serial dating.’

      These bitches wonder why they aren’t married…smh.

  2. “Hopeless romantic ” my ass. Sure she didn’t mean “hopless gold digger/media whore”? Hard to believe that piss could make a person SO popular.

  3. Joe

    You don’t have to be in a relationship to have sex. That bitch loves dark meat way to much.

    • Cock Dr

      Yes, she said nothing about celibacy.
      Kim will continue to have hookups with a variety of brown skinned athletes, and perhaps that John Mayer douchebag when she feels like something smaller.

      • FattyFatty2X4

        Ouch Doc.
        Where’s that bed side manner you’re famous for?

      • Cock Dr

        My bedside manner is beside the bed. I don’t bring it to this blog.

      • Richard McBeef

        I have two questions for you two. Cock Dr and Fatty. Fatty when Doc is busy banging you up the pooper, what’s the OTHER cock doing? And is THAT why you call yourself Cock Dr?

      • Richard McBeef

        I hope you two die of AIDS.

      • Cock Dr

        Cock Dr = one who tries to help a variety of sick pricks.
        Do either of you Dick Burgers have insurance?
        Fill out the forms; make an appointment.

      • FattyFatty2X4

        Wait, I’m a dick burger now?
        What did I do, but flirt and play.
        No hostility coming from my mouth, Doc.
        Let me back in your good graces.
        Thanks,
        Luv Ya, Fatty.

  4. hahaha losers

    this is just her way of avoiding us thinking she cant get a man for the year.

  5. hahaha losers

    dating sounds like its not working out for her. wonder why.

    porno + spoiled attitude + no personality

    • LOLA

      OH… YES AND THAT IS WHY A LOT OF GUYS WOULD LOVE TO DATE HER AND MARRY HER…

      DO U THINK SHE WILL ACCEPT JUST ANYONE?? IM MORE THAN SURE SHE HAS TONS OF GUYS THAT WOULD LOVE TO DATE HER OR MARRY HER BUT THEY ARE JUST NOT APPROPIATED FOR HER…

      IF U ARE A GUY … SURELY YOU ARE ONE OF THEM.

      IF U ARE A GIRL… FOR SURE U HAVE BEEN BANGED FOR A LOT OF SO NOT WORTHY GUYS OR U ARE JUST FREAKING UGLY.. FLAT CHEST, FLAT BUTT, AND SPECIALLY U ARE JELOUS BITCH =)

      • nicole

        you’re a real dumbass lola! she cant have any guy she wants cus that feeling isn’t mutual, her reputation speaks volumns in the locker rooms and across the world, shes known as a hit it & quit it hoe. no one is jealous of her, sounds like you’d like to skin & wear her, lil wannabe. i bet ur one of those bimbos who tells kim how amazing she is, huh? get a life honey

  6. hahaha losers

    herpes outbreak

  7. Casey

    Is this while she wants to be preggers?

  8. Kill DaSkankdashians

    Celebate? Does this include pooping and peeing on black guys, or is she still allowed to do that? This whole family is camel jockey filth.

  9. Drew

    Basically code for “there’s nobody with enough money that I can dig for at the moment :(“

  10. abe vigoda's eyebrows

    Just like Paris, this chick lies every time she opens her mouth, except to suck a dick.

  11. nicole

    I refuse to watch this new show coming up soon. She makes me sick strutting her fat azz around NY in all that fur. She’s a disgusting person, but if you’ve ever looked at her blog, they sing another tune. And dont dare disagree with those sheep, they’re very obsessed with this skank, it boggles my mind how they WORSHIP her.

    • Richard McBeef

      Well she must not make you too sick you take time out to watch her fucking show you cunt.

      • Richard McBeef

        Why is it that people that complain about individuals know the most about them?

        nicole= FAIL

      • McFeely Smackup

        Why would someone watch a TV show AND read a blog of a person they claim to hate? What? Nicole is a chick? Oh never mind, I get it now.

      • nicole

        yo dik head, I USE to watch their show when it FIRST came out & looked at her blog on occassion. Once they showed their true colors, I stopped watching you little puzzy. Its OBVIOUS you’ve watch the show & read all the blogs about them or you wouldn’t be commenting on them, now go back to sukin on your boys dik you hypocrite!

      • Richard McBeef

        Imposter McBeef – You took the words right out from the real McBeef’s mouth.

      • LOLA

        HAHAHA …! U ARE SO RIGHT! NICOLE= FAILS AND A LOSER WITHOUT LIFE. I TOTALLY LIKE KIM, FOR ME SHE IS SUCH A GORGEOUS WOMAN, WITH SUCH A NICE BODY AND INTELLIGENCE OTHERWISE SHE WOULDNT BE WHERE SHE IS ( FAME AND MONEY BY HERSELF).

        BUT TODAY I HAVE FOUND THIS SUPERFECIAL STUPID PAGE AND IM WASTING MY SUNDAY MORNING READING ARTICLES AND SPECIALLY COMMENTS THAT JUST MAKE ME REALIZE THAT PEOPLE IS SOOO JELOUS AND STUPID.

        AS I SAID I LIKE KIM, BUT 1. I DONT FOLLOW THE SHOW , I WATCH IT OCASSIONALY (I HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO THAN BE STICK TO THE TV) 2. HOW THE FUCK THAT NICOLE KNOWS ABOUT THE FUR.. HAHA

    • yo nicole, chill girl you sound way too angry about someone that doesn’t even affect your life. It’s good to have opinions but not when they make you that angry – you taking it way too seriously lighten up!

  12. LJ

    Nowadays Kim only gives blowjobs in the men’s room cause giving head is not real sex.

  13. Richard McBeef

    these cunts are just living, breathing marketing tools to convince you need to buy whatever sort of shit they have glommed onto for a paycheck. Why do people give a shit about these vapid cunts? I mean who gives a shit if she fucks this year or not, unless it is recorded and torrentable?

    • nicole

      to quote you…….Why is it that people that complain about individuals know the most about them?
      nicole= FAIL

      Seems like you’ve spent many of nights wacking off to them while viewing their show you dizzy bitch! What are you, over-weight & ugly? you sound like a real winner, Mr McDick Head

      • Richard McBeef

        I see your pissy that the imposter McBeef called you a cunt. That’s fine, he said exactly what I think, including the cunt part.

        This McBeef is only familar with the kardass family through watching a fucktape, seeing those vapid bitches on conan the other night, and through the daily postings on the superficial.

        Overweight and ugly? You should have went with the masturbating in your parents basement for the trifecta of tired and lame insults.

      • KimsGapingHole

        I think it’s funny when ppl are obviously scared of getting told off on a blog site and try and blame an imposter when they know THEY were the ones that actually said it. Can you say chickenshit.

    • hahaha losers

      right they are just republican shills. what an empty life.

      • Richard McBeef

        Chickenshit is when you can’t even use your own anon internet name to insult others. I just want credit where credit is due, you’ll see that I fully acknowledge the truth said by the McBeef imposter.

      • Richard McBeef

        ..and just because I may be a chickenshitted son of a bitch that talks shit behind a computer screen and blame others, doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. **sob sob**

  14. Oh snap

    ” “I’ve made a promise to myself and I’m really trying hard to stick to it, but I’m such a hopeless romantic that it’s hard,” she tells Ray. ”

    Is what you read, but what didn’t read was, “After we’re done hear interviewing, I want to take that promise and have you shove it up my big fat ass because I’m a hopeless,romantic that you can use for the night as long as you don’t cum in me. Kanye and I learned that lesson over this past summer when he knocked me up! I want to be single the whole year that I’m 30… Does a one night stand count as a relationship? I sure hope not! Anyway, I have a hundred different jobs. Those hand jobs and blow jobs aren’t going to do themselves, right? When would I have time to focus on someone between all of these male suitors who promise not to commit to a relationship. Just a one night stand!”

  15. Mr. Natural

    That dumper is longer than her thigh – which means gargantuan stinkin’ chode-laden buttcrack

  16. Sad Face Emoticon

    On an unrelated note, this site keeps crashing my Internet Explorer. WTF?

  17. Kim Kardashian
    ginger
    Commented on this photo:

    Her face looks full up with the botox.

  18. Savalas

    >I’m really trying hard to stick to it, but I’m such a hopeless romantic that it’s hard

    Translation: She likes the taste of her own fecies so much that abstaining from ATM for an entire year will be difficult.

  19. KC

    I think you made a typo. That should read “Kim Kardashian is Cellulite Now”

  20. Rosie

    Shenanigans.

  21. hahaha losers

    she just wants to fuck around like the slut she is

  22. Carissa

    Okay I watched the sex tape… Where was the urine part?

    • All man are not created rough

      Actually Elvis and Bigfoot brought and copyrighted that part of the tape so they can watch it on a continuous looped.. It exist. You just need more passion behind your search, like everyone else who seen it.

    • Lady Blah Blah

      It was edited out of the version released to the public by Vivid Entertainment. TMZ reported that the golden shower scene would not be part of the final version of the tape. If KK denies that this scene ever existed, keep in mind that she once denied the existence of the sex tape. Ray-J, her partner in the tape, has confirmed that the original included a golden shower scene (with Kim getting pissed on by Ray-J).

    • Are you finding yourself between a rock and a rough place?

      Find the article and post it here loud mouth…

  23. Ned

    Petite, small breasted women are best. They look WAY hotter as they get older.
    Can you imagine what a saggy, sloppy mess Kim Kardashian is going to be in 10 years?
    Look up pics of Mimi Rogers. She had gorgeous jugs when she was younger, but later nude pics of her are a horror show.

  24. dude

    For her, “celibate” means she will only let white dudes urinate on her.

  25. fester

    Kim might believe she is celibate but let’s face it, her ass has a mind (and a zip-code) of it’s own. It might be busy servicing the 7th fleet and she’d have absolutely no clue.

  26. DKNY

    I think they misquoted her. She’s “sell-a-butt”, meaning she’ll use her fat ass to make money any way she can.

  27. Kim Kardashian
    hahaha losers
    Commented on this photo:

    god, her face is weird looking.

  28. Juan on Juan

    “I have a hundred different jobs, one of which is sucking fat black cocks,” says Kardashian. “When do I have time to really focus on someone?”

  29. Kim Kardashian
    hahaha losers
    Commented on this photo:

    megan fox wannabe

  30. hahaha losers

    megan fox wannabe hair

  31. hahaha losers

    how big are this chicks deuces?

  32. Barry

    “hopeless romantic”…well she got the hopeless part right.

  33. Puddin' Taine

    I’m sure she’s still gonna bang her way through half the NBA this coming year anyway

  34. Want to wreck the hiney…….

    .

  35. Kim Kardashian
    name
    Commented on this photo:

    shes looking old!!!!

  36. Andy

    Her schedule wouldn’t be so hectic if it didn’t take her an hour to wipe her ass.

  37. blue

    can vapid plastic face just stfu and go away already?

  38. Lady Blah Blah

    Her face expresses narcissistic pride, but in what? The fact that the US is so FUBAR that someone like her can become rich and famous? Or is she proud of having a ass that you could throw a tailgate party on?

  39. Parker

    I’d like to stuff some charcoal briquettes between her ass cheeks to see how long it’d take to turn them into diamonds. If it’s not outside the realm of modern physics I’d like to find a way to pry her cheeks apart long enough to get my weiner into her ass for a little l’amour anal.

    • Richard McBeef

      I’m sure you can do it with the right machinery, maybe a combination of the jaws of life and a rib spreader for open heart surgery. the question is will you gain the same satisfaction from fucking her ass crack as you would from actually penetrating her anus.

      I bet that bitch can’t make a sandwich for shit though and I know that you are as much connoisseur of fine buttsecks as you are of fine sandwiches.

  40. Kim Kardashian
    klev
    Commented on this photo:

    i really wish i could just kick this idiot in the head. i just want to run into her once. and just kick the sh*t out her and her dumb, plastic self.

  41. klev

    i really wish i could just kick this idiot in the head. i just want to run into her once. and just kick the sh*t out her and her dumb, plastic self.

  42. Inmate 12236969

    Well we’re just shits and grins over here in D-Block come and visit us Kim those pussy sports assholes all they think about is play with balls—now we can show how ass fucking is really done even a fake ass like yours.

    “Yo Wesley bring your not tax paying ass over here bitch; I want a vampire suck.”

  43. Bob

    Translation: Since I’ve been spreading my legs for just about anybody lately, nobody with more money than me will give me the time of day anymore. I’m going to take some time off, get my vagina rejuvenated, and try again after it heals.

  44. CCM

    If you go from the back of her head down, it’s like an ocean, then a mountain, then a hill, then the plains. She’s a metaphor for Africa.

  45. Simole

    Do me a fucking favour. Is there nothing she won’t say to get her massive arse some more column inches?

  46. me2also

    Wasn’t she on People Mag about 2 weeks ago saying that she thought she’d be married by 30? And now she wants to stay single for a full year? She just wants her name in print and these mags & blogs give it to her. She & her famewhore family need to go away.

  47. ash

    All I want for Christmas is for the Kardashians to disappear. Plus, they’re mostly plastic objects anyway, so I guess that still fits in to the commercialism spirit anyway?

  48. hahaha losers

    sorry, you have to have a brain to be a ‘romantic’

  49. What a Dumbass

    I couldn’t care less about this human urinal cake. If I had to take 1 step for her to avoid getting run over, I wouldn’t move…

  50. hahaha losers

    fake-assed fatass

Leave A Comment