Kim Kardashian Only Went To Haiti For A Fashion Show. Surprise!

December 21st, 2011 // 68 Comments

The National Enquirer is hit or miss – mostly miss – but let’s take a look at their report on Kim Kardashian‘s “humanitarian mission” to Haiti, and then I’ll explain why it’s absolutely true:

During her 48-hour stay in the nation’s capital, the reality TV diva – accompa­nied by her mother/manager Kris Jenner – stayed in a $1,000-a-night hotel suite, traveled in a royalty-worthy convoy with her own photographers and bodyguards, and strutted down the runway in a fashion show.
But she mostly avoided the squalid refu­gee camps where an estimated 600,000 Haitians remain homeless with little ac­cess to sanitary facilities and clean water.
When she visited a school to hand out Christmas presents, it was the area’s most prestigious academy – and orphans were bused in to meet her!

So how do I know everything the Enquirer just said happened? Kim Kardashian is denying it. Via People:

While my experience was completely life-changing … a very emotional and surprisingly positive journey that I will never forget, some media outlets have tried to tarnish the motive behind my visit and have written completely ridiculous and untrue things,” she wrote.
“The truth is that I was at the Haitian Artisan Fair, where the amazing men and women who make their jewelry and crafts sell them to visitors to make a living, and I bought some beautiful jewelry!”

In case I haven’t made it crystal clear that everything a Kardashian says is bullshit wrapped in a bullshit shell served with bullshit dipping sauce, let me do that now: If Kim Kardashian tells you sharks can’t fly, the next time you’re on a plane one’s going to jump out of a cloud and bite you in the dick. FACT.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    This shot is the very definition of “laughing at you and not with you”.

  2. Snooki's Taint

    ““The truth is that I was at the Haitian Artisan Fair, where the amazing men and women who make their jewelry and crafts sell them to visitors to make a living, and I bought some beautiful jewelry!”

    And then, i bought some BIG BLACK DICK. So who can impugn my motives?

    • LJ

      Some one should take you out to a back alley and kick the shit out of you untill you promise to stop posting these bullshit advertisements.

    • Mike Oxbhig

      WHO CARES WHY SHE WENT? She should have gone there 1st on some sort of “Eradicate the worthless scum of the Earth/ drains on society” tour to start the systematic snuffing of the billions of people on earth that do nothing but take take take and fuck fuck fuck, giving nothing back and draining money form charities that dont see what a waste it is trying to do anything to save them.

      Let the flies feast on them!

  3. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever, Kim’s scanning the room for potential new husbands. ” ok boys enough of this inane hunger talk, let’s see how well you can handle a basketball!!” Worthless pig

  4. bruce [haaaay!]

    the shamelessness knows no bounds

  5. Joe Mama

    As has been pointed out on other threads: the Hatian earthquake happened almost 2 years ago [Jan. 2010
    ]. Why has she waited so long to come forward and offer to help? Sorry, I think the Enquirer has the straight scoop on this one. The Kardashian PR machine has lurched from over-drive into Full Tilt Boogy.

  6. skunk

    notice how every country run by blacks is a shithole……..

    • Did you really think you had to point that out?

    • little turtle head

      yeah all the ones run by whites are just doing dandy! (U.S.,ITALY,BRITAIN,GREECE,RUSSIA)

      • meh

        @skunk thank you! Absolutely true.

        @turtle head – As Chomsky said ‘you don’t know that you don’t know’. It’s all political machinations, the countries are just fine.

        Refugee camps with no water, electricity or food and she stays in a hotel that charges what most Haitians will never see in a lifetime. Average salary there is like $10 a month and that’s top end.

      • Winnie

        Suprising that a racist would quote Chomsky.

      • read a book

        Have you paid any thought to the history of colonisation that many underdeveloped countries have experienced? Haiti would likely have been a lot better off if not for the independence debt Haiti was forced to pay to France.

  7. karlito

    you guys have the power…don’t watch their show, don’t buy their products, demand to the sponsors of shows and magazines that mention their names with a boycott of their products if they talk about these whores. they have enough money to live on for the rest of their VD infested lives. let them fade into obscurity. when i heard that Kim Jong il died my first thought was…why couldn’t it be Kim KarTRASHadin.

    • Clarence Beeks

      I have NEVER bought a product of theirs, or ever watched their shitty shows.

      She and her family are complete pieces of shit. I’ve known this from the beginning.

    • BE

      The problem is that the thinking public, that have lives and some form of ethics other than money DON’T watch their freak show.

      Who does? Thirteen year old girls – god help us all as they will be the ones “taking care” of us when we get old.

      So if you’re parents – block this sleaze machine and don’t give your kids their $150 jeans you bought (at all places) Sears.

  8. EricLr

    Those orphans should be damn glad to have been allowed this close to American royalty. Maybe one day they can tweet about it on a laptop they’ve stolen to pawn for food.

  9. Hugh Gentry

    it will be an amazing day when the Kardashian Klan’s plane goes down killing all of them.

  10. Rock throwing hipster

    Well..what did you expect her to walk through refugee camps wearing a bikini? Those mofos are crazy.

    • EricLr

      did you expect her to walk through refugee camps wearing a bikini?

      Not for less than $1 million, her choice bikini designer, and an exclusive television special rights contract.

  11. Fish bustin’ out the big guns for this one :D
    Funny shit man, just made my morning.

  12. I love how so many celebrities refer to experiences like these as “completely life-changing”—and then continue to live their lives exactly as they did before.

  13. Cock Dr

    So she went down there to shop, strut her big ass down a fashion show runway, and to establish bogus “humanitarian” credentials with some staged photos as the fake wedding 4 $ shitstorm continues.
    She sets the bar for famewhorery quite high.

  14. from TMZ

    Kardashian Family Reportedly Use ‘Slave Labor’ to Produce Kardashian Products

    The Kardashians — who make millions of bucks off of their fashion lines — use “slave labor” and turn a blind eye to shocking working conditions … this according to a news report.

    A human rights group is investigating claims that workers in China — as young as 16 — are working in squalid conditions to manufacture merchandise for the K-Dash by Kardashian label, the Kris Jenner Kollection and ShoeDazzle, according to a Star Magazine investigation.

    The institute for Global Labour and Human Rights confirms with TMZ … they have launched an investigation, amidst claims the Kardashians’ products are produced in factories wreaking of stench from sewage, with temperatures north of 100 degrees. An official from the organization tells TMZ, conditions in the factories that manufacture Kardashian products are “horrific.”

    There are also claims the employees work up to 84 hours a week, earning $1 an hour. The Kardashians rake in approximately $65 million a year.

    Kris Jenner tells TMZ … the factories manufacture a number of products unrelated to Kardashian lines. Jenner adds, “As far as I know the factories that are used to manufacture the Kardashian clothing and shoes have nothing terrible going on at all and the factories are very well policed and meet factory standards.” Kris says she has not visited the factories in China.

  15. From Latin america

    This fat ass chic can kiss my butt. She only went to Haiti cuz her mom suggested it to clean her name after her fake marriage and BIG FUCK UP, if she is so worried about the kids why she didn’t stay in a more modest hotel and used the freacking $1000 a night to feed them! Ugg this family has no shame and I don’t think their stupid program will last long, it’s call KARMA, what goes around comes around bitches!!!!!

  16. Klap

    Too bad her plane didnt crash into the ocean and the world can be cleansed of this useless whore. Maybe someday soon and we can all rejoice!

  17. LJ

    1. The publicity whores only spent two days in Haiti. Who has a “Life changing” experiance in a two day stop over.

    2. There was no denial in her post of her staying in a $1,000 per night suite.

    3. From her blog; “The truth is that I was at the Haitian Artisan Fair, where the amazing men and women who make their jewelry and crafts sell them to visitors to make a living, and I bought some of their beautiful jewelry after the fashion show!! ” So she was at a fashion show.

    4. She does not deny that the orphans (for the photo ops) were bussed in to her.

    So basically she’s not denying anything in the National Enquirer story, she’s just saying that the Enquirer doesn’t understand the Kardashian spin. (i.e. It’s a Kardashian world and the rest of you should know your place as subserviant to our whims.)

  18. Venom

    This delusional bitch and her family really think that everyone is stupid, don’t they? Do they really think that people are so dumb that they would think that a self absorbed narcissistic family that only drives $300,000 plus cars, lives in $6 million plus homes and only wears designer clothes and carried $10,000 handbags really gives a shit about the poor and underprivileged?

    First they piss people off with that sham marriage and now this. I think Kris Jenner’s pimp juice is wearing off.

    • De Vo

      Ditto !

    • gumption

      Exactly. I mean what did people think they were going to do in Haiti? Donate money? Go into the devestated areas and pitch in with a shovel? hahahaha! The crap they do with the fake marriage and tits and ass is on them, but when they make a mockery out of starving and suffering people, they truly deserve to die and die horribly.

  19. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    You two are black enough. Busy tonight?

  20. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    small african child on the right

    says it all with his face

  21. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Govt. Cheese
    Commented on this photo:

    Kimmy just made this little Haitian drummer boy eat her poon!

  22. Frankly, I’m disappointed in all of you. Kim has done literally tons of charity work throughout the years. In fact, here’s some photographic evidence:

  23. De Vo

    If that isn’t a fake smile with the “get me the fuck out of here now” ! look in her eyes I don’t know what is. Are best bet is she picked up one of them fucked up diseases that no ones ever heard of or seen. And it’s so bad they name it after her. Oh shit I think I got Kardashians !

  24. De Vo

    I also must say her head is getting gigantic ! It’s the same size as the whole upper torso of the kids behind her …wait look at there faces she totaly just farted .

  25. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    In this pic, you can see how truly ugly she is.

  26. How many of them peed on her while she was there?

  27. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    Please stop reporting on this horrible lying piss loving cunt.


  28. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    See what urine can do for you!

  29. forrest gump

    well, she just thought haitians would be thankfull with new FASHION.

  30. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    Everyone has it all wrong, Kim went to Haiti to meet her employees

  31. Terry

    It’s her own goddamn fault. Her reputation has proceeded her. So her landing there in that fucked up ass country with an entourage is suspect.

  32. Kim Kardashian Haiti
    Commented on this photo:

    what has she done to her nose? she is really starting to look like her mother. too far.

  33. patrick

    isnt the fact that a 1000 a night hotel existing in haiti more fucked up than merely staying at one?

  34. Rawr

    She actually said on her website that she bought jewelry AFTER the fashion show…So, I’m to assume she actually was there for a fashion show.

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