Kim Kardashian Forgets Why She’s Famous

By: The Superficial / September 9, 2010

Kim Kardashian is apparently flipping out over Playboy.com releasing outtakes (above) from her 2007 photo shoot this week because I’m sure something like this wasn’t specifically written in the contract and agreed to in advance. They must’ve broken into her house and made her take a cut of the profits! No, not again! RadarOnline reports:

The Keeping Up With The Kardashians star, who publicly expressed regret about doing the naked shoot, now has reacted privately about the new photos surfacing.
“Kim was really upset that the new photos were released,” a source close to Kim exclusively told RadarOnline.com.
“She freaked out that they were out there, she didn’t think that they were going to be seen again.

You know what? I’m willing to accept Kim Kardashian has no clue how the Internet works and legitimately thought the issues would be recycled into textbooks for under-privileged children. (“Mommy, why can’t I stop reading my math book?”) That being said, I don’t know how she explains this letter written to her fans over a year after the shoot:

There are a bunch of reports about me on the web claiming that I said I would never do Playboy again. They’re quoting me as saying, “It was a one-off. I don’t think I’ll do Playboy or anything like that again.”
THIS IS TOTALLY FALSE!
First of all, I have never used the term “one-off.” It’s simply not in my vocabulary.
Here’s my thinking: While I’m not planning to pose for the men’s magazine in the immediate future, I definitely don’t want to close the door to the opportunity! I absolutely love Hugh Hefner and the rest of the Playboy team and appreciate the opportunity to work with them!
Never say never,
Kim

I think what she meant to say was:

“Oh, my God, Playboy raped me and forced me to do the shoot.
I’m just a strong-willed businesswoman trying to bring happiness to the world through a scripted reality show, carefully choreographed paparazzi shots of my mammoth ass and pretending I didn’t get famous by releasing my own sex tape for $5 million.
Justin Bieber Justin Bieber Justin Bieber.
Lindsay Lohan’s my new BFF.
[Various other Google Keywords here.]
DON’T EVER STOP LOOKING AT ME!

– Kim”

That sounds about right.

Photos: Playboy