Fridays are typically a slow news day, so you’ll be surprised to learn that Kim Kardashian was conveniently flour bombed last night during the launch of her new perfume so of course that’s all anyone is talking about this morning because if there’s one thing we’re all good at in this entertainment biz, it’s being lazy and predictable. On that note, Kim isn’t even pressing charges and E! is hard at work painting this poor woman as a crazed fur activist even though she was most likely a poor immigrant promised untold riches in America by a lying serpent of a woman:
OFFICER: I can’t get this one to crack. She won’t speak English. Send in El Guapo.
EL GUAPO: I am already here. *descends from ceiling light, removes sombrero*
OFFICER: Can you get her to talk?
EL GUAPO: I shall speak to her in her own tongue. Señora! ¿Te dirá El Guapo por qué tirar la harina a la mujer con la culata de un camello? [Will you tell El Guapo why you throw flour at woman with the ass of a camel?]
WOMAN: Me dijeron que podría haber puesto a preparar al wookie una. [They said I could have a job grooming the Wookiee one.]
EL GUAPO: Se le mintió. El Kardashians no tienen honor. Su familia es la de un urinario que los hombres orinar en libertad. Ahora, ¿quién le paga? [You were lied to. The Kardashians have no honor. Their family is that of a urinal that men piss on freely. Now who paid you?]
WOMAN: It was the plastic one with the dried up puta! *spits on the floor*
EL GUAPO: A HA!
OFFICER: You’ve done it again, El Guapo.
EL GUAPO: And so I have. And so I have…
Fin.
UPDATE: Swapped the region-locked YouTube video with TMZ‘s, and notice how the flour bomber is behind the security rope and just waltzes right up to Kim. Seriously, if was that easy, she’d be dead now. People hate her.
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, Splash News
actually it was thrown on her because that’s how you find the vagina on a fat girl…you throw flour on them and look for the wet spot.
That black woman with her jaw at the floor has not seen enough shit in her lifetime.
Christ, even Lindsay wouldn’t stoop to this.
(girl in the back)
*oops* My secret stash of powdered sugar donuts just blew up!
Fat girl: «Her fat ass + flour = looks soooo much like a powdered sugar donut…. OMG !»
2 questions:
–Where was Jon Hamm during this?
–Is there any chance that the white powder is weaponized anthrax?
It is going to take a lot more anti-fungal powder than that….
I wasn’t alive in November 1963, but I think now I know how it felt on that horrible weekend when that footage of Jack Ruby shoving a gun into Lee Oswald’s stomach flashed across our nation’s TV screens.
Wait—this is nothing like that. This is just stupid.
I was alive in December of ‘ought-nine, when images of that horrible weekend that Snooki accused a bunch of strangers in a bar of stealing drinks and one of them punched her square in the face. As that footage flashed across the nation’s screen, I first remember thinking, “back, and to the left”, and then, “whatever tops this is going to be awesome.”
Sadly, this is not it.
[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/23/jersey shore punch-340_194.jpg[/img]
Though it is partially from not currently living in America, I am proud to say that this is the only actual ‘video’ I have seen of Jersey shore. Proof that you don’t have to go to hell to know its hot.
It was just assault and battery with intent to harm so they aren’t going to press charges in order to encourage others to come up to Kim Kardashian and physically assault her. No need to get the police or lawyers involved, it’s just Kim.
MOO
Her “boyfriends” usually do this to find the wet spot.
WHO CARES ABOUT THIS WHERE IS JUSTICE FOR TRAYVON MARTIN… HIS KILLER STILL WALKING THE STREETS!!!!!!!!!
Today Show….”paramedics were called to the scene, but Kardashian refused treatment.”
JHFC…….
.
Flour can be dangerous. It can ruin pancaked foundation and gum up the false eyelashes something terrible.
I lol’d.
how long did it take lilo to get there and snort that carpet clean?
Aaaaand I just came.
She has a fat ass!
That’s what you get for pissing on blacks.
This isn’t the first time Kim Kardashian has been pasted with a white substance.
Within seconds, Lindsay Lohan was charged with a second assault on Kim for aggressively trying to snort her.
Wait. I think I just figured it all out. The flour-bomber is actually a loyal Bossip reader who misunderstood what they meant by “choppin them cakes.”
I would hate to be one of her bodyguards right now. Someone’s about to get fired.
It’s hard to tell, but I believe if I was watching over her, this wouldn’t have had happened.
Nonsense. All the bodyguards reacted exactly according to script, just like in the rehearsals.
Too bad it wasn’t a cinder block.
I would have bought all Superficial readers a steak dinner if it was sulfuric acid.
Not only does she have a dandruff problem but apparently she smells terrible.
I’m sure everyone on this blog is broke, ugly,and oh yeah did I say UGLY!!. Anyone that can hate on somebody that you don’t even know really tells alot about u HATERS!!! Ya’ll sound angry. Lol!!! Haven’t your mothers taught you if u don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all. But thats the problem with these disrespectful a## youngsters now. Your mothers not teaching ya’ll sh##!!!!! This stuff is entertainment, stop making it your life!!!!!! And go get one while you at it……………
Lighten up, fatty. Preferably through diet and exercise.
@@@ (stinky mcpoop)— Don’t let (Faith) get under your skin— it is a proven zoological fact— that when in their natural habitat— sluts have been known to defend other sluts, and at times even to death.
Khloe?
Take your own damn advice and stop calling me ugly.
Fuckin’ hypocrites.
Faith, let us know when you first public pair puts in an appearance.
“Anyone that can hate on somebody that you don’t even know really tells alot about u HATERS!!! Ya’ll sound angry. Lol!!!”
You sound crazed. You should spell it “Mwahahahahahaaa!” Like a high-pitched witchy-voiced mental patient. I have a visual of you with a white birch-broom fright wig like Doc Brown. You’re kind of drooly, also.
Flour is ok but a brick is more deserved.
FUCK Kim Kardashian! That is all.
Hmm, not pressing charges? Had to be a paid stunt.
BTW, it looks like white powder is Kim’s Kryptonite against black microphones.
What do you call a room full of huge ginourmous asses?
Ahem…
“KIM KARDASHIAN IS A FAT MOO-COW SLUT ON THE DEVIL’S OWN TV NETWORK, E!”
That is all.
Automagically, too, it seems.
Moo-kow slut. E! suxxors.
Someone should’ve told her you take off your clothes before you have an STD treatement powder applied.
Haha.
Is it true that she walked off to get urinated on, so she could then eat the subsequent dough?
Fucking Awesome, too bad it wasn’t a damn hand-grenade!
Fuck You Kim you waste of air, I can’t wait for you to meet Whitney in her present location you useless CUNT!
She probably paid the bitch to do that. We havent heard from her in the news for like a week. boycott kimmmm
Her ass is so disgusting. It looks like an old women’s ass
Good god she’s so disgusting
Doesn’t she have the Penguin’s body from Batman. Her ass is seriously gross
Love those cheek implants, nose job, botox, lip injections, fake hair, fake tan, fake tits, fake teeth, FAKE ASS. She looks exactly like Cher with the body of The Penguin from Batman. Sick man.
Her face is morphing into a fookin monster
The President has been shot! The President has been shot!
Harvey on TMZ thinks the Kardashians are a successful family seeking the American Dream…hence, he attacks Kris Humphries constantly and gives poor Kimmie the soft headlines. She called him to tell her tale of woe. Obviously, TMZ is team Kim. The woman cried when she lost an earring for God’s sake. If she had seriously been flour bombed, she would have been hysterical, not knowing what the substance was. Really Harvey is it worth it to have the Kardashians in your pocket. Disgusting.
Totally agree, Essa. TMZ is the K’s go-to “soft story” location. They’ve been banging on Kris H. for months — and Kim is just this poor, unfortunate lovely young girl — who’s 31+ years old, twice married and a cheating, lying whore who promoted HERSELF by releasing the sex tape WITH Ray J. They both bargained for millions on its release.
omg this isshhh had me rolling when i read the description i though it was an actual four bomb that exploded now that would of been funnier… like why waist the flour though i could of made about 8 cookies with all that flour the economy is bad and my culinary class is not getting a lot of money for food…uggghhhh
yo that was a waste of flour i could of made 8 cookies with that shit in this economy
If that was lohan it would have been cocaine and not flour
March 23: never forget
hey kim k hater your mother dresses you funny
Your stupid! ^^^
this woman is gorgeous!