Kim Kardashian Finally Took A Selfie, We Can Live Again!

It’s really not that hard to figure out what we do here. We take the hottest, trending topics and then sarcastically mask our disdain for the society that makes those topics the hottest and trending. (Plus shamelessly harvest boob photos for clicks, which is obviously making things better. We’re helpers.) So below is Kim Kardashian’s first selfie of 2017, and since her robbery, which I’m guessing she had to take soon or turn back into a pumpkin full of Brazilian butt fat and a hole from Ray J’s penis. And because cramming herself back into the public eye in order to feed Kris Jenner’s Chaos Emerald is obviously the goal here, Kim also walked around Bel Air yesterday in clothes that were definitely picked out by Kanye West, if not his actual clothes. So clearly their marriage isn’t in trouble, and in fact, it looks like they found a way to restore that spark that’s been missing for so long.

“What can I do to be sexy for you, baby?”
“WEAR MY PANTS AND TURN INTO ME, BITCH!!”
“Okay…”

kim kardashian first selfie 2017
Snapchat

“That’s right… do the duck lips… duck lips give me POWER… everlasting POWER…” – Satan in the background, you’re looking right at her

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