Kim Kardashian Is Selling Her Own Fidget Spinners

I don’t care about fidget spinners. I don’t care that they are 2017’s most uselessly trendy gadget, I don’t care that they’re the butt of 45% of every joke on the Internet, and I don’t care that Kim Kardashian is selling one in her Kimoji online store. Doesn’t affect me at all.

That being said if I saw someone on the street fidgeting with one of these blatant displays of blind, excessive capitolism, I probably wouldn’t care about you or anything you had to say. I’d write you off pretty much instantly after seeing you holding one of these fucking things… unless you invited me to your pool… then I’d probably hide the shame I felt for you and take you up on that offer, it’s hot as shit out here.

BUT if I arrive at said pool to find you have also purchased one of Kim Kardashian’s inflatable ass pool toys, you better have a Yeti full of ice cold Fresca to get back on my good side.

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