I Went On Vacation And All You Got Was A Garbage Bag Full of Cottage Cheese

April 25th, 2014 // 73 Comments

Alright, folks, it’s that time of the year again when I retreat to the south and remind myself why I wish The Union had nukes during the Civil War. So as always, you’ll be in the soft, capable, probing hands of Photo Boy. That said, you probably won’t be seeing a Most Important People this weekend or the next, but know that I’ll still be watching. Always watching. Sometimes even when you’re asleep. But before I go, and to keep this post cattle-themed like its photo gallery, here’s John Stewart slapping Cliven Bundy‘s dick out of Sean Hannity‘s mouth because I didn’t have enough time to leave Photo Boy an upper-decker, so a shitfest in the comments seemed like the next best thing:

NOTE: This post was put together last night, so if John Stewart happened to do something even more awesome regarding Cliven Bundy, pretend I posted that while you went, “Damn, that Fish sure do cook up some good Internet.” But without making it sound racisty like I just did for no apparent reason. You’re gonna miss me.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Splash News, WENN


  1. Nobody calls out Fox News on their bullshit like Jon Stewart. Good job.

    • my Aunty Kate just got silver Cadillac CTS Wagon just by some parttime working online. go right here

      … C­a­S­h­S­­­FL­Ow.C­­­­­oM

  2. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I don’t see her holding a purse. Maybe she’s carrying it back there.

  3. I never thought I’d say this, but: Go back to the bandage dresses, which at least don’t look like a full diaper.

  4. As a native of rural Souf Cackalacky, I feel Fish’s pain.

  5. Fish, enjoy your heart attack at Cracker Barrel.

  6. Her gargantuan phony ass looks vile in whatever she wears, but this is just fucking hideous. MOO. But thanks for sparing us her frozen, orange face?

  7. Cock Dr

    There’s a women who could easily lure all of Clive Bundy’s cows off of BLM lands. At last a use for Kim Kardashian!

  8. brick

    Where in this wretched south are you going?

    • Juch

      The States With The Most Hate Crimes [ranked]
      Year: 2011; numbers are incidents per 100,000 people
      1. District of Columbia – 13.43
      2. Massachusetts – 5.77
      3. New Jersey – 5.76
      4. Oregon – 5.25
      5. Kentucky – 4.33
      6. Maine – 4.14
      7. North Dakota – 4.05
      8. Connecticut – 3.91
      9. Colorado – 3.73
      10. Minnesota – 3.71

      The only southern state in there is Kentucky. Not sure what to consider DC . . half north/half south?

      From: http://www.businessinsider.com/fbi-2011-hate-crime-statistics-2012-12

      • …what’s your point?
        …who said that was the criteria for wretched?
        …why not post more random statistics, like; states with the highest snuggie sales …that’d be just as relevant a response.

      • Smith

        Only two of those – Kentucky and North Dakota – are red states too. So, if you want to be a hate crime victim, go to the ‘enlightened’ liberal states. Has there even been a liberal who wasn’t a hypocrite?

      • Seriously if you want to compare hypocrisy bring it on, your Boy Sean is the king and last I checked he was in lockstep with your and your dimwitted ilk dipshit.

      • Has there ever been a “conservative” like you and Juch who ran around looking for “liberal hypocrisy” who wasn’t a fuckwitted moron because they failed to comprehend what stats like these mean? Vigilance regarding crimes “motivated by bias against a particular race, religion, sexual orientation, ethnicity, or disability” is only as good as the agencies reporting it within that state, and those agencies are only as good as their location and both the demographic and number of people they serve.

        This is why:

        Massachusetts has 308 agencies serving roughly 6.3 million people – out of a total pop of 6.6 million – and reporting 367 incidents.
        That leaves 331,616 people, about 5% of its population, “unrepresented”, for lack of a better word, by any reporting agency. The Massachusetts population density is roughly 620 people/sq. mile, which is much higher than the national average of 81.32. The most prevalent race in Massachusetts is white – 80.41% of the total population. The average Massachusetts education level is higher than the national average.

        Mississippi bottoms on this list with 54 “participating” agencies serving 748,806 people – out of a total pop of *2,991,207* – and reporting ONE incident. That leaves 75% of its population – some 2,242,401 residents – with no agencies to represent them. The population density is 61.27 people/sq. mi, which is 1/10 of Massachusetts’ numbers, and lower than the national average of 81.32. The most prevalent race is white – 59.13% of the total population. The average Mississippi education level is lower than the national average.

        GET IT NOW?

  9. Oh BABY

    If you hate the south so much, Fish, don’t go there. I’m pretty sure they don’t want your kind (and by “your kind” I mean intellectual wannabes with few brain cells, ignorant opinions, and an entitlement mentality that’s earned very little of what it thinks it deserves). May you have several Deliverance moments on your trip, seeing as how you view all southerners that way.

    • JC

      When you’re not masturbating your rage boner on the internet, do you engage in equally productive hobbies in the real world? For example, do you pick random clouds that look “libtarded” and scream at them?

      • I think he originally went by Convex because the brain tumor made his skull bulge out.

      • I stand by my earlier speculations: hand puppets, a collection of milk bottles full of three year’s worth of his own urine, and poorly taxidermied displays of the neighborhoods’ missing pets.

        And yet he still makes the time to post here – that microscopic dick doesn’t just wank itself, ya know?

    • Waaah! Whats the matter, are you afraid someone is going to f*ck your sister besides you???

    • You’re projecting an awful lot on FIsh and assuming a great deal about us here in the South too. It’s kind of nice and we’re surprisingly live and let live types. Biscuits instead of rolls at restaurants is great. The weather is great. People are friendly enough. I’m glad I live down here. How about you stay away, Convex? Nobody in any part of the country likes a belligerent jackass.

    • Plus we get it when people are just making a joke. It’s OK to laugh at yourself sometimes.

    • Oh BABY's subconscious

      Yayyyy! Five people are talking to me! It’s so nice to finally have some sort of human interaction! Maybe if I call them all libtarded again, more people will talk to me! If only mom could see me now, talking to five different people, she wouldn’t – nay, couldn’t – call me a loser anymore!

    • Oh BABY's id

      be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole. be an asshole.

  10. So, with Fish’s gone… no review confirming that ASM2 is the complete PoS we all thought it would be?

    Goddammit. I have to make my own opinion now.

  11. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Ace Hunter
    Commented on this photo:

    That looks like Elephant hide. Fitting.

  12. Robb7

    Does this lard-ass cunt ever look in a mirror — rather than seeing her reflection in a car window??!!

  13. PassingTrue

    You really can’t shut somebody down via a one way primal scream into the camera on your own show. Be a man and invite Hannity on. O’Reilly was on the show. And while I don’t like either of them, it was at least interesting.

    • I think the lack of Hannity guest appearances on The Daily Show has less to do with a lack of an invitation and more to do with Hannity knowing he’d get his butt handed to him in a debate with Stewart.

      • It’s why SCUM limbaugh won’t allow UNSCREENED callers to his “show”. There’s a video floating around of when blubber SCUM limbaugh first started out and he was giving his idiotic “views” to a studio audience and the audience just tore the SCUMshithead blubberlard a new asshole. So SCUM limbaugh learned a lesson from THAT show and never allows any countervailing views to his as SCUM limbaugh ends up looking like the stupid fucking shithead that HE IS when people are allowed to reply to IT.

      • I think you’re trying to say that Rush Limbaugh is scum, and I agree.

  14. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    God I want to pee on that.

  15. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Rasputin's Evil Twin
    Commented on this photo:

    Fish, WTF? You go to the South, and we have to suffer too?

  16. Smapdi

    Is it really that much work to put together a TMIP? I’d think it would be an easier feature, since you already have the pictures, and comment thumbs-ups to help find good ones. As a feature it seems to be kind of fading. Just wondering.

  17. Um, you folks do realize Jon Stewart is a comedian? Right?
    It’s easy to LOOK like a slapdown when you’ve got “it’s only comedy” in your back pocket.
    Meanwhile, your gay crackhead President is dismantling your country. What a bunch of fucking idiots you are.
    No surprise Fish is sucking some BLM cock here.
    There. And everywhere.

    • For people that espouse so much love for our country, you sure do have very little faith in it’s ability to survive a presidency you don’t like. This nation made it through Warren G. Harding and U.S. Grant. I think we’ll be OK after this guy too.

    • Did you watch the clip? Your constitution-ignoring St. Reagan is the one who signed the grazing fees in perpetuity bill you Fox drone.
      Goddamn mindless conservatives in this country, jesus!

      • The rich part is that “welldoneson” isn’t American, which of course means he knows fuck all about the situation, let alone the “BLM cock” he’s feverishly fantasizing about.

    • Please feel free to prove any single thing you said.
      Protip little short bus riding dipshit your opinion does not equal factual…
      Funny though how you are ok with welfare rancher cause he shares your same narrow minded world view.
      Good news is you and your ignorant ilk are dying off, bad news just not fast enough before you destroy the planet for the rest of us.

  18. Her ass has its own feed sack. This answers a lot of questions.

  19. She’s always been fat, but now she’s in the same territory as your fat-ass mother.

  20. Steven Colbert did something even more awesome: The Ballad of Cliven Bundy.


    (FYI, the Bundy claim of “ancient ancestral rights” to graze on the land dates from the incredibly ancient, medieval year of 1948, when his parents bought the ranch; cattle didn’t actually start grazing on the surrounding Federal land until 1954, 8 years after the BLM was created. Suck it, Hannity, you clown.)

    • Even if they HAD owned it, who do you think helped clear it? The US Army…that’s a GOVERNMENT organization….its job was to take all the land from the people who rightfully owned it and give it to white people. No one seems to have a problem with that.

      • Uh, massive conflation there. I get that you mean the US Army was the instrument in taking the land from its Native American owners, but you make it sound like the Army somehow “cleared” as in “overlogged”, the western territories so that now they’re scrub desert instead of forest. Way before the BLM was created in 1946, the General Land Office started providing federal land grants in 1862 to settlers, so technically, yeah, that was the government office that was responsible to handing out what was originally tribal lands to freed slaves, women and homesteading families. Later, it was in exchange for planting timber on part of that tracted acreage.

        Bundy is claiming his “Mormon ancestors” owned the land for “generations” and the BLM stole it out from under him which is why so he should have free and unfettered access to it. Since the BLM was formed two years before his parents even moved into the area, that claim, like most of his idiotic and wildly inaccurate utterances, is lame shit he pulled right out of his special snowflake bald-faced lying ass. The BLM is now seizing any of his cattle found grazing on their land – good.

  21. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim Kardashian should be on every worst dressed list, ever. She looks so uncomfortable always, and makes me uncomfortable just looking at her. Boooo.

  22. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I seriously can’t get over this outfit. How do you even walk in that shit? Who picks that out? She looks like a trash bag full of leaves.

  23. Slash

    I work with a black dude who thinks KK’s ass is hot. I don’t have a problem with liking a big ass, but her big ass isn’t hot. It’s a 50-year-old mom ass. And it looked like that before she had a kid.

    Whatever. To each his own mom ass, I guess.

  24. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She is doomed.


  25. Hunter

    I smell pee…

  26. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    She thinks she is making monocolor-ish, neutral outfits her personal “cool style”. But we know the truth. That hobbit body can’t pull off prints, or bright colors… not even black, as we can see here.

  27. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking disgusting

  28. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    that’s . just . fucking . disgusting

  29. juanhunglow

    aaahhhhh fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you for posting this shit then fuck me fo looking

  30. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Behold the incredibly deep dark shadow it casts.

  31. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    its just a wrinkled skirt. calm down.

  32. “You’re gonna need a bigger lens.”

  33. Jericho

    I GOTTA PEE !!!

  34. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    ahh shit, my ass is falling off.
    gotta readjust it


    with a fat fake ass

  36. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    Koo, koo, kaa choo walrus!

  37. Kim Kardashian Huge Disgusting Fat Ass Wrinkled Skirt Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    I know their ‘Sell By” date is long expired, but how do they keep going on? They all have too short, fat legs. Peasant feet, man hands with short, strong fingers. Kim’s face now looks like a Claymation figure. But no talent or redeeming qualities. Can’t act, sing, dance, etc. The peak of their fame came when they sniffed each other’s crotches on their cable show. The bitches at the dog pound do it too, but they don’t even have an agent. They’ve vacuumed the pocket change out of Food Stamp America. What can they do next but go away?

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