Kanye West Wants Kim Kardashian To Stop Being An International Hooker

March 5th, 2014 // 39 Comments
Did Someone Say Hookers?
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“Now that my lovely assistant Betsy Bovine has gathered you all here, let’s kill The Bat! Wack! WACK-WACK-WACK-WACK!”

Last week, Kim Kardashian accepted $500,000 of Richard Lugner‘s money to be his date to Vienna’s annual Opera Ball because her mother raised her to be a prostitute, and I can’t believe I had to spell that out for you. Except there’s the matter of being engaged to Kanye West who, for some odd reason is pissed that his future mother-in-law would pimp his fiance and expose her to some shithead who was paid by her john to show up in blackface. Radar reports:

“He went nuclear when Kim told him someone had used the N-word in front of her and one of the guests was dressed in blackface. It was his advice to leave right away, no questions asked.”
As we previously reported, Kardashian was paid $500,000 to be his date.
“It’s not about the money. Kanye told her no more paid appearances. It was selling her soul and not worth it. How much more money does Kim need? It cheapens Kim and her brand to be paid to go to parties,” the source added.

Of course, all this is great news if you’ve ever dreamed of seeing Kanye West get murdered by an actual pimp which is exactly how this story is going to end:

We’ve also learned momager Kris Jenner is balking at West’s new demands because she gets a percentage of the paychecks her daughter collects!
“Kris gets a 10 percent cut of all deals she brokers on behalf of Kim, which means she made $50,000 off of the Austrian appearance,” the source said.

When reached for comment, Kris Jenner told me it’s $35,000 for Kim’s underwear with no promises of it being worn or even touched by her, $50,000 to touch one of Kourtney‘s boobs but Scott Disick gets to watch, and $100,000 for 45 seconds with Kylie in a canoe on international waters. I told her I only had $20 which is apparently enough for a Sasquatch-job, and I’m still not ready to talk about that. In fact, forget I even brought it up. DON’T LOOK AT ME!

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Kanye must be one dumb shithead if he thinks anyone in that family has a concept of “enough money.”

  2. Also motherfucking LOL at any Kardashian having a “soul.” Seriously, joke of the century right there.

  3. The Dude

    Whoa – Kayne, the voice of reason and sanity?

    • Yea he’s so reasonable he fathered a child with Kim when she’d been basically doing anything and everything for money for years now. He loves the attention too, just another asshole with delusions of grandeur.

      • I mean, did you see that fucking ludicrous engagement special? Yeah Kanye suuuure hates all those cameras and people and selling out their “private” moments as a couple. Fuck. Him.

  4. JC

    I like that Kanye went “nuclear” because someone was in blackface, not because his mother-in-law-to-be runs a Rental Cow business and his fiance is Livestock of the Month, every month.

    • anonymous

      Yeah apparently it’s okay to bang Kim for a couple nights for $500K but you don’t pretend to be black and say the n-word.

  5. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    The Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim has a bigger plastic smile posing with Mr. Peanut than she does with her fiance.

    Karma.

  6. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Call me crazy, but every time I see her lately, I think to myself “Wow, Octomom is really getting her shit together.”

  7. Got engaged to a whore, gets upset when she whores. How is Kanye not a member of Mensa yet?

    • Maybe he’ll get into an even worse car accident and we won’t ever have to hear from him again.

    • I mean he literally wrote the book, so to speak on Gold Diggers, definitely wrote the song, and then knocked up and got engaged to literally the biggest gold digger on the planet, WTF?

  8. K.K.

    Let’s see…botox…thick layer of makeup to cover the skin problems…couple of PSI in the boob that keeps deflating since pregnancy…5 layers of spanx…socket wrench to crank that straining butt implant back up…nasal whine-o-matic on in case I need to talk…Ok, I’m ready for my date with Richie McShrivelpene!

  9. malaka

    well.. i gotta give at least some credit to the genius gay fish here.
    at least it isn’t ALL about the money for him.

    i mean.. assuming he has any credibility whatsoever.

  10. Hey look, it’s The Penguin and Fatgirl.

  11. Cock Dr

    Don’t shut the Kardashians out of the growing international marketplace for Ass of Overaccesorized Cow. For some old rich white men it is the ultimate delicacy.

  12. The irony that Kanye recorded Golddigger” and ended up engaged to KK is not lost on me. But it is lost on Kanye.

  13. “It cheapens Kim and her brand to be paid to go to parties”.

    I don’t even know where to start with that comment.

  14. Cher X

    KIM cheapens Kim. And her brand. Which is cheap.

  15. And behind her left shoulder, Vladimir Putin is devising his next invasion of Kardashianbigassastan.

  16. 1-900-URINE-ADDICT

    Please, help send Kim to Peehab. She is addicted to getting pissed on, and this will not stop just because she is getting married. She will actively seek out other semi-famous black men to urinate all over her writhing naked body & fat ass. Please get her the help she needs now before it’s too late.

  17. Here is why Kanye is upset:

    Kim’s “brand” is being getting peed on by dudes on film. Obviously it is going to take a SUPER long time for this old guy to get any kind of steady stream going, so this video would be unsellable unless they juiced up the ol’ codger with a few cans of Ensure™ a few hours before the date.

  18. That you could convince yourself there was still a way to further cheapen Kim Kardashian probably says a lot about how you manage to be with her in the first place. Just close your eyes, hold your nose and pretend she’s someone else.

  19. It cheapens her? She cheapens herself.

  20. Ralph

    The Kardashian’s ability to market and sell themselves apparently has no limits. Baby North is in trouble. It’s only a matter of time till Mama Cow (Kris) convinces Fat Cow (Kim) to utilize North’s full potential. It has actually already started with the name “North West”.

    Mooo

  21. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    Will the Penguin show the media whore his ‘flipper trick’?
    Tune in next week…Same Bat time, Same bat channel!

  22. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    Commented on this photo:

    The wax statue at Madame Tussauds shows more emotion , costs less and has more interesting things to say.

  23. B.B

    I have never seen somebody with such dead looking eyes. I almost feel sorry for her being raised by such a money-hungry immoral mother.

  24. Robb7

    Circus freaks — all of ‘em!

  25. Piper

    I always figured Rich Uncle Pennybag’s favorite playing piece would be the little dog, not the wheelbarrow.

  26. Bob

    “It cheapens Kim and her brand to be paid to go to parties,”???
    Is that even possible?!

  27. jt

    i thought cheapening kim’s brand is what made her rich?

  28. Does Kanye even comprehend what kind of family He has gotten himself involved in? WHORING is what they do, and it is all they live for and think about.

  29. Kim Kardashian Richard Lugner Kris Jenner Vienna Opera Ball
    OhMyGoodness!!!!
    Commented on this photo:

    Kim, This poor man paid you $500,000 to escort him to a very high class event. “THE VIENNA BALL”, and you dressed in see-thru clothing that made you look like a “paid escort”. Couldn’t you for once dress decently? It’s no wonder the high society people who attended this soiree looked at you as tho you were a lady of ill repute. You certainly looked like one. You should give this gentleman his money back. Was Kris an escort also, or was she being friendly because she’s looking for someone with lots and lots of money? She didn’t look so hot herself that night.

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