Kim Kardashian’s Proposal Also Being Televised. Of Course.

June 2nd, 2011 // 241 Comments

So, Kris Humphries is from Krypton. Is that how this works?

The new promo for the sixth season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was just released and, of course, it features Kris Humphries proposing to Kim Kardashian in front of the cameras while they were in Mexico (above) because why would this have been anything but a scripted plot point for the television show? And if it wasn’t, then this happened and Kris Humphries is an ass-whipped moron. (And before some says, “I think you mean pussy-whipped,” do I? Do I really?)

KIM: Why are there goddamn flowers all over the bed?
KRIS: *gets down on one knee* Kim, will you marry me?
KIM: Ohmygod, what the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? You fucking propose to me without a fucking camera in the room and expect me to say yes? You fucking asshole! GOD! What the fuck?!
KRIS: Baby, baby, I’ll do it again. We’ll get the camera guys right now, I’ll be good!
KIM: See? That’s all I wanted. And a 20.5 carat ring.
KRIS: Done.

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. Kenlin

    What a midget!

  2. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    Arms aching…veins bulging…can’t hold much longer…

    I’m certain that nothing about being a professional athlete prepares a man for physical exertion of this magnitude. Lift with your legs Kris! For the love of god lift with your legs!!

  3. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Kim's Ass
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey can somebody get me a glass of piss to wash down these bikini bottoms?

  4. hot rod

    Someone please take them out

  5. He looks like he’s about to plant a flag and claim this beach in the name of the United States of HugeAssia.

  6. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Hugh Jass
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s booty-ful

  7. philipp

    so he can tap that ass every day? sounds like a win to me

  8. Cardinal Fang

    Her ass looks like diapers with a load in them.

  9. wishbone

    God what an awful body she has…

  10. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    This is obviously real and unscripted…else Kim never would have violated her “never turn ass towards cameras” rule.

    • Sharkbait

      Nah, she just realized that she was becoming less relevant and let some pictures “slip”

    • timmy the dying boy

      Word, I was just thinking the same thing. Too bad she forgot, that thing is getting more and more terrifying.

  11. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    At times like this I want to thank the army of women it takes to remove enough hair for me to wear this bikini. It was a week well spent, ladies!

    Love, Kim

  12. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Ooops. Asszilla tried to swallow them again!

  13. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    philipp
    Commented on this photo:

    omg her ass is as big as her torso!

  14. IreneWienne

    What a train wreck. I am just disgusted.

  15. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    It had to be said
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey Kris, you broke it, you bought it. Good luck.

  16. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    The thing’s hollow—it goes on forever—and—oh my God—it’s full of stars!

  17. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    LOL
    LOL
    LOL
    LOL
    LOL

  18. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Click on “View Full Size”.
    I dare ya!

  19. cc

    I’ve a lot more respect for Kardashians now that I realize they are the sole living descendants of a lost tribe of Armenian pygmies.

  20. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    TurkusMaximus
    Commented on this photo:

    airbrushed to hell!

  21. Rancid

    It is so dangerous lifting such a bulky, uneven load like that. He should have a back brace and a fork lift to be hauling shit like that.

  22. NTT

    Ok I believe those are cheek implants now. I wasn’t so sure until I saw this.

  23. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    TurkusMaximus
    Commented on this photo:

    airbrushed to hell! look how unnaturally smooth her thighs are.

  24. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    J. Everett
    Commented on this photo:

    This looks like that pic of Bieber & Selena Gomez…in a Funhouse Mirror.

  25. JC

    He was just on his way to dip her in the ocean…to rinse all of the urine off.

  26. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    JL
    Commented on this photo:

    I like big asses but that things just gross looking

  27. Clarence Beeks

    I can’t believe anyone finds that lumpy, huge ass attractive.

    • bj

      No doubt. It looks like it should be on a woman twice her size. And, once it comes unglued, lookout! That will be one sloppy mess o’ tater salad.

      • mel

        agreed. i’ll bet the stench that falls out of her cornwagon when she logs out is enough to peel the paint off her bathroom walls. big, lumpy asses like hers no doubt create some of the foulest aromas known to humanity. what the fuck are black dudes (or this white nimrod) thinking? your cock would reek for days even being in the presence of that leviathan and her obese turd factory!

    • Aussie Mama

      I’m with ya man! It’s like some repulsive big old lady
      ass!

  28. WOW, now put her on your cock and spin her around like a little toy!

  29. rican

    This is all relative, this fat ass woman has to be with a giant to qualify as a spinner. To every normal man she’s a slapper.

  30. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Lo
    Commented on this photo:

    are these pictures Photoshopped? I’m sure her ass would have more cottage cheese than that…

  31. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Commented on this photo:

    Nom nom nom nom nom…me like green panty things! Me eat many more before village people return with pitchforks and fire! Fire bad!!

  32. When did they add the ass-lift to the Strongest Man competition? He’d better slow down, or he’s not going to have enough energy for the Atlas stones.

  33. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Cardinal Fang
    Commented on this photo:

    Don’t mistake my criticizing a woman for Iwouldn’tfuckherism

  34. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Diane
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is FABULOUS! Totally jealous.

  35. cc

    Every chair in her house is, at a minimum, a love seat.

  36. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Squirmy
    Commented on this photo:

    Geez you’re gonna lose an arm!

  37. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    AC
    Commented on this photo:

    First you think it’s a picture of him lifting her up, and then you realize it’s a picture of him keeping her tethered to this planet, as her ass aspires to transcending this planet’s gravity and establishing its own orbit. It also explains the size of the rock he got her.

  38. Venom

    I bet that nasty fake ass of hers weighs almost as much as the rest of her body.

  39. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    Appearing on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter…Kim ‘The Heavy Bag’ Kardashian (actually, just her ass).

  40. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Sunny
    Commented on this photo:

    Her ass is still bigger, and he’s 2ft taller…

  41. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    anonymoose
    Commented on this photo:

    ACK! i can totally see the photoshopping of the backs of her thighs! these 2 should just go join a circus and get out of our way.

  42. Dan

    Knowing everything publicly available about Kim Kardashian, what rational male would think to themselves, ya know, I think I am going to date this woman. Much less propose to her.

    There is something else going on here…

    or he is INSANE.

    • rican

      Well, I would do what Ray J did – screw her brains out, piss on her then dump her. If I had to propose to do it, I would.

  43. Gadeval

    WTF man…..WTF. How is he able to lift her and just not crumple into dust.

  44. anonymoose

    These 2 circus freaks deserve each other.

  45. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Sexxxy Mami
    Commented on this photo:

    Did they only photoshop the right leg? Look at the left butt cheek where it meets her thight. Nasty! Her ass looks like a bag of wet laundry.

  46. Gadeval

    I also must say that at first that first picture kind of freaks me out. It looks like a guy holding a little girl almost.

  47. MarkM

    Why would he propose to her? I always thought “Hulk only want be left alone!”

  48. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Sexxxy Mami
    Commented on this photo:

    *thigh

  49. balls

    Awww. I think they are a really cute couple.

  50. Kim Kardashian Bikini Kris Humphries
    Jillia
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, that is a painfully obvious photoshop job.

    Her ass just looks plain ridiculous here. I’m all for some curvy butt, but this is too much. But i gotta say, the ones where he’s holding her in the green bikini it looks tasty. ;p

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