So, Kris Humphries is from Krypton. Is that how this works?
The new promo for the sixth season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was just released and, of course, it features Kris Humphries proposing to Kim Kardashian in front of the cameras while they were in Mexico (above) because why would this have been anything but a scripted plot point for the television show? And if it wasn’t, then this happened and Kris Humphries is an ass-whipped moron. (And before some says, “I think you mean pussy-whipped,” do I? Do I really?)
KIM: Why are there goddamn flowers all over the bed?
KRIS: *gets down on one knee* Kim, will you marry me?
KIM: Ohmygod, what the fuck? Seriously, what the fuck? You fucking propose to me without a fucking camera in the room and expect me to say yes? You fucking asshole! GOD! What the fuck?!
KRIS: Baby, baby, I’ll do it again. We’ll get the camera guys right now, I’ll be good!
KIM: See? That’s all I wanted. And a 20.5 carat ring.
KRIS: Done.
Photos: Splash News
What a midget!
not a midget.. he just almost 7ft tall
Kim: “Nice! Now let’s pose for one where my giant ass is lifting YOU!”
Looks like he’s picking up his 14 year old girlfriend.
. . . .who happens to have one large ass
Actually, she is a midget. 5’1″. Kourtney is only 4’11″.
Kim is 5’2.5″ and Kourtney is 5’0″, so actually, neither of them are midgets.
her ass still looks fucking HUGE
Arms aching…veins bulging…can’t hold much longer…
I’m certain that nothing about being a professional athlete prepares a man for physical exertion of this magnitude. Lift with your legs Kris! For the love of god lift with your legs!!
LOL!
Dude, she is TINY! Look at how small her waist is and her arms and legs in comparison … Seriously, it’s only her ass that is big. She’s a small girl.
Hey can somebody get me a glass of piss to wash down these bikini bottoms?
Someone please take them out
Nothing is sacred in that family. How pathetic.
He looks like he’s about to plant a flag and claim this beach in the name of the United States of HugeAssia.
Oh, that was the funniest thing! Thank you for that.
hahahahahah
She’s booty-ful
so he can tap that ass every day? sounds like a win to me
Deepwater Horizon wouldn’t be able to tap that ass.
NICE!
In 10 years time that ass is going to be twice in size. Beware of girls in their 20′s who have gigantic asses. It only goes downhill from there.
I don’t know about that… I was always a little bit heavier than the skinny girls when I was young. Now I am much thiner than them because very early on I had to get used to watching what I eat!
She is so fake from head to toe. Plus why is the profile of her stomach as wide as his? What a girthy chick.
Her ass looks like diapers with a load in them.
2 loads
I see your two loads and raise another shitload
imagine what the wash rag looks like after she takes a nice swipe of that cavernous crack…
Like Khloe’s face.
God what an awful body she has…
Snooki and her are gravitating *ha* toward a rather unattractive mean.
This is obviously real and unscripted…else Kim never would have violated her “never turn ass towards cameras” rule.
Nah, she just realized that she was becoming less relevant and let some pictures “slip”
Word, I was just thinking the same thing. Too bad she forgot, that thing is getting more and more terrifying.
At times like this I want to thank the army of women it takes to remove enough hair for me to wear this bikini. It was a week well spent, ladies!
Love, Kim
Ooops. Asszilla tried to swallow them again!
omg her ass is as big as her torso!
…and has more grey matter than her brain.
What a train wreck. I am just disgusted.
Hey Kris, you broke it, you bought it. Good luck.
that thing was broke long before Kris got to it. I saw video of it.
huh???????
back when she made the porn tape this chick was super hot and didn’t have the big ass that she does now.
Hell yeah, I’ll fuck the shitttt outtaaa that asss mmmmm
The thing’s hollow—it goes on forever—and—oh my God—it’s full of stars!
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
LOL
Click on “View Full Size”.
I dare ya!
Dammit…my computer exploded!
I’ve a lot more respect for Kardashians now that I realize they are the sole living descendants of a lost tribe of Armenian pygmies.
airbrushed to hell!
It is so dangerous lifting such a bulky, uneven load like that. He should have a back brace and a fork lift to be hauling shit like that.
he may be a meathead but he can lift her and selena at once and still kick sand in beiber’s face
Ok I believe those are cheek implants now. I wasn’t so sure until I saw this.
hydrogel injections
Absolutely, at long last we KNOW it’s fake … for sure … just like everything else on her, except maybe her eyeballs, they might be real …
airbrushed to hell! look how unnaturally smooth her thighs are.
Absolutely agree. This is crap
she got cellulite removal, idiots
The same day you had your brain removal??
Yep. That section on her right thigh looks silly. The color is off and it looks flat. Bang up photoshop job!
This looks like that pic of Bieber & Selena Gomez…in a Funhouse Mirror.
@j. everett: lmao!
He was just on his way to dip her in the ocean…to rinse all of the urine off.
URINE…ok…uhmmm..eww, or something…?
I like big asses but that things just gross looking
I can’t believe anyone finds that lumpy, huge ass attractive.
No doubt. It looks like it should be on a woman twice her size. And, once it comes unglued, lookout! That will be one sloppy mess o’ tater salad.
agreed. i’ll bet the stench that falls out of her cornwagon when she logs out is enough to peel the paint off her bathroom walls. big, lumpy asses like hers no doubt create some of the foulest aromas known to humanity. what the fuck are black dudes (or this white nimrod) thinking? your cock would reek for days even being in the presence of that leviathan and her obese turd factory!
I’m with ya man! It’s like some repulsive big old lady
ass!
WOW, now put her on your cock and spin her around like a little toy!
Now put your body in a cast for a crushed pelvis!
This is all relative, this fat ass woman has to be with a giant to qualify as a spinner. To every normal man she’s a slapper.
are these pictures Photoshopped? I’m sure her ass would have more cottage cheese than that…
I think they were, it definitely looks like somebody went overboard/doesn’t know how to use photoshop.
No Way!! That’s is her huge ass!! No photoshop there.
Nom nom nom nom nom…me like green panty things! Me eat many more before village people return with pitchforks and fire! Fire bad!!
When did they add the ass-lift to the Strongest Man competition? He’d better slow down, or he’s not going to have enough energy for the Atlas stones.
Hahahaha
Don’t mistake my criticizing a woman for Iwouldn’tfuckherism
Her ass is FABULOUS! Totally jealous.
Her ass is hideous, fat and gross as can be.
Big garbage bag full of cottage cheese. “the words of Paris Hilton”…. and me.
Huh ? Jealous of a bunch (a whole fucking bunch) of, er, re-allocated fat ??? Gah …
Every chair in her house is, at a minimum, a love seat.
Geez you’re gonna lose an arm!
First you think it’s a picture of him lifting her up, and then you realize it’s a picture of him keeping her tethered to this planet, as her ass aspires to transcending this planet’s gravity and establishing its own orbit. It also explains the size of the rock he got her.
Haha. Yes.
I bet that nasty fake ass of hers weighs almost as much as the rest of her body.
Appearing on the next season of The Ultimate Fighter…Kim ‘The Heavy Bag’ Kardashian (actually, just her ass).
Her ass is still bigger, and he’s 2ft taller…
ACK! i can totally see the photoshopping of the backs of her thighs! these 2 should just go join a circus and get out of our way.
worst. photoshop job. ever.
Knowing everything publicly available about Kim Kardashian, what rational male would think to themselves, ya know, I think I am going to date this woman. Much less propose to her.
There is something else going on here…
or he is INSANE.
Well, I would do what Ray J did – screw her brains out, piss on her then dump her. If I had to propose to do it, I would.
WTF man…..WTF. How is he able to lift her and just not crumple into dust.
These 2 circus freaks deserve each other.
Did they only photoshop the right leg? Look at the left butt cheek where it meets her thight. Nasty! Her ass looks like a bag of wet laundry.
I also must say that at first that first picture kind of freaks me out. It looks like a guy holding a little girl almost.
Why would he propose to her? I always thought “Hulk only want be left alone!”
*thigh
Awww. I think they are a really cute couple.
Wow, that is a painfully obvious photoshop job.
Her ass just looks plain ridiculous here. I’m all for some curvy butt, but this is too much. But i gotta say, the ones where he’s holding her in the green bikini it looks tasty. ;p
Hahahhahaha, photoshop is everywhere..in hands of anyone