Yup, this is happening.
Kim Kardashian posted a message to her fans on her official website last night where she actually attempts to sell two very large piles of shit: 1. That she really loved Kris Humphries, but only married him because she didn’t want to disappoint all the people counting on the wedding. Read: Her mom already sold the hell out of this thing which brings us to shit-pile #2: Kim didn’t make any money from the wedding. A lie that Kris Jenner also repeated this morning on The Today Show:
Jenner also debunked the rumor that E! bought the rights to the wedding for a reported $17.9 million. That’s just not the case, Jenner insisted. “One of the rumors is that we sold the television rights for millions of dollars — not true. We profited, she profited from the wedding? Absolutely false,” said Jenner.
When pressed about how much money Kardashian and Humphries made, Jenner clarified somewhat. “They made some money for the pictures that were sold and things like that, but at the end of the day, that money went towards the wedding and Kim had to pay a great deal of money (for the balance of the wedding). We don’t sell television rights.” (Pressed even further, Jenner said that photo rights were sold for “Less than a million, more than half a million dollars.”)
Pressed even further, Jenner admitted she has to blow Satan when this all over.
On that note, I’m posting the entire text of Kim’s message after the jump because she literally asks her fans to respect her “courage” while simultaneously requesting people stop calling her wedding the blatant scam she made it look like because she couldn’t stop being in front of a camera for a few months to even pretend to sell this thing. But apparently that counts as courage on Whore Island. Who knows?
This is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. I see all of the support and I am so thankful for my fans, friends and family who are helping me through this difficult time.
I am trying not to read all the different media reports but it’s hard not to see all the negative ones. First and foremost, I married for love. I can’t believe I even have to defend this. I would not have spent so much time on something just for a TV show! I share so much of my life on a reality show, that contemplating whether to even film my wedding was a tough decision to make, and maybe it turned out to not be the smartest decision. But it’s who I am! We filmed Kourtney giving birth, Khloe getting married, break ups, make ups, our best moments and our worst moments. These were all real moments. That’s what makes us who we are. We share, we give, we love and we are open!
Everyone that knows me knows that I’m a hopeless romantic! I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to disappoint a lot of people.
I’m being honest here and I hope you respect my courage because this isn’t easy to go through. But I do know that I have to follow my heart. I never had the intention of hurting anybody and I accept full responsibility for my actions and decisions, and for taking everyone on this journey with me. It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.
There are also reports that I made millions of dollars off of the wedding. These reports are simply not true and it makes me so sad to have to even clarify this. I’m so grateful to everyone who took the time to come to my wedding and I’ll be donating the money for all the gifts to the Dream Foundation.
I’m sorry if I have hurt anyone, but my dad always told me to follow my heart and I believe now that I really am.
Yeah, you guys. The lawyer who helped O.J. get away with murder would’ve approved. What the fuck’s your problem?
UPDATE: Apparently Kris Humphries didn’t get the memo.