Kim Kardashian Broke Kris Humphries’ Parent’s Marriage, Too

Probably because they made a son stupid enough to think Kim Kardashian wouldn’t screw him over the second she needed a new storyline for her show, Kris Humphries’ parents are getting a divorce which I’m also going to blame being exposed to Kris Jenner for because she’s fucking Satan. These poor people never stood a chance is what I’m trying to say here. TMZ reports:

According to documents filed in Minnesota, Kris’ mom Debra filed for divorce from husband William earlier this month. The couple has three adult children — Kris and his two older sisters, Krystal and Kaela.
There will be some serious burger money up for grabs in the split — William owns several Five Guys Burgers and Fries restaurants throughout Minnesota.

In all seriousness, I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on here: Kim Kardashian’s ass increases in size each time someone around her gets a divorce. Why else do you think her sister Kourtney won’t marry Scott Disick? Not counting he’s an over-entitled effeminate alcoholic who would bang her mom for a buck, he has a thing for Kim and he used to film himself having sex with passed out chicks so he’s technically a rapist. So besides all that, it’s the butt thing, right?

Photo:s Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet