Welcome to the magical time between Christmas and New Year’s when The Superficial lazily rehashes all the posts you sick sons of bitches couldn’t get enough of. This year, in lieu of a Top 10, we’ve decided to break it down by the best post of each month so we can all relive the joy and majesty of 2011, and more importantly, give me an extra two posts to phone in so I can sit around thumbing my Christmas loot.
JUNE
Entirely because I posted it with canned beach photos of Kris Humphries somehow lifting Kim Kardashian‘s two ton ass in defiance of Earth’s gravity, the completely non-surprising news that their engagement conveniently occurred in time to air on the sixth season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was the top post in June. And looking back at these photos after all that’s happened these past few months, I can’t help but feel nostalgic for the more innocent days of only 75% of the world thinking Kim Kardashian is full of shit instead of 99%. Maybe that makes me something of a hipster, but dammit, things were cooler back then. Now making fun of Kim is all mainstream when it used to be about the pee jokes. *cracks open PBR, matches Go-Bot belt buckle with skinny jeans and He-Man T-shirt* Who’s dressed like a man now, dad?!
Posted: 6.2.2011
Original Post: Kim Kardashian’s Proposal Also Being Televised. Of Course.
Posted: 6.20.2011
Original Post: Steven Spielberg Fired Megan Fox From Transformers, And She’s in a Bikini
Photos: Flynet, GSI Media, Splash News
I bet Kris’ ass is very tasty! Mmmm
to bad they haven’t covered in that KimKleaked.com sex tape
He looks happy, she’s posing with that awful phony frozen face. Anyone surprised this didn’t work?
There’s a difference between this frozen face and the one she usually makes; in this picture the mouth isn’t open. Therefore, I assumed he wouldn’t be getting any.
These should be called most quoted, most clicked but definitely not the “Best” of 2011. If you want the “Best” then please forget Kuntrashian and Blohan and post non-famewhore bikini pics.
he probly didn’t even get to bang her…
Dear America: you guys claim to be the most powerful nation in the world yet you allow yourselves to be taken in by this fat-assed bitch and her pimp mother and whore sisters. prove to the world that you are powerful again and destroy this twat!! she and her family are like a disease that is infecting the world. IT MUST BE DESTROYED BEFORE IT’S TO LATE. sign petitions and threaten networks and stores with boycotts if they have anything to do with these dregs of society. they are destroying your culture.
You’re way off. They are a *product* of the destruction of any semblance of morals in our culture. The atheists are getting their wish.
Religion has nothing to do with it.
Morality and American Christianity have nothing in common. If you actually read the bible, Jesus taught Charity, tolerance, and lived a life of poverty. In other words, he was the very model of “communist” that the Christian right is accusing our current government of being in our current situation. The Christys would much rather have the poor and elderly die instead of “gettin’ any that socialized medicine”. Christianity is probably the most immoral religion on the face of the earth. That includes the “Satanists”.
I would love to eat that asshole out……Kris!
I hope lurch got part of the fake wedding money. That aside, her disgusting ass is huge! It must take forever to cut out the dingle berries!
That ass is lumpy and huge ans GROSS.
I knew this shit was fake when it was first posted.
She has the ass of an Amazon woman and the body of a 5 ft tall woman.
How could anything with the Kardashians involved in it possibly have “best” in the title? Only when they die in a fiery plane crash should “best” be in the title of the story.
Her ass is really disgusting! His, on the other hand, looks good enough to eat! Yeah baby yeah!
In a demonstration of super human strength, NBA Star Kris Humphries, saved a baby elephant from quicksand in Malibu.
I wonder….does her ass have a mouth & teeth?
in a million years, an advanced civilization will find her carcass and study the fossilized dingleberrys, left in her ass crack for eons; to further understand the diet of primative humans.
that ass is so fake lol
I can’t believe people think its real hahhaha
her ass aside: STOP THIS CIRCUS, folks!!
I have two comments:
1. This wasn’t cute when “Bennifer” was doing it. Blech.
2. That is one hardcore chin Kris has. He should engage in chin battle with Reese Witherspoon– I’d pay to watch it.
She hasn’t had ass implants. What she has done is have fat from her thighs injected into her ass. That’s why nothing shows up on xrays. Unfortunately, the day will come when gravity takes over and that injected fat will travel back to her thighs.
Wow, there was so much FAIL in this story that it’ll probably take all of 2012 just to get rid of the taste.
His chin implant is being attracted by a huge gravitational force!
OK this thing is so fake, they honestly think we don;t notice this like we were suppose not notice Michael Jackson nose
She’s got the hungriest ass in town!