Yesterday, Kim Kardashian threatened to sue InTouch after they ran an interview with New England Patriots safety Bret Lockett who claimed she cheated on Kris Humphries with him. This prompted Bret to call into TMZ and claim he has “concrete proof” to back up the story:
Lockett claims he has phone records, text messages and very personal cell phone pics of Kim — and if push comes to shove, he’s willing to present the evidence in court.
I like how Bret goes through the trouble of describing all the evidence he has to prove Kim is lying when all he needs to say is, “I’m black and drink a lot of Gatorade.” You don’t even need a lawyer at that point.
JUDGE: Mr. Lockett, I see you’re an African American male with functioning genitalia.
BRET: I am, your honor.
JUDGE: You win.