Kim Kardashian’s Addicted To Breastfeeding

June 24th, 2013 // 47 Comments
North West
Kim Kardashian Kanye West
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In the wake of North West‘s carefully-orchestrated birth, there’ve been tons of stories floating around about Kim Kardashian, so per my duties as a journalist, I’m sticking to the one that will capture America’s heart. TMZ reports:

Kim Kardashian’s breasts have swelled to a record-sized G-CUP following her pregnancy — and sources close to the reality star tell TMZ, she LOVES whipping out her massive new mammaries for baby-suckling time.
Sources tell us, Kim’s taking to motherhood like a newborn to a nipple — in fact, she actively looks forward to her “feedings” with baby North West.

Granted, the pics above are from April and already Kim looked like she had to be careful around sharp corners, so I can understand the need to empty those things as quickly as possible. That said, TMZ points out Kim once tweeted this in 2010:

EWW Im at lunch,the woman at the table next 2 me is breast feeding her baby w no coverup then puts baby on the table and changes her diaper

Although, again in Kim’s defense (Twice in one post. I’m getting soft.), it probably feels nice to have someone pay attention to her breasts for once let alone realize she even has them. “Hold up, girl, I didn’t know you had an ass upfront, too. And it feeds babies? Damn. What else you hiding up here… a vagina?! Get the fuck out.”

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. Kel

    I’m not surprised…milking comes natural to cows.

    • Parker

      Exactly, and I heard cows actually feel pain if they don’t get milked so it probably goes something like this:

      “Mooo”
      “Uh-oh, someone needs milking. Where’s the calf?”
      “Mooo-hoo-hoo”
      “Come on people, she’s in pain.”
      “I can’t find it. Do you suppose….?”
      “Oh crap, stand her up, someone”
      “Yeah, she sat on it. Here it is. It got stuck in her ass.”
      “Moo!”
      “Slap it. Not her, the calf. Ok good, color’s coming back.”
      “People, you don’t leave the baby with the mother. She’s just a dumb animal. When it’s done suckling, put it back in its pen”
      “Mooooo.”
      “Yeah, that’s right, Kim. You like that don’t you girl? That baby’s gonna grow up to be big and strong like a Wookie.”
      “Hey it looks like something else is stuck in her ass. Kinda dark, can’t make it out, wait…yeah it’s Kayne. Poor bastard.”
      “Is he…?”
      “Yeah, pull him out but don’t let her see him. She might stampede.”

  2. yourmom

    Also…. breast feeding burns like a bajillion calories a day. She’s working that weight watchers deal. It’s all about the dollar bills.

  3. jules

    For new mothers, breast feeding is an excellent way to bond with your new HAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahaaaaa!! Money. This is about money. Or fame, which = money.

  4. Kel

    Coming soon to a supermarket near you….Kardashian
    Kolostrum!

  5. sounds like someone just found out that Lactation Fetish videos sell really good…oops, I meant “breast feeding home movies” frequently get stolen and sold to unscrupulous studios.

  6. Breast feeding I don’t care about, but you do not change your baby’s dirty fucking diaper on a restaurant table where other people will eventually be eating. Fuck you and your stupid baby.

  7. G-cup? That kid won’t know her mother has a face until she’s weaned.

  8. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    Give it a couple years. That kid will be wandering around Hollywood like January Jones’s kid, asking vending machines, “Are you my mommy?”

  9. Nursing mama

    I call bullshit. Considering the age if that baby, right now her nipples are at best painfully sore and at worst cracked and bleeding. No one loves breast feeding in the beginning.

  10. Techman

    I thought women with implants shouldn’t breast feed?

  11. In her defense (and I cannot stand this woman) breastfeeding is actually pretty awesome ;)
    I breastfed my 3 kids (public breastfeeding included..I´m in Europe and it´s completely normal to see) and I loved it too.
    It´s alot more than just feeding your baby..it´s the closeness,the bonding and the warm feeling of knowing you are your babys #1 source of comfort and nourishment.
    I breastfed one of my kids for over 5 years…as I said,it´s totally normal here.What is it with America and boobs? o.0

    • I’m and American and I think boobs are the greatest thing since…well, everything. But we have this moralistic, religious attitude that anything that involves our bodies and sex is somehow degenerate and perverted, except when it comes to making babies and even that has specific rules laid down by the Church. Humans want what others try to tell them they cannot have and that why we’re so nuts in our attitudes toward sex. Fucking religion. You can’t hardly breathe.

    • 5 fucking years?!? I don’t care what you say, that shit is not normal. If they’re old enough to ask for it (and perhaps argue back or throw in a joke) they are too old to get it. Gross!

    • Mos

      Wow. 5 years?
      And this made me want to puke; “the warm feeling of knowing you are your baby’s #1 source of comfort and nourishment.”
      Get a life and go see a shrink. Everything you just wrote about letting your 5 year old kids suck on your tits is sexual. Did you get turned on by seeing people watch your kids play with your tits in public? Gross. Stay in Spain.

  12. anonym

    her milk has da AIDS

  13. When the milk is gone those things are gonna hang down to her belly button. (until the plastic surgery).

  14. So the baby’s supposedly 4 lbs something oz because it arrived so dangerously early that it has to be in an incubator, yet Kim’s already home and breastfeeding it? God, the unending stream of bullshit never stops, does it?

  15. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Weight Gain
    Commented on this photo:

    We built this city…
    We built this city on rock-and-roll
    Built this city…

  16. Fact: Within two months, Kim’s mom will release a report that a bottle of Kim’s pumped-out breast milk was stolen from a refrigerator in a hotel room where Kim was staying. She will get all indignant about who would do such a thing, all the while hoping the internet lights up with fake e-bay listings for Kim’s excretion.

  17. Jazzy Jeff

    Calling bullshit on the breastfeeding with those fake titties.

    • Heather

      You can breastfeed with implants. A good implant is put behind the muscle so it doesn’t hinder breastfeeding or milk production in any way. Your boobs get bigger than they normally would during pregnancy with implants. Case in point, Kim’s rack.

  18. I guarantee that “North” had the same horrified expression as Stewie, when he realized that Peter was breastfeeding him. One of Kim’s nipple hairs probably got stuck in her mouth too.

  19. Abbie Hoffman

    As a fan of Jefferson Airplane/Starship and classic rock in general I take offence to that.
    Grace Slick is extremely talented. In addition to singing she played several different instrerments and composed. The song “White Rabbit”, which made Rolling Stone’s list of top 500 greatest songs of all time, was written by Grace.

    Kim on the other hand is known for leaking her own golden-shower & anal porno where she suckes her own turd bits off a 4th rate rapper dick. And the only insterments she’s ever played were those attached to the groin of NBA players or some other semi-famous African-American.

    Kim has NOTHING in common with Grace Jones other than they both are female (note I didn’t use the term ‘lady’).

  20. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Weight Gain
    colt13
    Commented on this photo:

    I want the G-cup pics.

  21. Jim

    Her nipples have to be the size of hubcaps.

    • When my ex was pregnant with our twin boys, I put a ruler on her areolae. They measured 4.25 inches in diameter. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…I’d love to spend a weekend with Kim Kardashian and a case of Oreos.

  22. Kim Kardashian Cleavage Fat Weight Gain
    Yoda Mann
    Commented on this photo:

    Finally, tits and ass are in proportion.

  23. That poor kid is going to suffocate or drown.

  24. Where's Dildo

    She breastfeeds for a week and is “addicted” to it, and everyone can’t wait to talk about it. I’ve been addicted to breastfeeding for 32 years and no one has said a thing. Except “help me.”

  25. Phillis

    SHE is too selfish and narcissistic to breastfeed or do anything for the baby.
    LIKE NO one EVER had a kid before .
    Who cares .
    GO away

  26. Dear Kardashians; stop pretending the name “North West” has any kind of special meaning. You named her North because of Kanye’s last name

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