Kim Kardashian Wants You To Believe She Can Fit In Kylie Jenner’s Bikini

March 13th, 2014 // 69 Comments

Here’s Kim Kardashian taking a selfie while allegedly wearing Kylie Jenner‘s bikini which tells two things. 1. Kim Kardashian is a horrible liar. And 2. She’s an even more terrible sister who basically just told 20 million people that Kylie Jenner is the size of a goddam house which is the only way Kim could fit in her clothes. Bikinis aren’t made of unstable molecules. Or are they? I’ve always wanted to touch one, but there were.. “charges.”

Photos: Instagram

superficial

  1. Just go ahead and burn that now, Kylie. Burn it and then burn whatever you burned it in.

    • MarketingMike

      ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
      Physics are a bitch.

    • Randal

      Growl folks!

      Look to the left, then look to the right. Then look to the left again. Wholesome is what Kim brings to the table, anorexic for Kylie, if she can even make it to the table to eat.

      Kim has always had a curve shaped body that even Speed Racer himself couldn’t handle behind the wheel, and she sports it in this tight fitting bathing suit of pillow proportion.

      Randal

      • oh i know

        randal, I LOVE you!!! :D

      • Asia

        Hahaha you’re kidding right? Kylie is the spitting image of Khloé. Once her teen metabolism slows down- she’ll be the biggest in the family. She’s already on her way. In just two years she looks like she’s gained 30 lbs!

  2. poop

    well now Kylie has to set her bikini on fire because of Kim’s megaherpes.

    why do they need to be in full makeup to swim?

  3. Inner Retard

    She could fit in Kylie Jenner‘s bikini. After all she didn’t qualify if it was the same bikini or the same model of bikini. I bet you could fit a cow in that bikini given large enough size… but I’m repeating myself.

  4. Cock Dr

    I saw it on the internets…it must be twu.

  5. Fucking air-headed orange lardass. That is all.

  6. Can you imagine how stretched out that thing got? The next time Kylie tried it on, it had to be like putting on a pair of Brian Dennehy’s briefs.

  7. If that suit is from the Reed Richards swimwear line, I’ll believe this.

  8. Those threads on that bikini has to be stretched to its limit, the sound its going to make when it breaks. It will sound like mooring lines on a ship snapping.

  9. Hugh G. Rection

    The only way Kim would fit into Kylie’s bikini bottom is if she wore it as a hat.

  10. Kylie Jenner Bikini
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “If loving you is wrong, I dont wanna be right!”

  11. Kylie Jenner
    Height: 5 ft 9 in or 175 cm
    Weight: 56 kg or 123.5 pounds
    Measurements
    34-26-36 in or 87-66-92 cm
    Bra Size
    34B
    Kim Kardashian
    Height: 5 ft 2½ in or 159 cm
    Weight: 61 kg or 134½ pounds
    Measurements
    34-26-39 in or 86-66-99 cm
    Bra Size
    30D
    Facts don’t LIE. One is a COW with a Yeti Ass. The other a 16 yr old. Poor BIKINI.

    • ben dover

      In what universe does Kim weight 134 1/2 pounds?

      • Complete dork moment:

        Weight is a function of gravitational pull and is distinct from mass. So on Mars, which has a gravity of 0.38 times that of Earth, KK would weigh 134.5 lb.

        For the math challenged, that means she weighs 355.5 lb on Earth.

        There’s a joke in there about fattening up for slaughter, but I’m not smart enough to make it.

      • Or have a 34-inch bust with those hideous fakers?

      • MarketingMike

        Hell, she weighed more than that when Ray J peed on her.
        She’s probably pushing 180 now, 10 years later.

    • Don’t blame the messenger as I knew something was up as COWs weight >134½ pounds Meh fucken Internet.

    • 30D? With a “34″ inch bust? Uh, you wanna rethink both of those numbers a bit?

      • That is actually possible. You’re being thrown off by the “D” cup, which isn’t really that big for a 30in band.

        If the measurement of 34″ was taken around her whole bust, and the 30″ is the measurement from around her rib cage (right under the breast), then a 4″ difference would equal a 30D.

        http://img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20121020033345/bustyresources/images/d/d4/Breast_volumes.png

      • No, actually, it isn’t. In actuality a D cup on a 30″ band IS really that big because it’s disproportionate – it’s a large amount of volume distributed over very little band width, so that the usual 4″ difference between band and D cup that you’d normally find in more average sizes is more like 5″. It’s a very hard size to find, hence the need for “sister size” charts, which is what you posted – so that if you’re actually a size 30D and can’t afford custom made bras, you might find an equivalent fit by tweaking the band/cup ratio to accommodate your breast volume. What it’s trying to tell you is that a 30D bra would be the equivalent in cup size of a 32C (i.e. if you go up a band size, you need to go down a cup size).

        And sorry, but no way in the world is Kardashian a 32C. I’m not being thrown off by anything, since I live in LA and I’ve actually stood next to her in a restaurant. She’s petite, but she was at least a 32D pre-pregnancy, and I highly doubt her ribcage has shrunk 2” since then.

      • anonymous

        She wasn’t even a 32 at her skinniest weight. She’s been at least a 34 bust since her early teens.

      • Don’t forget, 32 is the band size/dimension under the bust, it’s not the measurement around the boobs themselves. Depending on the bra, your back and shoulder proportions, etc. your band size can be as much as 2″ larger than that measurement, so I still stick to my statement that she’s certainly not less than a 32/34.

        Plus, she also has Grinchtits – that’s when you cram your frontage into a bra that’s three cup sizes too small.

    • dennis

      Why do you need the internet? Just live with an actual woman.

      Kylie is more likely a 32B and Kim is probably a 36D or DD. Kim’s ass is wider than her shoulders so it’s probably 39+ in.

  12. Kylie Jenner Bikini
    Jeeeee-zus!
    Commented on this photo:

    After and before…this is your future, Kylie Jenner

  13. Every picture Kim takes is so carefully positioned so no one knows shes actually a house. I like how in the first picture of her turned sideways she has no belly button….she’s a Photoshop magician!

  14. Kylie Jenner Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Versace Mansion so at least they can’t taint it any worse than it is already. Maybe Kim should take a walk out the front door to go get the newspaper?

  15. Kylie Jenner Bikini
    Queen Pee Whore
    Commented on this photo:

    What an envious fat cow. Talk about sibling rivalry.

  16. i wonder if it would still fit kylie after kimzilla stretched it all to h*ll…. of course she should probably wrap herself up in saran wrap before trying it on to avoid the obvious.

  17. Kylie Jenner Bikini
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey, Kylie, you’re walking kind of funny. Why you so squirmy?”

    “I don’t know what it is, but ever since I got my bikini back from Kim, my crotch is all itchy.”

  18. yoloswag

    Just too jealous because u can’t even fit in that type of bikini. just shut up and let the sister have fun. sisters share clothes together. get over it.

    • First, I’m going to slightly disagree with you on that “sisters share clothes” thing. I say slightly because yes, my sister and I can share skirts and shirts, but there is no fucking way on this green earth that I would ever stick my crotch/ass next to something that directly touched my sister’s crotch/ass first (a la bikinis).

      Second, jealousy isn’t the point. Kim just gave Kylie the worst insult she’s probably ever heard in her life, and that needs to be laughed at by the public.

      Third, I’m sure most of the people commenting don’t care that they “can’t even fit in that type of bikini” because I’m assuming the vast majority of commenters are male.

  19. Either : A) They’ve invented stretchable kevlar, because nothing weaker could hold in that ass, or, B) BULLSHIT!!

  20. anonymous

    It’s obvious both Jenner girls inherited their father’s athletic genes.

    Kim posting pics of herself trying to outwear her younger sister’s bikini is just desperate and attention seeking. But then again it’s Kim, that’s what she does.

  21. Everything about Kim Kardashian is a lie, except this. She’s a whore.

  22. sam

    i dont care if kylie is slimmer, Kim looks hot and the bikini fits her very well

  23. thelastrisk

    She looks the fool! Has anyone seen the “Family Guy” episode where Peter insists he’s not fat since he can fit in Stewie’s onesie? Yeah, that.

  24. Yeah, right and Kate Upton is a real model.

  25. Fancy Face

    Kim can absolutely fit in that bikini. After it has been bought in a MUCH larger size and then expertly stretched and altered by someone who is an expert at making parachutes and those giant tents they use in circuses. Plus, Kim’s ass can’t even fit into bikini bottoms, as witnessed in just about every picture of her giant ass ever taken. Even in her porn tape those ugly leopard print things couldn’t cover it all without showing crack. So yeah…Leave Kim alone! She can do no wrong! God I hope she doesn’t try to sell that bikini in her ebay store for $6466464 dollars. CALL CDC! SOMEONE CALL THE CDC!

  26. right

    If you only noticed kims body without the back story, you’d say she has a bangin body. Knowing she is a filthy urinal, it’s a pass.

  27. wow

    Yuck.
    Hope that someone actually washed it.
    If not, it’s ok: they already share STD for being sisters.

  28. I think I need to vanish for a while. The bullshit in this blog is already up to the top of my ankles.

  29. BlinkyTheFish

    Oh sure, she can wear it, but like that friend in high school who borrowed your favorite pair of jeans, they get returned so stretched out in the ass that you have to throw them out.

  30. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    coljack
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s weird – I thought that the elastic of the top would have constricted her torso until she couldn’t breathe. And by “thought” I mean “fantasized.”

  31. Lame

    These people are fucking sad.

    ‘Tis all.

  32. Kylie Jenner Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Vain women like Kim are just truelly repulsive. Will someone throw acid in that bitches face already! It would be an improvement. Oh and get that ugly bitch mother too

  33. lindy

    I have never seen anyone as I love with themselves as urinal Kim…tho Kanye leads the pack for me. Perfect match.

  34. You know how when you’re eating a burrito and all the stuff squeezes out? So does Kim.

  35. tk

    This is the same Kim who wants everyone to stop talking about her ass right?

  36. Lizzie

    Keezus guy’s! – isn’t it obvious that Kim Kardashian’s IQ is about at the qualifying number for AARP? She hides behind her mom for everything and if she doesn’t she makes sex tapes.

  37. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    Lizzie
    Commented on this photo:

    So sad really

  38. Still associated with Kayne= Trash

  39. Ruth Bruce Gowin

    LIzzie- You are really insulting senior citizens for no good reason, when you refer to the IQ of AARP members in relationship to Trashy Kim. Being older does not lessen one’s IQ and I’m sure many seniors still retain their above average IQs into their advanced years unless they are so unfortunate to develop Alzheimer’s or another type of dementia. Please apologize although hopefully, most seniors are too intelligent to be reading this trash anyway.

  40. Reg

    Kim will be trying on her daughters clothes to compete for attention. PATHETIC whore.

  41. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    Teds Crazy 8's
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet Kylie wore it first, cause it would be proper stretched once Fatso McHairy was finished with it

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