Shortly before tweeting photos of her giant breasts in a bikini (above), Kim Kardashian apparently decided to do her own PR this time and trick everyone into believing she’s really a deeply religious person with strong moral convictions so obviously her marriage was super serious, you guys:
I want to start a bible study group with my friends!
Let me see if I have this straight: Judaism ended up with Tila Tequila, Christianity ended up with Kim Kardashian but Islam gets fucking Liam Neeson. Jesus. Guess I’ll start reading the Koran now and save myself the rush from when our throats get punched into a life of praying to Mecca because that’s clearly the only outcome at this point. Then again, a better idea might be learning how to masturbate to pictures of woman in burqas. In fact, everyone do that. I want to keep this place open. Not that I’m too good for goat herding or anything, I just have soft, delicate hands untarnished by manual labor. You wouldn’t understand.