Kim Kardashian Wants To Start A Bible Study Now

January 31st, 2012 // 85 Comments
What Would Jesus Do?
Kim Kardashian
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Shortly before tweeting photos of her giant breasts in a bikini (above), Kim Kardashian apparently decided to do her own PR this time and trick everyone into believing she’s really a deeply religious person with strong moral convictions so obviously her marriage was super serious, you guys:

I want to start a bible study group with my friends!

Let me see if I have this straight: Judaism ended up with Tila Tequila, Christianity ended up with Kim Kardashian but Islam gets fucking Liam Neeson. Jesus. Guess I’ll start reading the Koran now and save myself the rush from when our throats get punched into a life of praying to Mecca because that’s clearly the only outcome at this point. Then again, a better idea might be learning how to masturbate to pictures of woman in burqas. In fact, everyone do that. I want to keep this place open. Not that I’m too good for goat herding or anything, I just have soft, delicate hands untarnished by manual labor. You wouldn’t understand.

Photos: Twitter, Splash News

superficial

  1. Fist Catcher

    This is just what religion needs.

  2. JC

    I know multiple Hollywood asshats have already crapped up Buddhism. What’s left? Maybe Zoroastrianism? Is that one still safe? If one of the Real Housewives of Whoretown is a Zoroastrian, please don’t tell me.

  3. adam

    Name suggestion: The Pharisees

    • Rapsutin's Evil Twin

      Whores of Babble-on? Or is that the whole family?

      This is what my brother Grigori talks about when he gets started on the end of the world. I usually tell him to be quiet and have another bottle of vodka.

  4. it had to be said

    Boy is she going to be surprised if she does that. Five or six commandments in she’s going to realize that this is not for her . . .

  5. EricLr

    Pretty sure the only thing she can read are designer labels.

  6. suck it

    what a stupid fucking whore… u aren’t fooling anyone kim

  7. Frank Burns

    It will end as soon as she figures out bible study requires reading.

  8. pretty vacant

    sorry kim.
    moses DID NOT tell ramses to “let my pee go!”
    X-kims bible study classes canceled-X

  9. Donald Trump

    This whore must live in a full-face of makeup. I’d love to see what she looks like “bare-faced” rather than “bare-assed” for once.

  10. Nanook

    Atheists – 1, Religions – 0

    • Not to worry, Fish. Atheists have a Keanu Reeves. And by “a” Keanu Reeves, I mean THE Keanu Reeves. Who has said in the past that he’s an atheist.

      But if you’re just agnostic, you have to settle for Uma Thurman, Carrie Fisher, or Antonio Banderas—ohhhhh, THAT’S why you feature him so much.

  11. Crabby Old Guy

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure that “burning bush” reference in the Old Testament wasn’t about some no-talent whore’s muff.

  12. Donald Trump

    She could always play The Whore of Babylon in the next fellowship play.

  13. jamiewithanh

    She is so irrelevant

    • Nobody's Second Cousin

      And yet there are over 50 comments on this post so far.
      They say that there is no bad publicity. If that’s true, maybe she’s not so stupid after all.
      Doesn’t make it right, and doesn’t mean it makes any damn sense, but…

  14. Jack Ketch

    Please spare us the fucking “duck face” pose and “real” tits, OK Kim ? I vomited when I saw this. You’re the most shameless vile whore EVER.

  15. jamiewithanh

    I came back just to tell everyone, I am really starting to hate seeing her face everywhere! What do you do Kim? What? If you were a model, then okay I understand the photos, but you’re not. You do absolutely NOTHING, except f*ck people – everyone. So they are black, so what! Why does anyone give a sh*t…geez! I’m right here with you Gingrich, moon colony, yup….where do I sign up? Get me off this fucking planet!

  16. whorebomb

    kris jenner’s twitter bi-line has something about being a religious woman too which is the biggest crock of shit. she’s had it since the controversy began. users is all they are.

  17. west

    This bitch needs religion but its only another attempt at good pr.Basically, it’s blasphemy.

  18. Doesn’t everyone know she’s a slut?

  19. forrest gump

    LET THE FORCE BE WITH HER, folks.

  20. LJ

    I wonder if it’s going to be a nude Bible Study Group like her nude Yoga Group.

  21. Shh… don’t tell her what the biblical meaning of “being stoned” is…

  22. I had ABC on the television the other day when I hear this: “An all-new one-hour episode of Last Man Standing with special guest Kim Kardashian!!” They’re actually promoting this. This is actually meant to draw viewers. With no talent other than self-promotion, she builds a media-fashion empire based on nothing more than a giant ass and a sex tape, and uses the institution of marriage as a piece of toilet paper to wipe said ass as she strolls to the bank to deposit $18 million from a sham wedding, yet instead of being met with contempt and ostracism, she has apparently been rewarded with mainstream cultural validation and popularity.

    I give up. It does not look like the Kardashians are going away anytime soon. We failed. This is how things are now. And yes, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

    • Felonious Monkey

      This is no surprise. Most people are idiots. How many people read or watch a Shakespeare production versus watching WWF or Nascar?
      What I don’t get is that there are a ton of women who are more attractive than this skank who have talent who’d give anything for this kind of exposure. I don’t mean sex tapes either.
      I blame Ryan Seacrest for launching this diseased whore clan or is it klan?

      • George Carlin said, “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”

        And there’s your answer.

        PS: I like Nascar and Shakespeare.

      • vekfan

        “who’d give anything for this kind of exposure. I don’t mean sex tapes either.”

        Unfortunately a sex tape, which honestly should just be called porn, is the one only currency for women to get ahead.

  23. Johnny P!

    Can’t wait ’til she has the entire Old Testament tattooed on her ass.
    And the New Testament on the other cheek.

    • it had to be said

      And the Book of Mormon across the bottom (i.e. where the sun don’t shine). Can’t be too careful when tatting scripture.

  24. Someone just told her Jesus was black.

  25. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says “devout christian” like two divorces, hardcore porn, posing nude as often as checks can be written, and living your entire life in front of TV cameras without ever once mentioning Jesus. She’s only a stint in the Hitler Youth and raping a young boy away from being Pope!

  26. Clarence Beeks

    Oh for fuck’s sake.

  27. DeucePickle

    Look, God gave her every inch of that body and she’s going to show off His amazing work.
    Juggs for Jesus !

  28. Dude – it’s the Paris Hilton effect of a few years ago. We used to see Paris everywhere. She banged anything that moved. She showed her crotch and her ugly face and we all had enough. Now where is Paris? Nobody cares anymore. Give that other whore a lil while to run out of fuel, and then she’ll disappear to be replaced with… Courtney Stodden. Weeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  29. Inmate 12236969

    She maybe on to something her show is going to shit and you make a lot of money preaching look at all those mega churches and those folks are living large.

  30. Just imagine how huge she would have been if Ray J had taken a dump in her mouth?

    • Jack Ketch

      I’d love to tie her down and force feed it to her, then she may get an idea of what the public really thinks of her.

  31. Die already...

    Blowjobs & golden showers for Jesus?

    It really doesn’t matter what she wants to do; you can’t study the bible if you’re too stupid to learn how to read…

  32. J.R.

    “I want to start a bible study group with my friends!” …. yeah, give me a freakin’ break.

  33. Mando

    She must be smoking that synthetic cannabis, cause that is loopy.

  34. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    Cooler than you
    Commented on this photo:

    Mmm, look at those tits. I would let her suck my big cock and then I would shoot my load of sweet juice all over her face. Then when I figured out that she is just a d-bag I would then not call her anymore.

    90% of the hot women I’ve dated have a personality like her. What is this world coming to. Good to fuck, however not hot enough to stick around and put up with there bullshit for.

  35. LesC

    You guys are looking at this all wrong. She’s not reading the Bible to become religous, she’s getting tips on how to make people worship her. Since she can’t read, she needs “friends” It’s really called the “Kardashian Kult”.

  36. dachief

    does she let everyone piss on her at the end before prayer?

  37. Just what we all need. Some idiot that will cherry pick biblical verses to justify…her own…stupid behavior. Uhm, actually Kim, I think you’ll be alright on this one.

  38. Aggie

    Ugh, I do not envy the actors they get to play her friends in these scenes

  39. kate

    Tweet breast pics and start a bible study. Maybe she can have it at the playboy mansion with the bunnies and Hef! She’s so gross! Just seeing her picture skeeves me out. She’s reached Hilton and Lohan status now!

  40. WANT TO GET RID OF THE KARTRASHIANS, SIGN THE PETITION AT THE BOYCOTTKIM(DOT)COM. OVER 655,000 PEOPLE SIGNED THE PETITION. PLEASE SUPPORT THIS CAUSE!
    PEOPLE VS. THE KARTRASHIANS

  41. Rob

    Say what you will, I still wanna bang her. But it’d be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. I could ass check canal fuck her.

  42. CranAppleSnapple

    And then what, they get put out on an ice floe?

  43. Thomas

    I’d hit and quit THAT for 72 days!!!

  44. Kim Kardashian Yellow Blazer
    Commented on this photo:

    That jacket was white before she met Ray J.

  45. Nobody's B

    Is this an attempt at impressing Tebow? Lame.

  46. 02@ccord

    Please don’t tell me she is thinking of becoming one of those lame “reclaimed virgins”. Didn’t she heard that Tim Tebow already said he is not interested?

  47. vtmark

    Kim and Kourtney take Gamorra

  48. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    spartacus
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s not lie, we would all consider ploughing this. I’d live to piss on her face just to… err….. oh yeah, she’s done before. Well, then I’d…. aww…no she’s done that too…

  49. Kim Kardashian Yellow Blazer
    Leide
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s very sweet, Kelsey I hope those sormts aren’t hitting you guys too hard Anna is a total doll baby, by the way!

  50. Kim Kardashian Bikini
    Della
    Commented on this photo:

    Lovely picture Kim. Men, huh! They ARE the root of ALL Evil! Love and peace to the world and to all the haters!

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