And apparently “whatever she can” means hooking. That’s dedication.
Despite reports that Beyoncé wants Kanye West to keep Kim Kardashian the hell away from her, he’s inviting her to London anyway for his five-night Watch The Throne performance with Jay-Z. And just like Kris Jenner taught her, Kim’s immediately trying to calculate how many penises she has to put in her to get close to Beyoncé even if it results in an unwanted pregnancy. She can always trick Kanye into thinking it’s his. “Baby, Matt Lauer made our child look like a Sasquatch…” NY Daily News reports:
What will be interesting to watch is whether Kardashian can bridge the bigger-than-the-Atlantic image gap that exists between her and blue-chip Beyoncé.
While photos of Beyoncé wearing a show-stopping Givenchy dress to the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art were splashed all over the media, Radar Online reported that Vogue editor Anna Wintour — who keeps a tight rein on the guest list — banned Kardashian from the party. (West attended solo.)
No wonder our source says the 31-year-old Kardashian would “live and breathe to hang out with Beyoncé.”
And what story wouldn’t be complete without a mammoth Kardashian lie?
Kardashian’s spokeswoman told us that Kim has had the London trip “on her calendar since last year” to promote her perfume and do press.
“It’s a coincidence that the concerts are at the same time,” she says.
Jesus. I like how Kim Kardashian can’t just say, “Kanye invited me,” because it’s not like anyone’s going to think it’s suspicious he wants anal on the plane. But now this seems even more shady, so I think it’s safe to assume that Kim is going to murder Beyoncé and try to wear her skin as a coat. I’d recommend live ammo if I was her security, but that’s just me and my natural instinct to not leave infants’ without a mother. Their call.
h/t @BlackManUSA
Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet
well those thighs CERTAINLY look like they fit in size TWO pants.
*rolls eyes*
keep lying Kim, just like your face is all natural.
HOW DO THESE PEOPLE GET THUMBS UP?
And why isn’t his profile/IP banned?
at least one person has parodied that kind of spam with somethin like:
this succubus i heard of made 14 million $ last year just by being completely worthless @vacuoushollywoodcunts.com
besides, you can’t beat spammers 100% they will just come back with a different user name
Kanye’s next album has to be titled “Regrets”.
I’m shocked that Anna Wintour didn’t allow KK into one of her galas. She could have at least allowed Kim to stand in the corner and have her guests use her as a urinal.
Damn she looks like her fugly crusty Mom in these pics
Exactly, size 2 my ASS …. MOOOOOOoooooooooooooo. Thanks, Cock Dr. :)
MOO
Black Angus Motorboatus Interruptus
Armo pussy smells like a camel’s asshole.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Beyonce = Blue Chip
Kim = Mud duck
This looks more like Kris Jenner selling lube to a tranny.
Omg…is that her….I mean that can’t actually be what her ass looks like right? Mannn she should thank her lucky stars for photoshop.
Big, isn’t it? You could use it as a shelf. You could rest in it’s shade with room for a picnic.
If we shot her into space that ass would cause an eclipse.
while you could theoretically rest in the shadow cast by that enormous ass (MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO),
i don’t think that you ever actually want to be positioned downwind of it. that shit is killing the ozone layer ffs
No no no. An ass you could use as a shelf is good. This ass is . . . useless.
is that a nip slip???
So what if it is? I think the whole interweb has already seen the goods in a much more revealing format…..
Porn Star…….
Meanwhile, back at the house, Kris Jenner has hair extensions and is trying to crap a sofa pillow into the back of her Spanx.
Can someone explain this to me? Sometimes when I read a sentence I can’t read it the right way until someone clarifies. That made me sound really stupid. But I’m not.)
No wonder our source says the 31-year-old Kardashian would “live and breathe to hang out with Beyoncé.”
It’s not really saying anything to say that she would live and breathe to hang out with Beyoncé, right? I mean, it’s like saying you would do the simplest thing in the world to get what you want. “I would smile and talk if only I could hang out with Beyoncé!” What am I missing here?
I don’t know why I got a thumbs down… Can no one explain what I didn’t understand?
Its not you, the “source” (aka Kris Jenner) is short a few brain cells. It doesn’t make sense,
Wow, I’ve never seen Kris look so young and…round. It’s almost like she’s had surgery, but I don’t think surgery could ever reverse- wait. Oh. Oh God. She ate Kourtney in one of those anti-aging rituals that Madonna does, didn’t she? You know, I always thought the big one would be the one to eat Kourtney in a fit of missing-ham-induced rage. Weird.
That’s an old-lady-in-a-girdle ass. We sure that’s not Kris?
I think Kanye needs to start serenading her with “The New Workout Song”
Dammit. I added a video.
If I ever got a hard on from kimkuntrashian, I’d cut my dick off for allowing it to happen and then I’d blow my brains out with a 44magnum to punish my brain for my brain allowing my dick to let something as terrible as that to happen.
Junior high called; they said you’re late for class.
You came to this site seeking challenging intellectual stimuli? You’re new to the whole internet thing huh?
Nah, the cure is to check out Kelly Brook bikini pictures.
“WHY ISN’T ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION TO ME!”
“Naw, naw, naw, you gotta aim dem titties into the camera right there.”
That is absolutely terrible.
What the fuck is that thing on the right holding a pelt?
That’s Wednesday Addams all growed up
You know, prostitute is actually one of her better looks.
I seriously thought it was Kris Jenner. That is not a good sign.
Me too.
Kanye wants anal on the plane? OK, but Kim better wear her extra-long strap-on.
“Beyoncé wearing a show-stopping Givenchy dress”
“Beyoncé wearing a show-stopping Givenchy dress”
I understand that ploepe are free to live their own lives and make their own choices, but I can’t help feeling disgusted by this. It’s just an appalling waste of time, money, and energy. It also bothers me that I have friends who are deeply committed to each other but are not allowed to marry because they are lesbians but ploepe can have sham weddings like this, and can marry and divorce like their returning a purchase they decided they don’t like anymore. So much for the sancity of marriage.
what a freaking lie. she looked like crap in that stupid dress.
Why would anyone want to get near beyonce? I’m always trying to get away from her, her music, her annoying voice. ewww
She’s hot until she starts talking and nothing but “ghetto talk” comes out.
You would be looking old and blown out too if you had to be around that p.o.s. all day….
Hey, I just discovered something. If you are listening to Highway Star by Deep Purple and you see Kim K you start fantasizing about running her over with a ‘Cuda.
mooo
Somebody put a dick in that guys mouth.
Comes to show that the right hair and makeup will do wonders for a bitch! Cause damn, she is no Halle Berry!
So in this shoot she’s paying tribute to Chucky in the only way she knows how to… It’s Chucky the killing slut!
MAD TRANSVESTITE!
Kim has nothing to offer. Can’t sing, dance, act, write etc. She is nothing but a D-lister and if she is screwing Kanye then it’s only jump off pussy for him.
How could she do a sex tape with Ray J, fuck around with OREO Reggie Bush, married gay ass Chris Humphrey’s for less that two and end up with West? OMFG!
I’m sure it’s pretty easy once you get used to the tasting of your own shit off RayJ’s dick.
What’s she doing with Rumer Willis’ personal assistant?
Hell I thought this was Kris Jenner; it wasn’t until the close up pics that I realized it was Kim.
“Hurry up Kim, we gotta squeeze into this thing NOW!, there’s this legally blind guy that really has to pee…
MoooooooOOOOOOoooooo!
like mother, like daughter.
why the FUCK would someone want to look like Kris Jenner ?!
she’s a fucking disgrace
oh come on !!!
oldest trick in the book.
stand next to a fugly woman to make yourself look good.
Why is this thing famous? without makeup and lighting , clothes and photoshopping , she looks hideous
She has the look of a Yiddish mythological monster , The Golem !
If a 3000 year – old mummy an back to life and saw that enormous ass , he would immediately take his life in the most degrading method possible
Imagine , taking in the sight on that giant ass , free from all the spandex for the first time . It would probably remind you of some geological feature , like the Continental Divide , or maybe the Grand Canyon, only with an aroma you would likely never forget , and might possibly mutate your tastebuds permanently
MOO
Oh for heavens sake,Kris Jenner! Stop dressing like a hooker and wear age-appropriate clothing!
It’s almost like she’s had surgery, but I don’t think surgery could ever reverse- wait. http://exploreinternet.com/?p=92
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO