Kim Kardashian Is A Threat To Beyonce? HAHAHA! No

Beyonce has such a carefully controlled media presence that she once attempted to convince the world’s leading photo agency to give her refusal rights. The Kardashians built their entire empire on Kim’s sex tape and pretend like they don’t call the paparazzi to take pictures of them pregnant in bikinis on vacation. So they’re practically identical in terms of respectable fame, which is why there’s now supposedly a “cold war” between Kim and Beyonce over the latter’s new pregnancy. And I’ll just stop right there because none of that is happening. Not a single bit of it. Via Radar:

“Kim thinks she’s a bigger star than Beyonce,” an insider told the Daily Star. “The fact that Beyonce is going to have more kids than Kim once her twins are born absolutely drives her nuts.”

Okay, that part checks out. I fully believe that Kim thinks she’s a bigger star than Beyonce. Here’s where this scandal becomes as fake as an ass that doubles as an air mattress:

The two women, who are believed to have an on-again, off-again friendship, sometimes see each other as fame rivals, according to the report.

Of course, this is all according to an “insider” a.k.a. Rob Kardashian in Groucho glasses calling from a burner phone in exchange for In-N-Out’s security code. Because there is no way in hell Kim is anything other than a blocked number in Beyonce’s phone. Unless, wait a second, did we just stumble onto what really happened in that elevator with Jay Z and Solange?

“You borrowed Kanye’s laptop to check your email? That’s your bullshit story?!”
“I swear! I opened the motherfucker and BAM! Ray J’s dick all over the place.”
“And you didn’t think to just close the video?”
“There was no avoiding it! It was the screensaver and everything!”

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