No, Virginia, Kim Kardashian Didn’t Break The App Store

“But my mom said it did – *voice gets higher* – because she ate three babies for breakfast – *gets even higher* – and that, like, gives her more power…”

After wrapping Kourtney Kardashian’s camel toe around your face then jabbing you in the eyes with Khloe’s nipples, the least I can do is give you a tale of joy and wonder before jetting off for the holidays. So on that note, here’s Tech Insider pointing out Kim Kardashian was completely full of shit when she claimed her Kimoji app broke the App Store:

In a statement to Tech Insider, Apple says “there were absolutely no issues with the App Store yesterday.”
The truth is, people were probably having issues finding the Kimoji app on the App Store because it takes time for Apple to properly index new applications for search. So unless you had a direct link to the app in the App Store, you wouldn’t have been able to find it with a simple search. It’s possible Apple prioritized indexing the app to ensure more people could find it by late Monday afternoon, but in no way did Kimoji “break” the App Store for any period of time.
Apple also debunked a couple of claims in TMZ’s story about Kimoji, which said there were “9,000 downloads per millisecond” and that Apple’s tech team had to “swoop in… so [the App Store] didn’t fully crash.” That did not happen, according to Apple.

But before everyone starts thinking, “Hey, maybe this really is a magic baby’s birthday coming up,” a ridiculous amount of people forked over money to Kim Kardashian so they could text friends and loved ones a peach with jizz on it. This world’s going to BURN.

Case in point:

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