Kim and Khloe Are Turning to Science to Assess Their Babymakers

Kim Kardashian magically turned chicken cutlets into parfaits a while back before telling her family she’s thinking about risking her life to supply Kanye West with another model for their fashion line. I guess her doctor finally talked her out of it because now Khloe Kardashian is going into whatever laboratory provides them body maintenance to find out if her babymaker is still functional after being shredded for years by basketball players. The fact that she wants to be Kim and Kanye’s handmaiden is absurd and will never happen- we can dismiss that immediately, but the big story is the revelation that she “fake tried” to get pregnant while she was with cocaine cookiemonster, Lamar Odom.

“I fake tried. I was married but I knew the circumstances weren’t the healthiest, so I just kept pretending I was doing it.”

It’s possible that her engineers wired in a valve pump function to her programming that allowed her ovaries to be put on ‘sleep mode’ while Odom tilled her lady soils… It should go without saying that I clearly know nothing about how reproduction for someone with a mechanized vagina works, but this whole “fake trying” is just like, soooo Khloe.