Kiefer Sutherland is serving a 48-day sentence for DUI at Glendale City Jail. A spokesperson for the jail says Kiefer is a “model prisoner,” according to People:
“He’s not happy to be here,” Officer John Balian says, “but you can tell from his demeanor that he’s sorry and takes responsibility for what’s he’s done.”
Kiefer also serves meals to other inmates including a man recently arrested for attempting to murder four people:
“But we don’t put murderers or rapists who are awaiting trial in the same area as a guy convicted of a DUI,” Balian explains, adding that Sutherland, as an inmate worker, has access alone to one of three common rooms, each with a television.
The only interaction Sutherland will have with other inmates is when he slides a tray of food through slots in their cell doors.
Damn, that’s an intimidating mug shot. Just looking at it makes me want to divulge the location of those missiles. I mean, uh, my roommate’s missiles. He’ll say he has no idea how they got underneath his bed but don’t believe him. He’ll even try and say I download porn on his computer while he’s at work which is a bald-faced lie. That man has a disease no matter what his webcam will ultimately show me doing. I was using an old-fashioned butter churn. So I enjoy homemade dairy products, is that a crime?!
ANEXIO | December 7, 2007 at 11:52 am
poop
D. Richards | December 7, 2007 at 11:52 am
I want Quief to get his fucking ass reamed like the piece-of bastard Scot he is!
veggi | December 7, 2007 at 11:55 am
He makes me think dirty stuff.. Always has, always will (said in some weird accent)..
PunkA | December 7, 2007 at 11:56 am
Bet he is out before Christmas. ya know, so he can get hammered on some egg nog and go all Jack Bauer on Sant, then drive home drunk. Ah, the perfect ’24′ episode.
turd | December 7, 2007 at 12:02 pm
It’s “bald-faced.”
Kim | December 7, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I have read this news and people’s discussion on millionairefriends.com. It’s a dating site for celebrities and wealthy people.
Jersey Dave | December 7, 2007 at 12:06 pm
Hope he gets his drinking problem straightened out and doesn’t drive drunk anymore. Maybe this will do it. Then he can reach even more of his potential.
It seems they only let the female no talent “celebs” off scot free on these kinds of raps. I hope he makes good, and cleans up his problems. He’s a heck of an actor and by most accounts (except for the substance problems) a good guy.
D. Richards (Pariah.) | December 7, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Good-god I am so fucking tired of these people shoving their goddamn website down our throats. Ficial. You gotta do something about these people, man. It’s really starting to blow. The spammers have gotten smarter. I think they may be learning. At first it was, “want a good time blah-blah.com”, now they’re typing something in regards to the post, then going in to their bullshit rap. Enough. I want them to die of Botulism hard! Just fucking die, whores. Die-Die! Botulin out..
AConcernedGlendaleCityPrisoner | December 7, 2007 at 12:12 pm
I just want you to know when me and my friends asked Keifer to drop his drawers and hold his ankles last night in the shower that he was awesome cooperative. We now know for a fact that Kiefer did not smuggle drugs into our jail in a little plactic balloon in his rectum. Thanks keifer for helping us to help you keep our jail drug free.
IWONKY | December 7, 2007 at 12:13 pm
(Donald’s Lament) Oh, Queefer.
Queefer, Queefer, Queefer.
Jimbo | December 7, 2007 at 12:15 pm
@3 Hey Veggi, I thought it was me that makes you think dirty stuff.. I am crushed..
IWONKY | December 7, 2007 at 12:23 pm
#8 Well said and I second that – #6 is a fucking promotional comment.
Biff | December 7, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Sounds like he’s performing like a natural prison bitch.
veggi | December 7, 2007 at 12:33 pm
No, Jimbo, you make me SMELL dirty stuff.
veggi | December 7, 2007 at 12:37 pm
8- word.
Jimbo- don’t worry! You know I heart ya! Just not as much as Keifer, Clint, or Harrison. Oh docta jones!..
richie | December 7, 2007 at 12:41 pm
what a double standard, this guy drunk gets pulled over and gets sentenced to 48 days, then look at lindsay lohan or some of the other little tarts getting a day or shit like that… if you’re a guy you got it rough, if you’re a black guy… even rougher… little white tarts, go grab a drivers license like brittany and do whatever the fuck you want… if you get pulled over, show them your tits… have we cleared up who this world is actually accomidating today? fuck.
richie | December 7, 2007 at 12:41 pm
what a double standard, this guy drunk gets pulled over and gets sentenced to 48 days, then look at lindsay lohan or some of the other little tarts getting a day or shit like that… if you’re a guy you got it rough, if you’re a black guy… even rougher… little white tarts, go grab a drivers license like brittany and do whatever the fuck you want… if you get pulled over, show them your tits… have we cleared up who this world is actually accomidating today? fuck.
richie | December 7, 2007 at 12:42 pm
what a double standard, this guy drunk gets pulled over and gets sentenced to 48 days, then look at lindsay lohan or some of the other little tarts getting a day or shit like that… if you’re a guy you got it rough, if you’re a black guy… even rougher… little white tarts, go grab a drivers license like brittany and do whatever the fuck you want… if you get pulled over, show them your tits… have we cleared up who this world is actually accomidating today? fuck.
WHAT! | December 7, 2007 at 12:42 pm
I would be careful with Jack Bauer. This guy would probably melt the food tray (with his farts) into a sword. As the guard picks up the tray from under the door Jack would cut the guards ankle. When the guard falls Jack would demand he open the cell by putting the knife on his neck. The door opens jack would pull the guard in his cell to change into his close. He runs off whistling, not before kicking the guard in the nuts. I’m just saying…
CoM | December 7, 2007 at 12:48 pm
I have one thing to say about Kiefer:
WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR??!?!!?
That is all.
FRIST!!! | December 7, 2007 at 12:55 pm
I think richie really means that.
48 days for your fourth DUI (if that’s true) is actually a really good deal. I think here if you get 2 of them they lock you up for like a year..
Hmmm…I will have to check on that
RichPort | December 7, 2007 at 12:57 pm
In other news… sales of Guiness have plummeted in the Hollywood area. Details are sketchy, but sources say up to three kegs a night are left untouched. Two Irish pubs have since shuttered their windows.
FRIST!!! | December 7, 2007 at 1:04 pm
Well, I guess I will just have to travel to Hollywood, you know , to help them out!!
Auntie Kryst | December 7, 2007 at 1:07 pm
Frist I’m putting on my drinking boots to help too. I can’t leave good Guinness just sitting there.
Ed | December 7, 2007 at 1:10 pm
Ahhhhh Kiefer. My role model.
@20: Your comment wins.
Jimbo | December 7, 2007 at 1:17 pm
Hey FRIST, I am going to Hollywood tonight. WHere do you want to meet for a drink..
FRIST!!! | December 7, 2007 at 1:18 pm
An Irish Pub with shutters? We can just break in. That way we don’t have to pay..
Jimbo | December 7, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I know the perfect place FRIST. I will meet you there after work.
Grammercheck | December 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Umm yeah, its bold faced lie, not” bald faced”. LOL
Bold as in “It was bold to lie like that”
What would a bald face have to do with a lie?
Jimbo | December 7, 2007 at 1:32 pm
@29 Hey Dip shit it is bald face lie
bald-faced
PRONUNCIATION: bôldfst
ADJECTIVE: 1. Brash; undisguised: a bald-faced lie. 2. Zoology Having a white face or face markings.
Grammercheck | December 7, 2007 at 1:40 pm
Jimbo you should research a little deeper when you go to Dictionary.com
bold-faced (b?ld’f?st’)
adj.
1. Impudent; brazen: a bold-faced lie.
2. Printed in thick, heavy type.
bold-faced /’bo?ld?fe?st/ Pronunciation Key – Show Spelled Pronunciation[bohld-feyst] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
-adjective
1. impudent; brazen: He had the bold-faced effrontery to ask for a raise.
2. Printing. (of type) having thick, heavy lines.
The relation to bold-faced print is also relevant, meaning it was obvious or stood out as a lie, just as bold-faced print does on paper….please people think before typing!
Jimbo | December 7, 2007 at 1:57 pm
@31 I don’t have to dip shit!! Bald face lie is correct.
Don't _Bend_Over_To_Get_The_Soap_KMan | December 7, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Jack Bauer would have (a) escaped by now (b) shot the real drunk driver who framed him but alas who cannot testify because he is now dead (c) called Chloe to get the GPS coordinates of the last bartender to serve the real drunk driver and (d) get Chloe to wire enough money to be able tip the dancers in case they have key info or an exceptional rack. I want to be Jack Bauer if I grow up.
Binky | December 7, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I agree with # 33.
‘Model prisoner” ? Sounds pretty fishy.
Jack is just plotting his escape. Give him another 24.
Burgernoodle | December 7, 2007 at 2:27 pm
keifer’s bad ass.
Zackney | December 7, 2007 at 2:31 pm
The gross part is that at night, his cellmate makes him dress up as Chloe. And they both look forward to it.
woodhorse | December 7, 2007 at 2:40 pm
He was fantastic in The Light Of Day where he plays a convict on death row and he wrote the screenplay as well. He should have got an award for that and NOT Sean Penn for his watered-down, copy-cat version
woodhorse | December 7, 2007 at 2:47 pm
MISTAKE The name of the movie was Last Light. Anyway he was raw and realistic and Sean Penn was boring and flat.
LL | December 7, 2007 at 3:31 pm
Grammarcheck – don’t quit your day job (unless your day job is checking grammar, in which case, quit now before you do any more damage)
“That man has a disease no matter what his webcam will ultimately show me doing. I was using an old-fashioned butter churn. So I enjoy homemade dairy products, is that a crime?!”
Effing hilarious; Superficial’s fantasy life is rich and amusing.
RE Kiefer being a model prisoner: yeah, until he rips a CO’s jugular out with his bare teeth.
And yeah, props to #20. #33′s pretty good too. I wish I had a cell phone like Jack’s, that never drops calls or needs charging.
val mcl | December 7, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Interesting article to consider in the “bold-faced/bald-faced” argument:
http://www.mtannoyances.com/?p=384
Maniac | December 7, 2007 at 6:13 pm
When he gets out, I think he should add D. Richards to the show 24 as the stupid janitor who get impaled with a broom handle that he jams up his own ass. Wait, that wouldn’t be different from his real life.
Ript1&0 | December 7, 2007 at 6:56 pm
I want some butter.
Mmmmm fish butter.
endoftheshityear | December 7, 2007 at 7:15 pm
For those of us who have thoughts about LLohan’s prison sentence in this thread, the Queef got the correct sentence, and so all it means is that the bimbos should have all gotten larger sentences, it does not mean that PussyFart should get a ridiculously lighter sentence too.
Actually none of them really got a fair sentence, but this isn’t exactly the place or time to discuss repatriation and other “bullshit” like that, so have a good drunken weekend everyone, and if you want a slim chance to meet VaginalAirDischarge also, go ahead and drive too.
Laughing God | December 7, 2007 at 8:20 pm
bold faced lie or bald faced lie? Actually both seem acceptable, though bold is used more often than bald.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bold-faced
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bald-faced
The internet. There is more here than porn!!!
edward | December 8, 2007 at 10:35 pm
what a joke! Someone just PSed his pictures to some hot nude pictures
and then uploaded them to an onliine site Sugarmommymeet.. you know the site
is a rich women seeking sugar babies site.. so it says John is looking for a
rich hot sugar baby… haha.. what a slur..
Joe Mahma | December 9, 2007 at 12:24 am
I like how this guy is doing his time without so much as a whimper.
Kiefer is O-K.
sandy | December 9, 2007 at 12:49 pm
i think he’s hot.
toiletduck | December 9, 2007 at 2:38 pm
I wonder if now he prefers the taste of semen over Jack Daniels…
ronin | December 9, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I wana be locked up with Kiefer so we can suck each other off and pretend were straight and just doing it cos we’re locked up n horny ,,,,hehehehahahaha
mihkel | December 9, 2007 at 6:29 pm
this face has “I will seriously fuck you up” written all over it :)