Kiefer Sutherland is being bombarded with fan mail while serving his sentence in Glendale City Jail, according to People:
“The guy’s been getting a ton of fan mail,” says Officer John Balian, spokesman for the Glendale City Jail. “Easily more than 100 letters a day.”
Damn, 100 letters a day! I hope he gets mine. Just in case, I better post it here:
Dear Jack Bauer,
Upon completing your undercover mission doing laundry in prison, I feel it’s time for us to combine forces and really battle terrorism. I’ve already set up a base of operations. It may just be my parent’s carport stuffed full of Nerf guns, but I feel that with enough whiskey (AKA Jack Baeur’s terror-fighting juice.) we can effectively take down Al Qaeda. Or at least shoot my dad in the forehead with a dart. That son of a bitch made me mow the yard.
Go America!
The Superficial Writer
whoneedsenemies | December 12, 2007 at 3:03 pm
FRIST!!
youhaveenemies | December 12, 2007 at 3:04 pm
NUMBER!!
ko7 | December 12, 2007 at 3:05 pm
fags
whoneedsenemies | December 12, 2007 at 3:13 pm
Do you think he will post a letter on his website like Paris did?
http://thesuperficial.com/2007/06/paris_hilton_writes_to_fans.php#comment
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 3:16 pm
I hear he’s into waterboarding…I suppose I’d be into it, if we put down some plastic first…
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:26 pm
You’re gay
Texas Tranny | December 12, 2007 at 3:27 pm
Who’s gay?????????
FRIST, no,no, you got it wrong, that’s waterSPORTS, not boarding. Tee Hee
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:32 pm
all of you morons who try so hard to be “FIRST!!!!” GAY!!!
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:36 pm
I like Seal.
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Fuck, #5, I don’t even know what that means!!!..
Whatever. Oh, and tp, how do you like being so popular today? You are the girl!!!
DVD | December 12, 2007 at 3:40 pm
I think Jack Baeur’s has a mission on jail.
creative chikk | December 12, 2007 at 3:42 pm
tp you need to deal with your homophobic issues somewhere else
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I wish I was a girl. It’s hard pushing my boy penis between my legs. Well, not HARD per se…oh, you know what I mean, right Tranny person?
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I know, my 15 minutes are nearly up!!!
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:44 pm
I wish I had 15 minutes! There’s no time. I guess I’ll just eat the hotdog.
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Keifer looks like he’s going to eat my soul in that picture. I mean, what is his PROBLEM?????
Shia looked pretty happy in HIS mugshot, being arrested is kinda fun. Not as fun as watching gay porn, but still it’s something to do.
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:47 pm
shut up, hot-dog eating troll fag!!!
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Ok, so you know how this site is getting spammed by advertisements? This is me anti-advertising. I just came back from lunch, do NOT try the Quiznos new flatbread “Sammies”.
So gross..
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:52 pm
TT showed me how to “tuck” and it now looks like I have a vagina. Actually my very small penis is quite easy to “tuck” and looks so nice in my pretty panties. Next TT is going to show me how to suck cock and swallow the whole load without gagging.
wastedOne | December 12, 2007 at 3:53 pm
That letter totally rules. He would be stoked on that, seriously.
mike | December 12, 2007 at 3:56 pm
Frist – Keifer’s just intense, that’s all. He might slap you around a little bit, nothing wrong with that (except to the PC crowd). Shia looks more appealing to you because he’s soft and gay-leaning. You need to get with an actual non-druggie non-faggy hetero, for once.
tp | December 12, 2007 at 3:58 pm
#21 Mike,
frist LOVES gay men and trannies.
FRIST!!! | December 12, 2007 at 4:07 pm
#21 mike, I guess that rules YOU out..
Auntie Kryst | December 12, 2007 at 4:50 pm
What kind of mail is Kiefer receiving so much of? Direct mail pieces from liquor and tobacco companies shouldn’t count.
12:51 | December 12, 2007 at 8:24 pm
he has a mysterious i’m going to eat you soul kinda sexy going on in that picture ,,, it’s hot
Dave | December 12, 2007 at 9:39 pm
The record producer who claimed to have fathered a secret love child with Britney Spears is looking for a woman on the Jewish singles site (MillMatch.com).Britney has been spotted with Rotem throughout 2007, ever since her split with husband Kevin Federline, and last week the music producer claimed to have fathered a child with her. He told a U.S. Weekly “it’s true” when asked whether he had got the troubled pop star pregnant with her third child, although Spears has since rubbished the allegation. But now Rotem seems to be turning on the star. He writes on the dating site that girls “looking to use a guy like me for a music career” are just the type he wants to avoid.
PettyPape | December 12, 2007 at 10:58 pm
Go America?
Nobody younger than 80 in America calls it a “carport”.
_CS_ | December 12, 2007 at 11:01 pm
FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
D. Richards (Scum.) | December 12, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Dear, Quief:
How’s life in the pen, buddy? Tough? I hear that. Ha-Ha. I read they have you serving food to the criminals. Man.. That’s gotta be insane. Getting close to all those hardened criminals. Does it turn you on to be so close to those guys that really lived for a few minutes? They’re paying a price, huh? Man.. It’s gotta be tough in there – in the pen – boy. So? Agh? Have you dropped the soap yet? I know. I know. I just had to ask. I’m wacky aren’t I?
Look, Quief, I felt the need to write. You’re my hero and you’re in county. Locked down. Keep your head up, champ. Look in to this religion called “Islam”. I hear that helps a person get “they” mind straight. I’m planning on throwing a party when you get out. Maybe you could drop by and maybe look at this script I wrote? It’s a story about this guy. And he goes to work. And then gets involved with this arm wrestling competition to win back the heart of his wife and son that left because he’s, like, a ripped cab criver. And never home. And down-to earth. Umm. That’s all I have. Be real, man. Be real.
With love, Dick.
chinny chin chin | December 29, 2007 at 4:12 pm
What IS up with that photo? Did they photoshop an Amish beard out of it?