Kid Rock, Tommy Lee given chance to be douchebags again

September 13th, 2007 // 109 Comments
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Las Vegas showman Jeff Beacher wants Kid Rock and Tommy Lee to box each other at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. The winner will receive $1 million. They’ll also lose their dignity, but, hey, that was never there to begin with. E! Online’s Mark Malkin reports:

“I have already spoken to a couple of the oddsmakers here in Vegas, and Kid Rock would be the favorite,” Beacher just told me. “They are saying that Z-list Tommy Lee is just too old and beat up.”

In case you were worried, this spectacle is going to be super-classy:

And in the true spirit of re-creating Sunday’s VMAs, Beacher said, “I’ll even have Mini Britney open the show!”
If you’re not familiar with Mini Brit, she’s a 26-year-old little person named Terra Jole.

Okay, the Mini Brit, here’s her website. Go nuts. Now, who in the hell wants to see two white-trash rockers recreate their pansy fight? Besides the entire South. And that trailer park by the expressway. Other than that, nobody. Well, maybe the mentally handicapped. And the illiterate which also includes the NASCAR crowd. Wait, I already mentioned the South, didn’t I?

superficial

  1. jeez chill

    To point out the obvious – stereotypes are often used in the service of a joke, since lots of jokes involve cartoonish exaggeration. Get mad when they’re used for other purposes.

  2. Solaera

    Call me mentally handicapped but I would so pay to see these to douches duke it out. Totally awesome.

  3. #1wedge

    #17 & #20 – you pissed off again Schack? Not been laid in three or four weeks? Don’t worry – Thanksgiving is fast approaching and when you finish packing away all of that turkey and stuffing and candied yams, you can wash it all down with some of Daddy’s love juice.

    Gobble the weiner, schackie … gobble the weiner.

    For someone who says I spend all MY time on celebrity gossip site, you’re sure on here much more than I am. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black ….

    Fuck off bulldyke!

  4. emybaby

    lol i like how u guys all get pissed off about the south redneck thing.. lol tommy lee and kid rock, lol that is way funnier ya’ll

  5. LF

    Everyone so fucking bent out of shape about the Southern comments needs to chill the fuck out. The site is for making fun of celebrities, and in doing so someone else is going to be offended, too. If you don’t like it, stop fucking reading it instead of trying to prove how smart you are. No one cares.

    Also, someone can be white trash even if they weren’t born or raised in the south. Kid Rock is white trash. Just look at his choice of outfit for the VMAs. If anyone considers that “classy” needs to be shot.

    Also, fuck Texas.

  6. pj

    I’m with #48, I’ll buy a Mini-Britney even if she comes from China covered in lead paint!

  7. libtard

    #49. Just got my nails done and my frapp on an hour ago and I’m in Missouri. However, I will grant you that vegetarian grocery stores are kind of gay.

    Anyway, why is everyone in the US throwing stones while Sweden goes free?

  8. Nowthatisjustsad

    Hey Cali, better learn to swim.

  9. Esther

    Mini Britney is pretty much ten times better than regular Britney. She should have opened the VMAs.

  10. Gadeval

    I do not think the guy is trying to put down the south but only trying to make a joke. Im from Michigan, which is where the always classy kid rock is from…. He can make fun of Michigan all he wants and I still laugh. So ease up guys we know south has extremly intellergent and classy people.

  11. pj

    intellergent…..

    that’s funny, I’m gonna head out back and tend thu still now…..

  12. LouLou

    What are you all fighting about? And, since this is the Superfish and all, let’s be politically incorrect and stop calling mini-Britney a little person. She’s a dwarf! Or is it a midget? Whatever, forget the nicey nicey little person crap. She knows what she is, and it brings her a paycheck. Little person? Fish, you disgust me! Get real!

  13. Big Dumb Oaf

    Yo go LouLou-

    Geez, that’s too funny. A place like this being all concerned not to offend a “little person”? She is a person.

  14. LouLou

    Hey, @63……..She’s little, but are you really BIG? Keep it going, we’ll get to 69!

  15. Big Dumb Oaf

    I’m a little bigger than 63 and smarter than that too. I can can’t this many-

    ||||| ||||

  16. Big Dumb Oaf

    I count typo too good neither.

  17. LouLou

    Okay, baby, can we put my mini Britney together with your Big 65???

  18. LouLou

    68!!!!!!! Big Oaf, are y’all from the South??

  19. Big Dumb Oaf

    I have digits for gidgets but what’s better is…

  20. LouLou

    69!!!!!!!damn!

  21. Big Dumb Oaf

    No body tells me anything anymore.

    I’m goin’ home with muhself!

  22. LouLou

    Wait, I’ll cum with you, I mean, I’ll come with you. 69! Wait, 72??? I love fried tomatoes too!

  23. Big Dumb Oaf

    C’mere!

  24. LouLou

    where?? Oh, there! Yeah, anywhere! Oh wait, I think we’re off topic! I’m just gonna have a beer now.

  25. Big Dumb Oaf

    LouLou- anywhere, everywhere, haveabeer.

    Bye for now. Maybe someday I’ll meet you onna subway platform and we can get back to the 70s. If you’re mid-town, I’ll meet you downtown. If your westcoast, perhaps we’ll see the heartland. If your southern, we should go to see the little persons show and offer money for her to do dwarf tossing (another craze I missed ’cause no one tells me anything anymore).

  26. pj

    If I ain’t gonna git me some midget poon, we might as well pound brews; or mebbe moonshine seein’ as how weuns is Southern bashing.

  27. “Besides the entire South.”

    true that.

  28. LouLou

    Big Oaf……………Sweet. I’d rather get off in the eighties. Early eighties, if you know what I mean. Does that train stop at Hoboken Station? You remind me of somebody I used to …………. hot summer night ……..and all that …………wait a minute, I think I gotta go be with myself or something.

  29. Big Dumb Oaf

    Ain’t no southern bashing at all folks. Didn’t mean to sound as so- just reandering thoughts of wistfulness. Coulda been them Canucks what started it all.

  30. LouLou

    Yay! Canuck bashing! They know how to midget toss, don’t they?

  31. Big Dumb Oaf

    mmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    I think it’s time you get to bed girl!

  32. LouLou

    @81 – yeah, g’night!

  33. Big Dumb Oaf

    pj must have a midget stick

  34. LouLou

    is that PJ or is it BJ?

  35. pj

    Hey now, I was bred up in the south, I’m allowed to talk trash ’bout my friends and relatives. It’s all in good fun!

  36. pj

    Why? What you offerin’ Lou?

  37. I’d like to see them fight. (i’m whitetrash)

  38. sarah

    nothings wrong with the South we’re smarter that the North. Just because we’re Christians doesn’t mean we’re dumb

  39. Boston Strangler

    We should exterminate everybody living in the South. Just kidding! No.

  40. pj

    Don’t worry Boston, hurricanes will take out most of us. Well, maybe not most, just the ones huddled in the fellowship hall waiting for Jesus to rescue them.

  41. GWB

    Next spring I’ll start running out of troops who can be redeployed to active duty, so I’m announcing a plan to “withdraw” troops then.

    Don’t mess with Texas.

  42. jersey

    OMG MY GOD!!!! why didnt i know about mini brit before!!!!! she is awesome a REAL talent!!!! she isnt complaing about her size, hair, manager, comedian, heel, etc.she is out there rocking!!!! she could have replaced brit in the vma’s and totalyy upstaged her!!! imagine the ratings!!!
    ps us yankees in the north people are more evolved that Ya’ll

  43. Tommy and Pamela are perfect for each other. Skankaboy and skankagirl and between them, they MIGHT have half a clue.

  44. Gadeval

    @61 opps typo

  45. hi. my husband Brandon posts on the superficial forums as “apotheosis”. I have a new blog about his online romantic and sexual relationships with female posters.

    http://mrsapotheosis.wordpress.com/page/2/

  46. aldous huxley

    mini britney!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha! she sooo funny!
    although, she DOES look like the real britney!

  47. SodaPops

    They look like a drunk, elderly trailer trash couple who just won the lottery, but can’t remember where they put the ticket.

  48. iren33

    My money for Kid Rock.Tommy looks like will die anytime soon.Because of AIDS.

  49. Forget these idiots! Start running some stuff on mini-Brit! She has more talent in her little finger than Britney does in her whole family. See what I just did there? “Little finger” on a little person? Yeah, I’m retarded, but its not my fault…the pills make me this way.

  50. LouLou

    @97 – HAH! LOL! Best caption for this photo ever………I was thinking they were arguing over Tommy not sending his child support check, but yeah, you’re right, they just look confused.

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