Kid Rock is classiest man alive

August 27th, 2007 // 103 Comments
paris-hilton-kid-rock-polaroid-house-00.jpg

Kid Rock, seen here with his crack hanging out, spent the weekend partying with Paris Hilton. Had I been in town, I would’ve thrown a grenade at them. People might call that a bit drastic, but I’m not about to live in a world where the super-herpes these two would create ran free. Call me old-fashioned, but I like my penis how it is. You know, non-melted.

EDIT: I’m moving this back up because everybody deserves to see Kid Rock’s ass and Paris Hilton side by side. It’s your right as a human being. A now-blind human being.

Photos: Splash
superficial

  1. meato

    Jesus, why’d Fish have to bump this up to the top? I’d rather look at 100 drowned and electrocuted dogs than Kid Rock’s ass.

  2. veggo

    I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve got a pinch of tard, but this bouncing around stories is making me feel drunk…..again….. still……..again.

  3. Britney's Nappy Weave

    Has anyone else noticed that the girl w/Paris in the 7th small pic down looks like a Britney clone? Her fake hair, stupid rock star sunglasses and cankles are just like Brit’s. NASTY!!!

  4. Lovely

    #7 Nice….!

  5. #47 I was gonna say something similar to that , holy Hell just got back on the internet from, you know having to actually WORK for a couple minutes, and clicked on Superficial and to my dismay here once a-fucking-gain is kid rocks fugly asscrack. WHAT GIVES?

  6. Hey FRIST – So when does it matter if it is a 5 year olds birthday party to get hammered. Those are some of my fondest memories as a kid. All of the parents passed out and I have free run of the house with all of my new toys.

  7. james

    cankles… HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAA

  8. rockin with Dave Methane

    If Kid Rock was holding a lighter and a blue flame was visible, THAT would be a picture worthy of staying at the top of the page.

  9. JAMES

    CANKLES

  10. KidRock

    The reason you see my crack is that I’m getting ready for my time in prison when droppin my drawers will be a daily thing ( I am so fucking hot!). I’m taking it from Paris first because she is as close to a man as I can get without actually being a man. You will know why I’m going to prison soon enuf.

  11. pissy skank

    Ugh! These two truly deserve each other!

  12. At least he isn’t touch my Pam anymore

    http://retire-with-millions.com

  13. Malffy Hernandes

    Ew, ‘white butt syndrome’ it’s disgusting!

  14. Stop it!

    Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! No more moving this up!

  15. #52 Actually, Bite Me, it doesn’t matter, there just wasn’t any alcohol there or I’d have drunk it all. I got no problem with getting sloshed at a kiddie party. Makes it that much more interesting. Kindof like getting sloshed and driving on the freeway.

  16. Britney's Nappy Weave

    He has a case of Noassatall.

  17. I would rather see Missy Elliott, Rosanne Barr and Rosie in a naked mud wrestling tournament. Thank you.

    http://www.wooohah.com
    Celebrity gone ghetto. So raw it hurts.

  18. LL

    Yeah, jebus, please get this asshole’s asshole off the top of the page.

    And I said Paris looked better, I didn’t say she looked great. I just think the hair extensions were fugly and her dress isn’t slatternly, for once. I don’t even mind the gigantic sunglasses, and I usually hate those things.

    The worst thing about pictures of Paris are usually that Paris is in them. Now, the worst thing about these pictures is Kid Rock is in them. Maybe that’s Paris’s strategy. Hang out with people who are skeevier and more unattractive than she is, so she looks good by comparison. Worked on me.

  19. Looks like she is ready to give him a blow job

  20. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    Is she officially a tranny now?

  21. Alison

    So, what has he done….nevermind.

  22. jrzmommy

    I still can’t figure out why his ass crack is wearing sunglasses………..

  23. MeanJean

    Paris looks somewhat more like a real human being with short hair. I agree, those extensions were fugly.

  24. Eagle Chick

    OMG! I missed 69 and I sooo want his tattoo!

  25. hairextensionsrus

    Ugh. The brunette on the balcony with her looks like a Britney/Nicole cloning experiment gone horribly wrong.

  26. Hi Knee

    …and yet, it’s 1000 times more attractive than Kimberly Stewart’s butt.

  27. redsonja1313

    I love him….coin slot and all !! If he does anything other than a one night stand with Paris though I may have to re-think this or just pray he was on a really bad acid trip and she appeared in his intoxicated state to be hot supermodel

  28. redsonja1313

    I love him….coin slot and all !! If he does anything other than a one night stand with Paris though I may have to re-think this or just pray he was on a really bad acid trip and she appeared in his intoxicated state to be hot supermodel

  29. D. Richards

    I absolutely despise Kid Rock. Does anybody actualy believe in this guy’s power to “rock” anything? He blows. He started entertainment life as a fucking rapper. He “rapped” and was one hard ass. If at first you don’t succeed, work the white bullshit-country-trash music genre. Hey, it works!

  30. whtever

    Their combo-mutant herpes isn’t that big of a deal. Just get a couple gallons of holy water and a flame thrower, then apply both liberally. You’ll be clean in no time.

  31. GimmeABreak

    Truly a sign of the times!
    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm2181126/

  32. Fred

    Although I’ve never seen him perform live, I feel confident in saying…….why the fuck did this no-talent scumbag ever become famous?

  33. Fred

    And really, is there nothing cooler than a guy with a “american bad ass” tat on his back? Should’nt he be in Iraq then, or Afghanistan? I think those boys could use such a bad ass such as this.

  34. Binky

    NSA Homeland Security Report.

    Paris : ‘Kiddo’ (tee hee.) – why do you cum ,(tee hee), on over here. And check out my plumbing.
    Kid Rock : No problemo Pare. (Burp) I’ll gear up my plumber shorts, pack my crescent wrench, maybe even a vice – and be right over. (unintelligible) (burp) (unintelligible)

  35. YOU GUYS THAT SAY SHE LOOKS BETTER WITHOUT EXTENSIONS, THE DUMB BITCH JUST TOOK THEM OUT TEMPORARILY. SHE KNOWS AS WELL AS WE DO SHE LOOKS UGLY WHEN SHE’S NATURAL SO SHES JUST GIVING HER HAIR A BREAK FROM THOSE AWFUL THINGS, BUT THEYLL BE IN IN TIME FOR PURE ON FRIDAY NIGHT MARK MY WORDS

  36. El-Coyote

    So how did this hook-up happen?

    Rock: “Trade you Hep-C for your Super Herpes!”

    Paris: “Duhhhh, like slam me already….Hep-C is sooo hot….”

  37. M

    When did paris start looking like Rod Stewart!?

  38. woodhorse

    Cisco Adler and Kid Rock should start a pinup calendar. That’s January (and most of February) and then March covered. Suggestions for the other months, Fish?

  39. helen

    What happened to Paris? She really doesn’t look good without her hair extensions…oye! So wrecked looking…..

  40. scat lovers unite

    the reason Kid Rock is showing hi butt-crack, is because Paris licked it earlier and he wanted to show off his monumental achievement.

  41. wtf?

    nice ass. bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha

  42. Soy

    I despise her!!!!!!!!!!
    #82 You win BESTEST comment ~

  43. salmonswife

    again!…
    paris posh that jenna porn thing and joan rivers
    they all look the same just ad sillicon
    kida likedifferent versions of barbie

  44. salmonswife

    again!…
    paris posh that jenna porn thing and joan rivers
    they all look the same just ad sillicon
    like different versions of barbie

  45. silverdollar

    how the fuck can someone’s face be THAT square?

    and her purse looks like something my grandma would wear.

  46. pattiscool

    kid rock…the tool of detroit….bawitablahhhhhhhhhh

  47. Frick!

    I never would have guessed it, but after hearing his cd I discovered that Kid Rock has an amazing voice and can sing some amazing ballads. But wtf is he doing with nasty Paris? Eeww, I thought he had better taste than that. Not only is she ugly, but she seems like a real moron and a bore. Maybe he’s just looking for publicity for his upcoming cd. But anything associated with Paris is unappealing to me. She makes me almost embarrassed to be American.

  48. Ted from LA

    Why does Kid Rock wear those huge sunglasses on his ass?

  49. chimpy

    Match made in (skank) heaven.

  50. Lauren

    She’s got something in her fucking teeth. Ew.

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