Khloe Kardashian’s wedding scripted to the last detail

September 30th, 2009 // 62 Comments

While Khloe Kardashian’s hawking the OK! Magazine wedding issue on her blog, TMZ has audio that proves pretty much every single detail of her still-not-legally-binding marriage to Lamar Odom was entirely scripted by the producers of Keeping Up with the Kardashians:

Forget bridesmaids … Khloe Kardashian needed TV producers for her faux wedding. Listen to the walkie-talkie chatter behind the scenes, choreographing Khloe’s every move.
Everything was planned … even the moment when Khloe told Bruce Jenner she considered him her “real dad.”
The production was staged right down to the number of steps Khloe would backpedal before taking the plunge — about 10.

Of course, when using Sasquatch actors it’s best to be fully prepared so you can avoid such unfortunate instances as “Holy shit, it’s eating that baby!” And “Can someone bring me a new plate of chicken? This one has a Sasquatch on it.”

superficial

  1. The coyotte

    FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

  2. hayo

    first. mofos

  3. hayo

    shit i guess im not first. im such a fucking loser.

  4. The coyotte

    nope mofo

  5. The coyotte

    I meant yess youre a loser mofo

  6. ssljc

    haha two desperate jack asses, he for wanting a white chick on his arm and will do anything and her for wanting what a blk man earns, but u know what, she should take him for every penny he has and quickly pushes out a kid which will guarantee her ALL that she wants, HIS MONEY. Dumb asses

  7. aren’t women tired of looking that way… that generic way? It’s sad hwo she thinks she looked different on her wedding day, but she’s just the same as any other generic robotic, fake-looking woman. Look at all 3 of them. ill.

  8. Mskittyvixen

    Oh God… please don’t let them have children. It’ll come out looking like Shrek.

  9. LEB

    You know it’s true love when they’re cataloging wedding extravagances for OK! Weekly.

  10. YourVeryRealAndLegallyBindingDad

    I would try to say “Congratulations” because the two of them accomplished what they set out to do and that couldn’t have been easy. Then I look at their faces and bust out laughing. I bet she can wear his shoes.

  11. JADE

    sooooo proud of you coyotte.
    Been saying all along this sh*t isn’t real. I mean everything OK prints is total BS.

  12. James

    Let’s forget for a sec that this wedding was all fake. Let’s pretend she isn’t after his money. I think it is retarded when people get married after only a few months. Gee, I wonder why the divorce rate is so high.. I think these people are addicted to that feeling of newness in a relationship and don’t want it to go away. What better way to make it stay than getting married.. These are the people that get bored easily and later on are unwilling to work through the real problems that inevitably rise up.

    That said, I fucking hate this family of fakes.

    I hear she was angry about having to do a prenup. Any woman(or man for that matter) that is offended by a prenup either has an agenda or doesn’t live in the real world.

  13. Ballsy

    No way! Something to do with the Kardashians is fake and scripted? Kind of like that photo op vandalism?

  14. nixy

    Couldn’t they have picked a picture where she DIDNT look like a man???

  15. nixy

    Couldn’t they have picked a picture where she DIDNT look like a man???

  16. gotmilk?

    i love how it’s those three twats front & center. meanwhile, the idiot groom is in the background. who’s wedding is it??

  17. See Alice

    Imagine the smell and total tonnage of the alter from all those Fatdashians !

  18. Gilbert Grape

    They probably had some second-stringers shoring up the floor from the basement.

  19. Freebie

    Gee, do you think they did it for the money and notoriety?

  20. Gilbert Grape

    I look from his face to hers to his and …. I almost can’t tell them apart. If they have kids, the reported Sasquatch sitings are going to drive California property values down even further. And yet, on the bright side, maybe their truly large and hairy children can run off the coyotes.

  21. Kevin

    What’s up with these Kardashian chicks and black guys? Is it simply that no white guys will touch their nasty asses?

  22. Guest

    Remind me who cares ….. ?

  23. huh?

    she looks like “FAT ELVIS”

  24. Randal(l)

    It’s funny how for their wedding picture they had to shoehorn the two other no talents into the picture. Hopefully E! scripts their eventual divorce sooner than later. I am not looking forward to watching Lakers games and they keep cutting to Sascrotch, Fatass, and the one thats not Sascrotch or Fatass Kardashian inhaling nachos/hot dogs/small children every few minutes

    Randal(l)

  25. jstuddle

    Uhm…Hate to break it to you, but all weddings are scripted. They even have rehearsals. Just saying.

  26. Hello There

    I feel bad for Lamar. He has to stand with her acting like he’s all into her while RIGHT BESIDE HIM is Kim. YEah right. Like he thinks he made out. No way. You know all he’s doing is taking glances at Kim and wondering if there is anyway in hell he can still hit that or did he just doom himself out of that possibility with this dumb marriage. Looks like Reggie Bush = smart. Lamar Odom = idiot.

  27. ( . )( . )

    He looks like a troll.

  28. kanyeGAYFISH

    Why is the butler in the picture?

  29. Are you kidding me?

  30. aprilstp

    Because their mom Kris had so many, seemingly happy kids I thought they somwhere somehow had an iota of family values. Oh so wrong. I can’t belive the giant Khloe rammed this stunt down our throats. I have more respect for Kourtney, even though I always thought she was the most brainless one. (if that’s possible). I think it’s funny that each daughter got bigger by order of birth: Kourtney is tiny, Kim is taller and Khloe IS Sasquatch. Which means Khloe is a freak that doesn’t belong, and she knows it and it galls her, even on their show. Well,hopefully this sham will give her a fulfilling life so she won’t hate Kim’s beauty so much. And there I did it…I gave these jokesters credibility by discussing them. Just what they want. I’m a tabloid-hound junkie, sorry.

  31. Alex

    I know Yeti is a worthless and pathetic ugly fat whore, but WHAT IS WRONG WITH LAMAR??!! God, I always saw him a normal cool guy; apparently not so.

  32. FATASSians suck

    S T U P I D A T T E N T I O N W H O R E S.

    Yes, every single one of these FATASSian LARDASSian karDOUCHEians are stupid attention whores. I hate every single one of them. Absolutely pathetic. I give this fake marriage less than 4 months. I hope his prenup prevents this bitch from getting anything…

  33. hamper_lint

    # 21. Kevin – you are stupid

  34. hamper_lint

    # 28 – do you look at your own shit ?

  35. AmericanWhiteTrash

    Circus Clowns

  36. Miles Webber

    #34, do you look at #28′s shit?

  37. G. Fried Carpet

    Let’s be reasonable, these girls probably just let the balls hit the chin. So stop hating on Lamar, look at him – he aint pullin’ no Halle Berry anytime soon, he looks like Snuffleupagus. She rides it like a champ- so he married her..

    NEXT!!!

  38. Jamie Lynn's Uterus

    She’s a fucking unstable whacked out psycho DUI ridden sasquatch.

    Why should we care about these 3 pieces of shit? Enough with these sloppy, vile, disgusting no talents sluts.

  39. Tati

    oh my god… America SO doesnt need another K.K.K…. that being Khloe Kim and Kourtney

  40. anon

    What is it about Khloe’s face that makes her look like such a beast? I can’t figure it out. Is it her browline?

  41. shimmy

    40 – I wonder that too. I think it’s her nose.

    And Kardashians aside, I fucking lol’ed at those mini featured articles at the bottom. Talk about elaborate bullshit.

  42. Daryl G.

    You fucking idiots.

    “Why is Khloe so ugly?”

    Well, they’re all ugly. It’s just that Khloe’s nose is a full half-centimeter more narrow than the others.

    Why????

    You’re all fucking idiots. They’re all ugly.

  43. Stephanie

    #40+#41 Her eyes are too low on her face, eyebrows are too close to eye lids, edge of eyebrows are too close to inner corner of eyes,she has a heidi montag square ugly jaw, the bridge of her nose(the part between her eyes if you look at her profile pic in the upper part of the cover)sticks out too far..it doesn’t have a nice curve that gives way to a slightly upturned nose. Nose is too close to the upper lip..too much face between the mouth and edge of said face. That is my analytical opinion…oh and she’s GIGANTIC.

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  45. Peeter McSkeeter

    Kardashian in Swahili means “fucks anything with a black dick”

    I’ve I have said in the past, their father must be turning over in his grave seeing at least 2 of his daughters be nothing more than jig-loving, jock sniffing, skanks that will fuck anything that has dark skin and a cock.

  46. Care

    my god she is really ugly, especially next to her sisters.
    Bad move, that picture, Khloe!

  47. macmac

    im surprised she didnt demand rights to edit or approve the photo on the cover! must be tough :(

  48. dutchoven

    Odom is more feminine looking then his wife.

  49. Dude of Dudes

    Is the honeymoon on the wookie home planet? Or will they go cheap and set up a tent on Kim’s ass? Put some water in her butt crack and you’d have some mega friggin awesome white water rafting right there.

  50. Galtacticus

    Do we have to waste more time to these skanks!? Like we didn’t know.

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