Khloe Kardashian hearts not being in jail

July 20th, 2008 // 56 Comments

Khloe Kardashian checked out The Dark Knight at The Grove Saturday and enjoyed the general bliss that comes from ducking 30 days in jail for DUI. I can tell by the remorseful look on her face, Khloe’s learned a lesson: Kardashians make the law their bitch. Well, I’ll show them. I’m going to get blitzed off my face then drive around their neighborhood. Yeah, this plan is genius. *starts chugging*

UPDATE: Dude, Geekologist, I’m telling you this plan will totally teach these people a lesson. What people? I dunno, somebody. I wrote it down on a napkin. Huh? I didn’t puke on my shirt. You puked on your shirt. At your mom’s house – with Chevy Chase riding a lawnmower. BURN!

UPDATE: Yum yum yummy I’ve got Jager in my tummy, yum yum I’m feeling like nachos.

UPDATE: Stop the press, who is that? This, this tree of a woman. A mighty red oak of breasts and timber thighs. I would totally hit tha- SHIT NUTS! I looked at her face. *shakes head* Hey, I’m absolutely 100% sober. How’d that happen? And why is there a tongue print on my monitor in front of Khloe Kardashian? As God as my witness, I am never drinking again.

UPDATE: Wait, I’m an atheist. To the Beer Cave! *crawls under desk*

Photos: INFdaily.com
superficial

  1. tabacchif

    1

  2. alisa

    ugh shes not dressed in a flattering way for her body but i love her…. she’s hilarious..

  3. lara

    FAT ASS!! must be really hurtfull when she looks at her pretty sisters

  4. Cobi

    WHAT A PIG!

  5. dude_on

    The actual truth is she would be the hottest Kardashian (if there is indeed such a thing) if she would reduce her calorie intake by several thousand per feeding.

  6. They let her out early because she was frightening the other inmates and they didn’t want a riot.

  7. AJ

    The black chick has ugly breast implant gap cleavage and Miss Fat Ass Thunder Thighs DUI is a worthless loser like her fat ass sister Kim. The only hope for Miss DUI is to do porn like her slutty sister.

  8. Dave

    She probably looks REALLYYY bad naked

  9. One

    Its gotta suck being her (aside from the mass quantities of money, that is); she’s like the troll of the family…but can we please stop talking about her already?! She was in jail for a couple hours, now she’s out…whoopie! …Next!

  10. Man she looks so much like Chyna… like she eats babies for breakfast.

  11. They should have made an example with her like they did with Paris.

  12. isitin

    She is one fat ugly woman.

  13. She looks like Lisa Marie Presley, only not as sexy.

  14. Cattyluo

    I saw her profile on the site”Millionaire4me.com”Her fleshy body is hot on the site.Look…..It’s worthy to have a look on that site.

  15. veggi

    Yeah? Well I heart 3 day weekends, beer at 8am, air quotes and people that say ‘that’s what she said’, but is that really news??

  16. Can someone contact Ultraman to fight this monster Khloe.

  17. BigJim

    She’s bringing that black chick along with her for a snack.

  18. kk

    #5 — “per feeding”

    AHAHHAHAHHA

    seriously how tall is she though?!!?!?!!?!?

    also does anyone know how you can tell if someone was once/is a man? i seriously wonder about this 1 coworker of mine and i must know.

  19. timmy

    NOBODY CARES ABOUT ANYONE THAT IS FAMOUS FOR DOING NOTHING!!!!!
    THEY SHOULD ALL BE SHOT!!!!

  20. humpinfrog

    She looks like Hoss Cartwright with a wig.

  21. Chuckles

    The funniest comments go to the following:

    #10,17,18, and especially #21!

    Thanks for the chuckles witty people.

  22. Cattyluo

    I saw her profile on the site”Millionaire4me.com”Her fleshy body is hot on the site.Look…..It’s worthy to have a look on that site.

  23. sameshitdifferentyear

    Pay-Per-View special,
    Khloe vs. Brooke : Sumos in Mumu’s!
    Three 5 minute rounds
    I’d pay a buck 99 for that

    Notice that contrived angle-the-face toward the shoulder coquettish pose she’s trying to pull off? Sad. Very, very sad.

  24. Big Jim, yeah the black chick got eaten just after this picture was taken, and not in the good lesbian kinda way.

  25. sharpeidude

    Is there nothing these fucking Kardashian bitches can’t have????? First, no jail time for DUI, and now this pig went out and bought herself a slave!!!! Damn…the rich get all the breaks.

  26. BigJim

    @21:

    Holy shit. You are so dead on with that comment. I can’t believe it. Seriously, she looks like Hoss’ love child.

    Except that she was probably conceived anally.

  27. sharpeidude

    #24 – I saw YOUR profile on; http://www.Ilivefordirtysanchez.com

  28. Tapeworm

    That sow has the gravitational field of a small planet. Small objects orbit around her.

    Her role is to make Kim look thin. By comparison, Kim is anorexic.

  29. The whole Kardashian family is a total waste of space. I thought it was totally gross that their crap reality show made it look like no big deal the Khloe got a DUI on camera. Scum bags.

  30. Lola

    what a fucking cow…. i thought black was supposed to make you look slimmer… the sad part about this whole thing is that the obvious is missed out… this stupid obese gorilla cunt drove intoxicated…. thank God nothing horrible happened that night and she didn’t kill anyone or herself or cripple anyone…. now it’s the “IT” thing to go to jail for a couple of minutes…. if this were a normal person, they’d be behind bars for the whole sentence…. it’s great knowing how lenient the system works in favor for these useless people… the worse part though is, this butch bitch is no nobody… she’s done nothing at all to deserve anything but to be anally raped…. fuck the whole system

  31. free lily

    Who wins in a cage match, Khloe or Chewbacca?

    Khloe might have a slight size advantage in this one.

  32. HuckyDucky

    I second #19. Awesome, you guys brought your “A” game today. #18, that is totally hilarious.

  33. oh yeah

    I’d hit that shit like a stack of pancakes.

  34. mady

    A camel whole foot not just a toe what the fuck is that …. just DISGUSTING

  35. dfsdfd

    Wow, that is some ugly clothing! Is that what they sell in their boutique??? Ew. No wonder you always see Kim shopping at other stores, she has much better taste.

    And that Black chick is a celebrity wannabe, down to the Nicole Richie rip-off ankle tattoo.

  36. Randal's Non-Gay Brother

    Khloe looks dashing in her all black ensemble. It really helps to slim down her otherwise cottage cheese infested waist, thighs and buttocks region. The pink phone in her hand gives people a great reason to look away from her manly facial features as well(yummy). She and Brooke Hogan need to hook up for a cover shoot. They would look fab together. I know that guys like me love those types of girls. Ya know, the ones that you seriously have to question whether they are Randal’s friends in drag. Gets me all twitterpated just thinking about it.

  37. KK(K)

    Yo man its me, K-Lo to the muthafuckin E, back behind the trigga with my loyal outrigga nigga!

  38. wow (omg). the end of this post was a little over the top. umm… i probably would believe you for once if you were to say that you were drunk when you posted this

  39. jay

    Is it just me or does Khloe look like the Marsh-mellow man in Ghostbusters.

  40. bootlips

    I see fat runs in the family.

    Take a neeger to court. This way you can act like a victim and are not responsible for your actions.

  41. Manly chins are super sexy

    Can we not give Desperate Dan the attention she craves.

  42. Jay

    With all her familys money you would think she could get a trainer to shed some of that fat.Relax khloe i don’t think you will die if you could fast for a month.Why is this fat bitch considered anyone?What has she done,besides be on a reality show where the mom tries to pimp out her three slut daughters.Hey khloe can you deep throught like kim?Just three high class hoes.

  43. Jay

    With all her familys money you would think she could get a trainer to shed some of that fat.Relax khloe i don’t think you will die if you could fast for a month.Why is this fat bitch considered anyone?What has she done,besides be on a reality show where the mom tries to pimp out her three slut daughters.Hey khloe can you deep throught like kim?Just three high class hoes.

  44. moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

    What a ugly ass fat cow.

    MOOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooOOOOO

    Ya fat ass ugly bitch! Stop posting about this tard looking tranny. Noone cares.

  45. jay the tard

    Fat chics do not = high class hoes.

    Wooooowww. What a dumb fuck. Here is a example so you can see how stupid that sounded. High class fatty, ya right.

    Calling: ring* ring* Jay: “hello, yes, could I get a high class obese chic please?”
    Operator: “High class obese women do not exist, we do have some fat low class whores available will that do?”

  46. blah

    she got a better personality then either of her pretty sisters though

  47. khloefartshard

    My friend says Khloe has frequent bouts of EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA. 69 at your own risk…

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