And Here Come The ‘Khloe’s Jealous of Kim Kardashian’s Pregnancy’ Stories

January 9th, 2013 // 22 Comments
Make Room, Butt
Kim Kardashian Pregnant Cleavage Boob Window Dress
The Milk's Coming In (God, We're Classy) Read More »

(“What’s with the pics?” Don’t look a gift-boob in the mouth.)

When Kris Jenner made Khloe Kardashian barren so she could milk that for an easy couple of episodes (Not to mention Sasquatch breeding is heavily regulated and she can’t have the government snooping around and finding out they’re harboring an alien.), she also knew that would pay off when her other daughters got pregnant. Especially after you make one of them take the busted babymaker one to a fertility clinic and then use her pain to lubricate your own vagina for conception which is how I’m positive all of this went down. In Touch reports:

Breaking the news to Khloé wasn’t easy for Kim, who has sat alongside her sister at the fertility doctor’s office and knows how desperate she is to be a mom. “Kim told everyone at the family Christmas party [on Dec. 24],” a source close to the Kardashians tells In Touch. “She was scared to tell Khloé — she really didn’t know what to do or how to tell her.”
When Khloé heard the news, there were tears, confirms the source. “She went full force on the champagne at the party,” reveals the pal. While Khloé has done a good job of hiding her pain, insisting to fans that she is “so freaking excited” for Kim, in reality, “Khloé is hurt and jealous,” says the pal.

Of course, what no one wants to talk about is the fact that Kim is more than likely faking the whole thing because if she really was pregnant, Khloe would’ve smelled the fetal sac by now and slashed it out with her claws before retreating to a forest glen. Which don’t get me wrong was fucking hilarious at the first couple of showers. Ohmygod, those people’s faces.

Photos: Terry Richardson

superficial

  1. Dawn

    So mean of you to pick on Khloe!! She is the only “normal” one on the show!!

  2. your mom

    Kate Upton Day is like Second Christmas. Take that, internet!

  3. Cock Dr

    Recommend that blogger and Photo Boy start brushing up on their burger flipping techniques.

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      I’m worried I’ll have to find a new place to unload all the hatin’ I have to get out to be relatively well adjusted IRL.

  4. At what point do you admit that whatever the fuck you are trying to do with this site is just killing it and fucking it up and ultimately going to destroy it?

    • USDA Prime McBeef

      where are all the damn commenters? long vacations? ‘the fuck? or is it just that the new gallery experience blows ass?

  5. CarsonDCarson

    Hi,

    Just wanted to say that real problems or not, placing images of Kate Upton on stories about Snooki, Beaver and the the Kardashians is awesome ! Gift Boobs should continue to make appearances on their stories. A vast improvement it has been to your site !!!

    Thanks,
    Carson

  6. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Tommy T
    Commented on this photo:

    nipples

  7. Generally speaking, humans cannot impregante Wookiees, Khloe. Just saying.

  8. DeucePickle

    I think this should be the way all Kardashian stories should show up from now on, with pics of Kate Upton. This is way better!

  9. Jurdurb

    I’ll suck a gift boob in the mouth.

  10. Poor, poor Khloe. I feel so bad for her that she can’t get her womb packed properly. In fact, I’m thinking it would be right humanitarian of us Superficialistas if we were all to send flowers to the entire Kardashian family just to show that we share their pain. C’mon gang…whatdya say…???

  11. Urbanspaceman

    Poor Khloe! No one’s had the heart to tell her that her hubby got a vasectomy several years ago.

  12. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    Excellent. I wonder if her back hurts, though.

  13. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Jerry
    Commented on this photo:

    AWESOME!!!!

  14. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Gerry
    Commented on this photo:

    Fucking sweet!

  15. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    yum shes got the chocolate chip nips

  16. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m totally jacking off to this!

  17. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    luke
    Commented on this photo:

    yeah I noticed that and couldn;t believe it areola?!

  18. Kate Upton Nipples Bikini Outtakes Terry Richardson Shoot
    Donald Brisson
    Commented on this photo:

    Kate, I just want to say that you are the most beautiful lady i have ever seen. Your admirer Donald

Leave A Comment