Khloe Kardashian’s Quitting PETA Because Of The Flour Bomber

“It’s just me and my board from here on out.”

If you’re wondering what’s going to happen next in the exciting adventure of “Who Flour Bombed Kim Kardashian?” put a fucking gun in your mouth and kill yourself. And while those people do that, here’s Khloe Kardashian announcing she’s quitting PETA because the flour bomber is allegedly an animal activist even though we’ve already covered she was just looking for a chance to work with a real, live Bigfoot:

Hi dolls. I’m sure you all heard what happened to Kim last week (thank you SO much for the love and support you all showed her), and I just received word that the woman responsible has very close ties to PETA, despite PETA publicly stating otherwise. Not only has PETA lied to the public, but they have proved that they support this kind of behavior. I’ve been a vocal supporter of PETA for a long time but I have also been very vocal about anti-bullying, so this was a huge disappointment for me. As you all know, I don’t condone violence and bullying and what happened last Thursday was just that. I am absolutely disgusted by their behavior. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and opinions — I personally don’t wear fur but that doesn’t mean I am going to force my views on anyone else, ESPECIALLY by violating them. I am a very proud sister right now, because Kim handled last week’s incident like a champ. She got cleaned up and was back out there in a matter of minutes. Go Kimmie!
We all need to practice what we preach. I will still continue to NOT wear fur, but I will no longer support PETA. Bullying and harassment is NEVER a solution, and I won’t be a part of any organization that thinks otherwise.

So assuming this flour bomber wasn’t paid by the Kardashians, which she was, she not only threw flour all over Kim Kardashian but also made sure we’ll never see Khloe’s naked airbrushed ass telling us not to wear fur? (Which I’m pretty sure counts as harassment, Khloe.) Are we sure this person was a woman? Because I want to say it was Jesus. Jesus was the flour bomber.

Photo: Chris McVeigh/Pacific Coast News