Khloe & Lamar Are Separated Because Crack Made Him Cheat On Her

August 26th, 2013 // 39 Comments
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Khloe Kardashian is a barren Sasquatch, and Lamar Odom is a rich, famous basketball player who’s had sex with her vagina once, so clearly the only possible explanation for why he’s been cheating on her is crack which is why they’re legally separated now. For real this time. TMZ reports:

Multiple sources familar with the situation tell us Khloe “effectively” declared separation when she threw Lamar out of the house Wednesday, after he refused her attempt at an intervention. TMZ broke the story … Lamar has had a crack addiction problem for at least 2 years, and Khloe simply couldn’t take it anymore.
We’re told Khloe made it clear if Lamar did not get help — the point of the intervention — she wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
But we are also told neither Khloe nor Lamar has consulted a divorce lawyer … at least not yet.
If and when they do file for divorce — which we’re told is likely — there won’t be much to fight over. Sources connected with the Kardashians tell us the couple signed a hard-fought prenup before they married.

Probably the most impressive part of this story is that Kris Jenner is actually paying Khloe back for all that “Surprise! You’re a bastard,” business by working to paint Lamar Odom as a junkie who would only dream of cheating on her daughter because he’s on a bender. I just assumed Kris considered it her motherly right to suck the fame right out of her children until they’re nothing but dry, hairy husks to be rejuvenated in the Lazarus Pit, so this is remarkably human of her. For a minute there, I actually felt like she wanted Khloe and not just for backup child support in case Robert fucked her in the divorce even though it was that. That was the reason.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. So it is confirmed, marrying a Kardashian will turn you into a crackhead.

  2. Why doesn’t everybody drop the pretense of “a source familiar with the situation” and put it like this: “Mommawhore said that….”

  3. Khloe Kardashian
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll tell you what, you turn her around and lay her face-down on the bed so she doesn’t look so tall and monstrous, and I would probably think for at least 10 seconds before I didn’t hit it.

  4. mua

    Boy the kardashian kunts have make TERRIBLE choices in men! Well the 3 sisters. Kim gets pissed and cheated on, now controlled, Courtney is in such denial with Scott it’s laughable and I don’t know what possessed this one to marry that ugly ass tall freak from africa but I’m enjoying this! Cant wait to see whats next!

    • I disagree with your premise that it’s possible for any of the Kartrashian sisters to marry beneath them, let alone all of them. Of course, Charlie Manson is still living, and single.

  5. It’s too bad crack didn’t make him kill her and skull fuck her decapitated head on her moms show, while the braindead crowd claps and cheers like the retards they are.

  6. Why’s the black man gotta be a crack addict?

    This is straight up racism. Kris Jenner is just George Zimmerman with a press agent instead of a gun.

  7. Tomahawk Holmes

    “crack addiction problem”????

    WHEN THE HELL IS CRACK ADDICTION NOT A PROBLEM??

  8. Mr. Sensitive

    As a Kardashian she was counting on it being a hairy-crack addiction.

  9. Tomahawk Holmes

    all things considered though… it would probably take some crack rock for me to bang Chewbacca too.

  10. Griefer

    Wanting to bang hot women made Lamar do it. He needs to be under the influence to have sex with Chewy.

  11. Tara Kannon

    She looks really cute and pretty in that photo above. I feel bad that youall revile her so much, she’s not that bad :(

  12. I’d have to shoot heroin directly in my eyeballs every morning to wake up to that giant beast with no make-up on. also, having to deal with the Kuntdashian KIan on a daily basis would make the Pope shoot dope.

  13. From the agreement the NBA negotiated with the players’ association during the 2011 lockout:

    All players are subject to four (4) random tests each season (from October 1 to June 30). All players are also subject to two (2) random tests each off-season (from July 1 to September 30). All such tests are scheduled and conducted by an independent, third-party entity and are without prior notice to the player. The NBA and the NBPA are not involved in the scheduling of any tests or the selection of players for testing.

    More importantly, if the NBA receives information a player may be cheating with drugs, that player can be brought, within 24 hours, before an independent medical expert with the power to order a rigorous course of testing.

    How’d he get around that for two years?

  14. Crack make me do it, don’t blame on crack men up and tell the truth you wanted to fuck something else besides Willy

  15. Cock Dr

    It’s very strange but for no particular reason I dislike her the least out of that rotten scheming money hungry talentless K klan. It might have something to do with that wookie wallet thing.

    • Maybe it’s genetic—isn’t this the hairdresser’s kid? Which makes Kim and Kourtney only her half-sisters, which makes Khloe kind of like Cinderella, if the dad died instead of the mom and she was named Gargantua and the glass slipper was a basketball sneaker.

  16. Slappy Magoo

    She looks a little bit like Daisy Duke.

    Not when the show was on the air, Disxtysomething Daisy Duke NOW.

  17. Slappy Magoo

    She looks a little bit like Daisy Duke.

    Not when the show was on the air, Sixtysomething Daisy Duke NOW.

  18. Yeah pussy crack and ass crack made him cheat.

  19. anonym

    Now I understand why black people like the big girls.

  20. SssHhhhh

    Krack,Kokaine and kartrashians OH MY!!!!,

  21. Robb7

    Here’s hoping LO goes all cracky berserko on that entire family and destroys ‘em all.

  22. I’m more inclined to believe that the reason Lamar took a hike is that he finally got his eyesight and hearing checked.

  23. Jenn

    I thought it he was on OxyContin. He’s ugly and he can’t play basketball for shit. I like Khloe more than any of the others. She should’ve dumped his cheating ass long ago.

  24. Khloe Kardashian
    Interred Ferguson
    Commented on this photo:

    Gotta say this is a pretty good look for her…..but not enough to make me cross the bestiality line.

  25. Who gives a shit?

  26. Tattooed Liberal Atheist College Feminazi

    Poor Lammy.

    I actually like Khloe the best out of all of the Kardashians, probably because shes not really a Kardashian.

  27. If I were married to a Kardashian, I’d be on hard drugs too.

  28. Hi

    I don’t get why people think she’s so unattractive…

  29. praying for him to get better.But this family will do anything to look good when they don’t get their way they will bring their man down!Look at kanye he already became bruce no balls and their bitch!kanye acts like he got a piece of gold keep thinking that kanye cuz you the only one that thinks that LOL!! Let’s see how much of a piece of gold he thinks he got later when she drys you out!

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