Khloe & Lamar Are Separated Because Crack Made Him Cheat On Her

Khloe Kardashian is a barren Sasquatch, and Lamar Odom is a rich, famous basketball player who’s had sex with her vagina once, so clearly the only possible explanation for why he’s been cheating on her is crack which is why they’re legally separated now. For real this time. TMZ reports:

Multiple sources familar with the situation tell us Khloe “effectively” declared separation when she threw Lamar out of the house Wednesday, after he refused her attempt at an intervention. TMZ broke the story … Lamar has had a crack addiction problem for at least 2 years, and Khloe simply couldn’t take it anymore.
We’re told Khloe made it clear if Lamar did not get help — the point of the intervention — she wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
But we are also told neither Khloe nor Lamar has consulted a divorce lawyer … at least not yet.
If and when they do file for divorce — which we’re told is likely — there won’t be much to fight over. Sources connected with the Kardashians tell us the couple signed a hard-fought prenup before they married.

Probably the most impressive part of this story is that Kris Jenner is actually paying Khloe back for all that “Surprise! You’re a bastard,” business by working to paint Lamar Odom as a junkie who would only dream of cheating on her daughter because he’s on a bender. I just assumed Kris considered it her motherly right to suck the fame right out of her children until they’re nothing but dry, hairy husks to be rejuvenated in the Lazarus Pit, so this is remarkably human of her. For a minute there, I actually felt like she wanted Khloe and not just for backup child support in case Robert fucked her in the divorce even though it was that. That was the reason.

Photos: Splash News