Khloe Kardashian Isn’t Getting Back Together With Lamar Odom

Last week, Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom somehow called off their divorce even though he’s in a fragile mental state and may or may not still be dying. At any rate, the word through official channels was that they were giving their marriage a second chance, except now here’s Khloe telling PEOPLE that, nope, they are not getting back together because someone obviously went back and looked at James Harden’s money again.

“It’s out in the media that we are back together, but I wish people understood that’s not in our thought process right now,” Kardashian says exclusively in this week’s issue of PEOPLE. “There are too many other important things, too many medical things. It’s not even in our brains thinking about us as a couple or having a relationship right now.”

Then why did she call off the divorce? “Medical reasons.”

“It’s just bad timing to proceed with that right now. And also for medical reasons, it’s just smarter that gets on hold for a minute. But that does not mean I’m back with Lamar.”

Jesus, we get it, you’re not getting back with Lamar. Why don’t you say it for the third time?

“I loved him always, and I will always love him,” she says. “I don’t believe love is fickle. I believe when you love someone, you are allowed to love from afar. You don’t have to be with that person in order to love him.”

There’s one more twist of the knife, isn’t there? Go on, get it out of your system.

“There is a very long road ahead of [Lamar],” she says. “He has to walk that road by himself, and, most importantly, he has to want to walk that road.”

I could make more quips about how these people are the goddamn Devil, and guess at what their endgame is here, but let’s cut to the chase. This is what Kris Jenner was after. How many opportunities are there for this outside of farting out Kanye-babies?

khloe kardashian people cover lamar odom

 

Although, personally, I preferred Khloe’s last tabloid cover:

bigfoot vs aliens

Anyone know who won? I keep forgetting to check.

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Photo: PEOPLE