There’s Going To Be A ‘Khloe’s Real Dad’ Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians

January 24th, 2012 // 92 Comments

We’ve had a lot of laughs about who Khloe Kardashian‘s real dad is, but now Kris Jenner‘s trying to make a buck off of it, so let’s get down to brass tacks and lower the ratings by all agreeing it’s definitely Kris’ long-time friend/hairstylist Alex Roldan (above). Because if you haven’t seen pics of him by now, he’s so obviously Khloe’s dad, all that’s missing is his bandolier and a propensity for always thinking with his stomach. (Yes, I’m that big of a nerd.) Via FOX News:

Adding fuel to the fire, Khloe and Roldan seem to bear some physical resemblance. Khloe’s middle name also happens to be Alexandra.
Roldan, who is now a hairdresser in West Hollywood, is taller at 6’ than Robert Kardashian, who stood at 5’7,’’ Hollywoodite reports. Khloe is the tallest of her sisters, standing at 5’10’’.
….
Hollywoodite also reports that the Kardashian clan is well aware of the news and that Kris Jenner was actually planning an episode of their show “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” around the revelation.

I love how Kris Jenner should be hiding her shame that she cheated on Robert Kardashian, but instead she’s already used it to sell books and, of course, has plans to turn the by-product of said affair into ratings gold. Because you know what always make great entertainment? Letting the world officially know your daughter’s a bastard. That’s really the whole point of even having one.

Photos: Hollywoodite, Pacific Coast News

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  1. Frank Burns

    Premise fail – a heterosexual male hairstylist in Hollywood? Come on, at least make it plausible.

    • Cock Dr

      Maybe they did it turkey baster style in between the perm, the frosting and the blowout..
      Really though, that resemblance is quite something.
      It makes perfect sense that the Kardashian brood queen would be a shameless adulterer.

    • POWW

      I know it’s not politically correct to say something negative about one of your many comments, but really Frank, this joke is so
      old and tiresome. You could have done better.

    • V

      I call fail on your shletered life. I know plenty of straight hair dressers.

    • Ina Garten's Panty Shield

      Uhm, posting a dated and obviously wrong stereotype, in a story where the guy involved is clearly hetero, IS the joke! Maybe you geniuses should stand on a chair next time you visit the site, so that fewer comments will go over your heads.

  2. karlito

    great…more FAKE reality TV. if morons keep watching this crap, they’ll keep feeding it to us. stop the crap on TV. the show that started this wave of purial entertainment is the survivor and that was a fake show as well.

  3. Captain Obivious

    OJ Simpson is her father.

  4. Bane

    Holy shit! She does look like him!

    That is kind of obvious.

  5. Mando

    Wookie haz no dada

  6. vgirl

    That’s a scary resemblence. No pun intended.

  7. Deacon Jones

    Dead ringer….but the beginning of the article shouldve started like this -

    “Adding fuel to the fire, Khloe and Roldan seem to bear some resemblance TO FUCKING OGRES FROM MIDDLE-EARTH”

  8. Anon

    Damn for a married woman she sure got passed around. Seems she likes to bang all of Robert Kardashian’s buddies.

    • cali

      Exactly! That woman is quite a ho, no wonder all of her daughters are ho’s not to mention greedy fakers. Kris Jenner should be ashamed, although a woman without a conscience doesn’t know what shame is.
      If she were my mother, I would really be embarrassed; flaunting a cheating on her husband, having sex while her son sleeps on the couch in the same room, takes chutzpah.
      There is no way, no how that she now is faithful to her current husband;she doesn’t know how to do that.
      I agree, that guy is Kloe’s father – what an embarrassment, the hairguy!

  9. EricLr

    Putting aside for a moment that I’m still trying to get past the shock of learning that there is a male hairdresser in Hollywood who’s apparently *straight*–my main surprise here is that Kardashians are apparently *born*. I had always assumed that they were called forth from the dark netherworld of Bacchus, the Greek god of self-indulgence–perhaps in some sort of elaborate ceremony involving the sacrifice of the human dignity of an innocent. To learn that they actually have a human gestation, NOT ending with them killing the host and feasting on her for sustenance, leaves me speechless.

  10. Darth Vader

    No… I am your father!

  11. Ah, so that explains why her middle name is Luis Guzman. She was named after her dad.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      AHAHAHAHAHA

      Do you think Guzman got to keep that statue they made of him? I would park that thing next to my couch. Or queueing for the bathroom.

  12. The Royal Penis

    It takes a special Mom to profit on the possibilty of inflicting emotional pain to your child.

    Extra special when you also broadcast the possiblity to the world.

    I wonder what Satan has laid out for her when she arrives. I’ll bet it’s something really fun.

    • V

      But at the same time their children are willing to take all the forms of humiliation possible – sex tapes, sham marriages, DNA tests – to guarantee a “career” fabricated out of thin air. These girls actually have millions and millions of dollars from marketing their boring but rich lives. It’s worked for them perfectly.

      And that’s what you call “selling your soul to the devil”.

  13. I’m so sick of her. She gets a radio show down here in Dallas and now this.

  14. it had to be said

    I just hope Lamar Odom is not her real father. That’d be awkward as hell.

  15. TW

    WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA.

    DID YOU JUST MAKE A MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE REFERENCE?

    I LOVE YOU.

  16. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    Ben Dover
    Commented on this photo:

    MOOOOOOO

  17. west

    That nasty old battle axe sure got around. Irene, a poster on Janet Charlton, originally pointed out the obvious relationship between the fat one and the hair dresser in the I love my friends video. The scummier these assholes become the more money they make. Really who cares who the cow’s father is?

  18. Sean

    Who watches this shit?
    Seroiusly, I don’t know one person that watches these asshats. Bloody hell, I don’t even know anyone who watchs E! .

    • Spider

      I kept wondering why they were famous. Then I learned about the show and still wondered why they were famous. (In all honesty I watched one episode. I’ve been in therapy ever since.)

  19. west

    There should be a rule-if you lie once on a reality Tv show you’re off the air. I thought the cartoonist was the father? Or was it OJ?Or was it Ryan,the producer? Or was it Bruce? I will have a party if somebody takes this whole family out-Travis Bickle style!

  20. Canada Guy

    Doing the deed wirh Kris Jenner would be pretty much the same as doing a tranny, so I guess its believable.
    Besides, Khloe seems like the only one that has any personality or common sense, so she really doesnt belong in that bunch anyways.

  21. cindy

    She’s got enough money – she should tell her mom to fuck off.

  22. cando

    looks like cletus

  23. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    She was great in Married With Children

  24. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    This explains the 5.0 felt in Hawaii

  25. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    Commented on this photo:

    what am i looking at

  26. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    Ugh
    Commented on this photo:

    A male hair dresser who had sex with a lady-type? I’ll believe the OJ story before I’d believe that one.

  27. WeHo

    Alex is GAY you morons!

  28. Will someone please throw her a Goodyear tire to chew on, she already went threw the four tires from last week.

  29. Stephanie

    Wow! They do look alike!! DNA TEST DNA TEST!!

  30. cc

    Expect lots of Jacks Links product placement.

  31. drunk again

    I thought Wilt Chamberlain was her father..

  32. Maury Povich was asked to guest-host the episode but turned them down because he didn’t want to compromise his professional dignity.

  33. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    Famous Plastic
    Commented on this photo:

    OMFG. And these girls claim to be fashionistas/designers? Super gross.

  34. whip

    please get rid of this FAT hare lip.
    SHE EVEN GOT THE NERVES TO THINK SOMETHING IS ATTRACTIVE ON HER.

  35. oh god it IS her father

    ^the win right there

  36. oh god it IS her father

    i meant the maury comment

  37. So basically what I get out of this is, raging cunts hide the identities of their real baby daddies in the names of their kids. Just no one tell Xander Dane Jones!

  38. Mondo Gecko

    OJ did it.

  39. guest

    Its okay for you to make a buck deningrating people? How about you go away.

  40. Jon Hex

    FOX News is reporting that Barack Obama is the baby daddy.

  41. Spider

    Chewie can relax. He’s not the father. That is until the ratings die down again.

  42. plywood

    I think her dad is Hugh Jass.

  43. Rob

    This woman sounds like my parents. They always cared about themselves first before any of their children. i hope Khloe murders her and gets offf scot-free cause a glove doesn’t fit.

  44. Boo

    Maybe she’s just tall because she has acromegaly. That’d explain the unability to conceived, too.

  45. History is Fun

    They hired him becuase he looks like her to cover up the fact that OJ Simpson is her father. Robert divorced Kris because he found out she was sleeping with OJ.

  46. I love the bitch “She’s going to make a buck off it”

    Fuck yeah she is! Bitch is a smart business woman! You think she made her money by sitting on her ass doing nothing? Fuck no! She exploits her children to make money for them to live comfortably, go to college and get free shit like most other celebrities. Kudos to Kris for using every available resource she has to make her millions. She doesn’t care if you know about her affairs. She doesn’t care if you see her at her worst. She makes the best out of bad situations. Bladder incontinence? Fuck it – be a spokesperson for the pantyliners. You fucking people only wish you could do the same. Give the woman props – seriously. She might be a complete moron in most cases, but she’s a badass business woman!

    • oh i know

      she doesn’t “make the best out of bad situations”, she offers them up to the highest bidder. And it’s not just HER mistakes she exploits, but her KIDS–you know, the people she is supposed to PROTECT?? i’m surprised she’s not offering up the viriginty of the younger girls, but hey, she’s not done yet, this “badass business woman”….she is nothing but a breeder and a pimp–a sorry excuse for a parent and YOU may look up to her but i doubt the rest of us “fucking people” do…

  47. Jade

    The “revelation”??

    Kris’s revelation of “oh yeah, his penis DID fall into my vagina”?

  48. Khloe Kardashian Camel Toe Cleavage
    nurple
    Commented on this photo:

    imagine what that thing does when set free from the confines of titanium-reinforced denim…can’t be pretty

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