K-Fed Says He’s Ready for Backlash

*kevin_federline_thumb5.jpgKevin Federline is ready for a backlash over his brand-new role as white-boy rapper, but told Newsweek that it can’t get worse. “‘He hates his children, he treats his wife like dirt, he gets high all day,'” he said, quoting his critics. “If I was that bad, you think anyone, let alone Britney, would put up with it?”

He plans to release his debut album by this spring, but without featuring his wife on the album, said Federline. “We have collaborated,” he said. “But I’m not going to put the songs on this album because it’s like, ‘Respect me first; then I’ll show you what I’ve done with my wife.'”

We’ve already seen what you’ve done with your wife. You’ve turned her into a talking lump of silly putty. The only thing they could possibly collaborate on is feeding each other doritos out of a banjo. Which, actually, would be much more entertaining to listen to than Kevin’s music. With tracks like “I can’t see my feet”, “There’s still some in my belly-button”, and “What do you mean these are my fat pants?”