Kevin Smith’s gut is a terrorist

February 15th, 2010 // 70 Comments

Clerks director Kevin Smith was kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight Saturday night after a flight attendant essentially deemed him too fat to fly. The airline has a policy about not allowing passengers on who can’t put both armrests down which they used as a benchmark for their decision. The incident turned into a PR nightmare shortly afterward when they allowed Kevin to catch another flight which proved he wasn’t a flight risk and they basically embarrassed him in front of plane full of passengers for no reason.

If you’ve gone within ten feet of the Internet in the past 24 hours, you’ve probably been bombarded in the face with Kevin Smith’s non-stop documenting of the incident where he’s been kicking Southwest in the plane testicles. Obviously the airline picked the wrong fatty to kick off for sport – Whatever gets you through the day, that’s my philosophy. – but in hindsight, you’d think they’d want more fat people on board in case the plane went down. A.) Blubber is filling, no questions there and B.) if Lost has taught us anything, it’s that the heavy-set are hilarious and have magic powers. Back me up, rotund gentleman I paid to sit next to me and cover himself in butter. Hey, look, he’s wheezing. Will that summon the dragon?

Photos: Getty
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  1. RtSS

    OMG – First!

  2. BryGuyH

    Okay so why is it that Kevin Smith is flying coach anyway?

  3. joho777

    I guess this proves that Southwest cares about ALL it’s passengers and not just one self-important fatbody.

    And thay got him on a later plane with empty seats so he could squeeze his blubber in to several seats.

    Good for Southwest.

  4. Fucking Fatass has-been used up hack.

    The guy is so morbidly obese he broke a toilet into pieces by sitting on it. Story here:

    http://www.azcentral.com/ent/celeb/articles/2008/10/31/20081031smith.html

  5. Greenman

    So, instead of bitching, why doesn’t that fat fuck just lose the weight?

  6. why not

    Southwest Airlines, on their own twitter page, jovially called him, “Not So Silent Bob” since he’s been turning his shame and embarrassment into angry, retaliatory tweets defending his 500 pound ass.

    Hopefully, Kevin “perpetual munchies” Smith will soon experience a myocardial infarction, sparking a whimper of concern and a 12 hour film tribute on Spike. Dick and Fart Jokes! Yeah!

  7. dru2u

    I’m OK with Southwest kicking his fat ass off the plane. But not for being a disgusting blob. But for being the director of CopOut. For that they have every right to kick him off a plane…………………. preferably at 30,000 feet.

  8. Vor

    They were probably just scared AssZilla here would explode the airplane toilet.

  9. cambria

    LOL #7. Nice.

  10. Fat Fat Fatty

    Goddamned self-important Hollywood babies.

    No one said he’s too fat to fly, just too fat to get away with buying one seat. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask fatties who spill out of their own seat into an adjoining one to pay for the extra seat or take another flight where they can purchase two seats.

  11. Elmyro

    He’s clearly fat enough to impinge on his fellow passengers’ comfort, and in an emergency he’d dam up the evacuation. The girth limits as set by the FAA have been too lax for too long, it’s about time fat people his size were targeted. On a related note, he is disgusting to look at.

  12. jzz

    I wouldn’t want to sit next to that Fat Fuck.
    I have no sympathy for that rich fat bitch.
    good for southwest.

  13. Brian

    This fuckingfatfuck should be embarrassed to admit to the world that his fatfuckingass is too god-damned fat to sit in an airplane seat without overflowing into the seat next to him!

    Loose some goddamn weight you fatbastard!

  14. I've got a crush on the GW

    Kevin Smith is freaking amazing, he should have his own plane with supersized seats.

  15. Emaciated Ethiopian flying coach next to Kevin Smith on southwest

    The seats in first class are roomy for a reason, you cheap gluttonous fuck. I hate it when a shitty director’s elbows invade my personal space and block the aisle.

  16. Matrim

    Jeez, everyone needs to go ahead and calm the fuck down…

  17. Carlos

    I’ve had the misfortune of having a fat person’s side blubber invade my seat when she sat down (on a SWA flight). It’s truly uncomfortable. Seriously, if she’s gonna occupy a third of my seat (arm rest had to come up), she should pay for a third of my seat. Same goes for fat fuck Kevin Smith. Get as angry as you want, Kevin, but you’re infringing on the rights of non-fat-fuck customers when you plop your corpulence in a seat. Airline seats are small enough as it is. There’s nothing we can do about that, but you can stop consuming so many calories and exercise once in a while.

  18. Fati87

    Fat people are society’s burden. Not to mention GROSS.

  19. I totally agree he was mistreated by Southwest. That being said, does he wear jorts every fucking day?

  20. JR

    He’s been joking for years how fat he is, so why hasn’t he ever taken action to get himself healthy? It’s not from a lack of money or time. Motherfucker puts out a movie once every five years and spends the interim smoking pot.

    I’m not a fan of people who bitch about their problems rather than do something about them. If fucking Kevin Federline can check his lard ass into Celebrity Fit Club, so can he.

  21. Thomas

    I’m six one 170 pounds.

    Whose fault is it he is a big tub o lard?

    His and his alone.

  22. Crabby Old Guy

    From looking at his photo, I would have thought he’d be more at home traveling by sea – as long as he stayed away from Capt. Ahab.

    In the immortal words of Dean Vernon Wormer, “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”

  23. They would have been justified for kickng him off just based on the clothes he’s wearing! What the hell is up with those jean “shorts?”

  24. Winged Vermin

    #22 – Bingo!
    Kevin Smith needs to shut his fat pseudo-celeb piehole.
    Stupid whiner sounds like a pudgy misfit bitch on the rag.

  25. joho777

    Here’s a really simple rule, Kevin: If you want to gain weight, eat more food. If you want to lose weight, eat less.

    Or did I go too fast for you?

  26. Adam

    few things folks:

    He fitted within the arm rests of the seat and did not press into other people

    He doesn’t drink, so he wasn’t drunk #22

    He was more annoyed about the treatment a fellow passenger received on the second flight. A heavy girl was taken aside and chastised for not buying two seats, even though she was sitting beside Kevin’s extra empty seat. There was no need for it, other than to make the girl feel bad.

    The flight didn’t have a first class section, that’s why he flew coach.

    All you twats that think it’s ok to unleash these verbally abusive tirades on people from the safety of your computer chair because they’re fat need a fucking compassion reboot. They’re still human beings at the end of the day, just because they’re bigger than us doesn’t make them some sub-species we can just unload on any time we feel like it.

    If you want the whole story go to his smodcast.com site and download the latest podcast (107)

  27. I think I sat next to this guy on a flight from SF to SLC and he was playing with his cock the entire flight. I had to go to the toilet and rub one out halfway through the flight so I could relax. It’s not he first time I have joined the right hand mile high club.

    Later,

    Mitch

  28. Rough on ice

    Whats with all the discrimination? If we can built wheelchair ramp for handicaps, whats wrong with a few double wide seats in the back of an airplane. No wonder china is leading in the global market, we keep failing @ seeing the BIG PICTURE….

  29. Lola

    I think you all are missing the point, he was ridiculed in front of people for no reason.
    He could seat down with both arms rest down and he had his seatbelt buckled when they escorted him out of the plane, so it was unnecessary for them to do that to him. I agree there are some extremely large people that SHOULD buy two seats but this wasn’t the case so fuck SWA and their fucking discriminatory rules.

    For the ones calling him a lard ass stop being so fucking shallow, if you are looked like super models you wouldn’t be online reading this shitty website to begin with, this is what wrong with America, you’re all fucking empty headed shallow and ignorant.

  30. abby

    I don’t know what’s worse Southwest’s inability to accommodate their passengers or the people on this site and their opinions. Shame on you guys.

    Are people still bent out of shape for spending Valentine’s Day alone?

  31. medi0169

    Kevin…Eat a carrot you tub-a-shit.

  32. abby

    FYI- If a individual, company or their representation essentially embarrasses you. You can sue them for defamation of character. I hope Kevin exercises his rights as Southwest has theirs.

  33. Definitely pretty humiliating, but not nearly so humiliating as “Mallrats.”

  34. MrChips

    Lola: you sound fat.

  35. dave

    the funny thing is that all of the faggots talking shit on here about kevin are most likely fat cunts themselves. unfortunately unlike kevin you’re all losers with awful lives, personalities and no money. hence venting your anger and frustration via the internet, anonymously.

    lol

  36. Objac

    Wow, an ass-ton of you guys just don’t bother to hear out the whole story.

    It’s just “FuckFatSmith” over and over, give it a rest.

  37. MrChips

    You, too Abby. And ditto Adam.

  38. dude

    Lola: I can hear the wind whistling into your blubberous mouth as your cheeks wattle with another peal of drunken laughter between bites of Twinkie.

    I.E., shut up you fat bitch.

  39. Furious D

    Great idea for a movie. In the hands of a self-important amateur hack like Smith, it is sure to be an overrated, unfunny waste of time and money that a very small audience of moron followers will rave about.

  40. Kevin Smith

    I had no idea the real Kevin Smith would log on here so many times and defend himself.

    What? Kevin’s been bitching about the incident for days online like a 12 year old pussy?

    Oh wait, yeah I did.

  41. Lola's Twat is the size of Lake Erie

    Y’know who’s loving this? Kevin Smith’s underpublicized ass. And his agent is buying his publicist a steak lunch right now.

  42. Helena Handbasket

    Why not resolve this incident quietly, have an honest moment of reflection, and then try to lose a little weight? Now he has the humiliation of being a crybaby on top of being a fatty.

    I was crammed into a window seat next to a big stinking hunk of flesh that couldn’t buckle the seat belt – I thought this would get her removed but the attendant and the fatty looked at each other like “oh well, wft” and moved on. Her belly was pressed right up against the seat in front of her, her purse perched on top of her tits the entire flight. YES, she got the armrest down, jammed somewhere among her rolls of fat. I felt suffocated, claustrophobic, unsafe, the whole entire flight. She tried to make conversation and I just couldn’t do it. Other passengers looked at me embarrassed and shaking their heads …. the fatty was in her own little world, total denial of the situtation.

    Sorry, Kevin. You’re a no-fly zone.

  43. AnnaDraconida

    He needs to lose some weight instead of being a butthurt crybaby, FFS.

  44. John

    Love how people just make unfounded assumptions and use it as a way to insult Smith.

    Bottom line is this. There is a test. **HE PASSED.**

    Yes, if someone is impacting the comfort of other passengers there should be steps taken. This was simply not in the case in this instance. Even the people to the side of him expressed that it wasn’t a problem.

    It’s these sort of uninformed and knee jerk reactions that are destroying the U.S. piece by piece..

  45. lolz

    nerds are just mad because kevin smith is rich and famous and they are nobodies talking shit on the internets.

  46. AnnaDraconida

    within a decade or two, 75% of the US will be overweight anyway, so all the airlines are gonna have to use extra-large planes with extra large seats and everyone will be happy.

  47. Covert Koala

    What’s more cruel, being kicked off an airplane for being fat, or having to cram into a theater seat to watch one his crappy movies (clerks 1 & 2 not included)? I think they should have taken him up and dumped his dumbo drop ass somewhere over the Grand Canyon (and if you’ll look out the left side of the plane you’ll see Kevin Smith’s sequel to Dogma). FLIGHT NOW BOARDING FOR YOU WHEDON!!!

  48. duke

    #26 Wow let us know when you’re done pulling his ass hair out of your teeth!

  49. Miriam Charleston

    Look, yeah, he’s fat. He knows it. He says it. He owns it. Duh. Point is, SW has been busted for their aggressive attempts to humiliate their passengers. You have a policy for overweight passengers? Great. More power to you. That said, this does not give a corporation the right to humiliate or berate their customers, ever. This crosses the line of policy into bullying and, frankly, is inexcusable no matter the reasoning. In what universe is it ever acceptable to treat a customer in such a manner?

  50. Jeff

    He should pour all that energy into losing weight instead of complaining about the situation. What a fat jerk. And Obama wants us to pay for his health care too. Fat jerk should lose weight and not contribute so much to global warming.

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