Kevin Smith tells really filthy secrets

mewes-ritchie-do-it.jpgKevin Smith was giving a talk at a school recently and dropped a few stories about how Jason Mewes (Jay from Jay & Silent Bob) used to be a hardcore heroin addict but when he officially cleaned up a few years ago he started getting way more ass, including a romp with Nicole Richie.

“I fuck a lot more,” Smith said Mewes said, “and remember it more. But I fuck a lot shorter too.” Apparently one of his remembered sexcapades was everyone’s favorite walking stick, Nicole Richie, who, and I quote, “pulled Jay into a bathroom and just sat on his dick and started going at it.” While he ejaculated in approximately 30 seconds and it was “running all over her back,” she didn’t notice because she “had had a few drinks or something.” By “drinks,” I’m sure he was meant “blow” but didn’t say it since that would have been a confusingly false sex pun.

I used to think Kevin Smith was a pretty cool guy, but that was before I found out he wanders around schools making up stories about how his friends do it with Nicole Richie. True or not, that’s not something you want people thinking actually happened. He might as well have told everybody he secretly masturbates to Hitler.