Kevin Smith is so fat…

The Superficial / October 20, 2008

Kevin Smith has committed himself to losing weight after he wraps up doing press for his latest film Zack and Miri Make a Porno. On his blog he writes, “I’ve porked the f**k out, man. I’m really, really fat right now. Fattest I’ve ever been.” Kevin also revealed to WENN (via IMDB) about the life-changing incident that set him on this path:

The Clerks director was playing poker at a friend’s Los Angeles DVD and comic book store when he was taken short and excused himself. But when he saw the toilet bowl, which jutted out from a wall, he feared the worst – and the worst happened.
Red-faced Smith recalls, “That kind of toilet, with no base, is no friend to a fat man.”
And when he sat on the lavatory, it groaned and creaked and then came away from the wall.
“The contents of the bowl was dangerously (rocking in the bowl). I’m trapped, I’m panicked and I hear somebody, like, on the other side of the door going, ‘Everything Ok in there?’ I’ve gotta throw myself off the toilet… and I do it and I hit the door.”
Eventually, his pal came to see what the commotion was: “I just point to the bowl and he looks at it and looks at the terror in my face and he realises we have a business relationship together and he goes, ‘Nobody ever needs to know about this.’ That was the moment, where I was like, ‘I got to lose some weight.’ I broke the porcelain in half.”

Good God. Though I gotta say, if I were Kevin Smith, the incident that would’ve scared me right onto the treadmill would’ve been the day I looked down and went “When did my penis turn into a bucket of KFC?” Unless of course chicks dig that. In which case, ladies?

Thanks to Sean who’s not even supposed to be here today.

Photo: WENN