Kevin Smith lashed out at Joel Siegel after the movie critic stormed out of a screening of Clerks II during a scene where the characters are discussing hiring woman to perform sexual favors on a donkey. Siegel got out of his seat and yelled: “Time to go! First movie I’ve walked out of in 30 [bleeping] years!” In response, Kevin Smith wrote on his MySpace:
“Getting a bad review from Siegel is like a badge of honor. This is the guy who stole his mustachioed-critic shtick from Gene Shalit years ago, and still refuses to give it back. This is a guy who seemingly prides himself on his own nyuk-nyuk wordplay. For ‘Pirates 2,’ he made us all titter with ‘Yo, Ho, Ho and a Bottle of Fun’ . . . He made us squeal with delight when he wrote, ‘Wheelie Good Time for “Cars.” ‘ I mean, Fozzy [bleeping] Bear laughs at this guy.”
And there’s more: “I don’t need Joel Siegel to [bleep] my [bleep] the way he apparently [bleeps] M. Night Shyamalan’s, gushing over his flick ['The Lady in the Water'] before he’s even seen it, but [bleep] man, man – how about a little common [bleeping] courtesy? You never, never disrupt a movie, simply because you don’t like it. Cardinal rule of moviegoing: Shut your [bleeping] mouth while the movie’s playing.
“I don’t come down to your job and slap the taste out of your mouth for coming up with a line like, ‘ “Shark Tale” Is a Halibut Good Time’ – so don’t [bleep] with my stuff while it’s still screening . . . What are you, a 12-year-old boy cutting loose with your pals at a Friday night screening of ‘Scary Movie’ 4′ while your parents are in a theater down the hall watching ‘The Devil Wears Prada’? Leave the diva-like behavior and drama-queen antics to the movie stars, not the movie reviewer, ya’ rude-ass [bleep].”
If you didn’t read the entire thing you should. And if you’re suddenly interested in hearing more from Kevin Smith you should check out this clip of him discussing Superman. You won’t be disappointed. Unless you really really hate looking at fat people.
Fugurself | July 19, 2006 at 4:38 pm
What a fat tub of goo.
spatz | July 19, 2006 at 4:40 pm
told you.
pinky_nip | July 19, 2006 at 4:41 pm
I fucking can’t WAIT for Clerks II. Fuck Joel Siegel and his tighty-whiteys. That guy wouldn’t know fun if it slapped him in the face. Wait, he wouldn’t even know a hot cunt if it slapped him in the face.
FeldBum | July 19, 2006 at 4:45 pm
That’s the most “bleeps” I’ve ever seen in one paragraph.
jrzmommy | July 19, 2006 at 4:45 pm
so basically Joel Siegel is now going to be treated like Megan Harris by all the Clerks fans, Kevin Smith fans, Jay and Silent Bob fans. poor fucker. should have just kept his pie hole shut.
TatorTot | July 19, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Good for him.
TatorTot | July 19, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Good for him.
Jacq | July 19, 2006 at 4:49 pm
I love when people act like assholes and you can insult them with stuff that they said themselves. Like Edna and Sherry.
BarbadoSlim | July 19, 2006 at 4:50 pm
Hahahahaha snoooogens, seriously, film critics don’t come in a gayer flavor than Joel Seigel (except maybe Roeper)so fuck him up his stupid ass.
Kevin could stand to lose a little weight though.
spatz | July 19, 2006 at 4:52 pm
dont forget O&A fans
theparanoir | July 19, 2006 at 4:55 pm
rock on kevin smith, rock on
Dean | July 19, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Kevin Smith pwns Joel Siegel – priceless. What a bag of douche Siegel is. Smith is right – you don’t break the cardinal rule of movie-going and ruin it for everyone else. What an assclown. Good thing I never listen to Siegel’s reviews anyway, and now I know they’re invalid because he doesn’t even give the entire movie a fair chance.
Jacq | July 19, 2006 at 4:57 pm
I don’t listen to reviews, if I want to see a movie I’m gonna watch it. I don’t defer to some crotchty old fuck to tell me what’s what. I honestly expect that, for the most part, our opinions would be polar opposites. If he spends any more time on it though, he’s a douche. Say your piece and keep your fat ass moving.
jrzmommy | July 19, 2006 at 4:59 pm
Siegel got little uncomfortable talking about fucking donkeys….he felt like everyone knew his secret and got paranoid and hauled ass out of the theater.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | July 19, 2006 at 5:12 pm
This might be interesting if I was both an idiot and a homo faggot.
However I am neither. Weird.
Fugurself | July 19, 2006 at 5:13 pm
#14, I agree with you but I also think
Kevin’s hungry, and has been dissed by one of the most paranoid movie reviewers, of course he is going to be cranky!
UNWASHEDMASSES | July 19, 2006 at 5:18 pm
I’m not sure what’s worse, having a queerby like Joel Siegel walk out of your film, or actually responding to it. I think fatboy is a bit touchy after his last few films have been little more than tax write-offs.
bigponie | July 19, 2006 at 5:22 pm
he looks like cartman ordering a bag of cheesy-poofs
Skip Smith | July 19, 2006 at 5:26 pm
>>”This might be interesting if I was both an idiot and a homo faggot.
However I am neither. Weird.”
That *is* weird, because after reading your posts I thought for sure you were an idiot, homo faggot.
jane's eyre | July 19, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Where can I get hair like that? It looks all soft n’ fuzzy like those little naked trolls’ hair.
jane's eyre | July 19, 2006 at 5:29 pm
I think Kevin and Joel should kiss and fuck up.
Spindoc | July 19, 2006 at 5:29 pm
What did the critic think he was doing? Even at the Cannes Film Festival where films get booed critics, if they don’t want to stay, quietly get up and leave….what a dick to make a big grand exit.
attraction-chronicles.blogspot.com | July 19, 2006 at 5:30 pm
Eh, whatever. Kevin needs to get over it and accept donkey shows aren’t that great of comedy. Get some better ideas.
januaryanne | July 19, 2006 at 5:38 pm
I can not believe that somehow I feel like I want to see Clerks 2 now.
What happened when Kevin Smith started criticizing critics? His movie got cool.
Still, I side with him. Why? Because I’ll probably never be able to forget the line “A halibut good time.”
justme | July 19, 2006 at 5:40 pm
I just hope Kevin Smith isn’t trying to reach the obnoxious 14 year olds with this movie.
HolisticWisdomcom | July 19, 2006 at 5:46 pm
Kevin Smith is one of the crudest film makers around and it is his over the top scenes and intelligent film making that I love so much about him. Anyone who sees a Kevin Smith movie knows they are going to be presented with crude humor at some point and often times throughout the entire film. He does this to make a point, to stir up discussion and controversy and to press the buttons of overly conservative types that take themselves too seriously. Someone who goes to one of his films not expecting this is clearly not a very bright film critic. By the way, I can
MaryBackstayge | July 19, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Kevin Smith is a hack, and so is Joel Siegel.
Joel Siegel is a boring schmaltzy film critic.
Kevin Smith is a self-important pretentious git who makes really, really crappy movies.
They should just get married.
Jacq | July 19, 2006 at 5:53 pm
I saw a picture of Mr. Molestache and he looks pertty old. Maybe he just wanted to make a big splash so that everyone would know that he’s not dead.
deluxxe | July 19, 2006 at 5:55 pm
Wow! a film critic walked out of Clerks II because of a vulgar joke??? WTF was he expecting? it’s CLERKS II for christs sake!
Welcome to redicule for the rest of your life, Joel Siegel. what a dumba$$. Never underestimate legions of fanboys.
BarbadoSlim | July 19, 2006 at 6:03 pm
I won’t try to sell Smith to anyone, you either love his work or you don’t. I enjoy it immensely. Anyway, Kevin and Joel went at it on Opie and Anthony, predictably, Joel came out looking like the douchebag he is. Here’s a link
http://www.viewaskew.com/kevin/joelsiegel.mp3
Nikk The Templar | July 19, 2006 at 6:08 pm
You know if Kevin Smith had said that about Roger Ebert, there would be a fat man war.
It’d be like a cross between a bad Godzilla movie and sumo wrestling on speed.
Shelley Bonnechance | July 19, 2006 at 6:29 pm
I think Kevin Smith threw a big hissy fit that made him look ridiculous. For someone who claims to hate Joel Seigel so much, he sure seems to have spent a lot of time reading his movie reviews. My gosh, he’s even memorized the titles of some of them.
And Joel Seigel is a pompous hack with a vastly inflated sense of his own skills as a writer. ”Yo ho ho and a bottle of fun,” indeed.
I think they’re both idiots.
Italian Stallion | July 19, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Did you guys know Jesus was a jew?
herbiefrog | July 19, 2006 at 6:39 pm
i love it when you can
destroy a ficticious
[or maybe facticious]
character
by
telling
exactly
the truth
eat that suckers : )
lovin it
Sir Psycho Sexy | July 19, 2006 at 6:46 pm
32. No need to memorize, he probably just went to Siegel’s site :
http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/JoelSiegel/
33. Technically, so is my schlong.
herbiefrog | July 19, 2006 at 6:50 pm
#24 cocaine’s a helluva drug
…ain’t it : )))
oh sorry…
i thoiught you said
a helluva good line… :)
diamondprynzez | July 19, 2006 at 7:02 pm
Damn, Herbiefrog, that the Stanford Prison Experiment wasn’t ethical.
I heard one of the after affects was “…incoherent babbling to avail…”
diamondprynzez | July 19, 2006 at 7:03 pm
Damn, Herbiefrog, that the Stanford Prison Experiment wasn’t ethical.
I heard one of the after affects was “…incoherent babbling to no avail…”
snclfe | July 19, 2006 at 7:04 pm
Complain about Joel Siegel here: http://abc.go.com/site/contactus.html?cat=Good%20Morning%20America
diamondprynzez | July 19, 2006 at 7:05 pm
I said it twice because it was really important.
4th Horseman | July 19, 2006 at 7:11 pm
so the characters in Clerks were talking about paying Lohan to fuck a donkey? Maybe Siegel is just an animal lover…
jFp | July 19, 2006 at 7:11 pm
I hate it when 2 Queens get their feathers (boa) ruffled up.
p.s. Smith isn’t as great as he thinks he is. He closed the book on Jay&Silent Bob until his last 2 movies bombed then thought better of it ($$). He needs to get his head out of jays ass.
Getitstraight | July 19, 2006 at 7:14 pm
I often wondered who the fuck goes to those stupid, insipid movies like Clerk I/II/III, etc. I guess I got my question answered by reading some of these comments. Joel and Kevin are a pair of fucking idiots as is everyone who thinks either one of them is relevent to the movie industry.
snclfe | July 19, 2006 at 7:20 pm
Also encourage MGM to ban Joel Siegel from future screenings: http://www.mgm.com/help.do
bigponie | July 19, 2006 at 7:24 pm
I’d rather be a porn film critic and get invitations to the AVN awards in vegas
and oh yeah JSLTC…
Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | July 19, 2006 at 7:25 pm
LMAO . That was pretty funny. Kevin Smith has a couple of good flicks to his name but he has put out some stinkers as well( mall rats, Jersey girl) but I really liked Clerks. But by going by his track record Clerks II will probably suck.
Oh yeah, lose some weight fat boy before you have a heart attack humping your wife. Now that would be a shame.
LL | July 19, 2006 at 7:30 pm
Clerks 2 probably sucks, but so what? Has Joel Siegel never seen a Kevin Smith movie? Damn, anybody who’s seen the promos knows there’s a reference to donkey sex. Where has Siegel been the last month? Or the last 20-30 years? What a tard, but then, I knew that. I’d rather watch donkey-human sex than a review by him, the guy who isn’t Roger Ebert on Ebert’s show or Gene Shalit. If you can’t review a movie without making a pun, you should quit and spend the rest of your life feeding pigeons in the park.
cibby | July 19, 2006 at 7:35 pm
heh ‘Halibut of a good time’…
Kevin Smith used to be a funny guy… but still?
Jacq | July 19, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Considering this is the first time that he’s walked out of a movie in, what, 30 years – I guess he didn’t screen Jersey Girl?
BarbadoSlim | July 19, 2006 at 7:42 pm
The thing is, Kevin, if you’ve ever seen or heard any of his interviews or Q&A’s is the first to admit he’s not that great. So call him fat(he’s a lard ass), call him foul-mothed or whatever but don’t call him a self aggrandizer ’cause he’s not. And boy knows how to write dialogue.
He is however, very open to his fans which is something that you can’t say about 99% of filmakers.
When I go see a Kevin Smith I know exactly what I’m getting.