Kevin Jonas gets to touch a vagina soon!

July 1st, 2009 // 28 Comments

- Kevin Jonas is engaged to his girlfriend of two years, and holy shit, is that an eternity of dry-humping. A lesser man would’ve shot himself. (Read: This guy.) [Pink is the New Blog]

- Gwyneth Paltrow’s mouth continues to be a never-ending stream of smarm. [PopSugar]

- Lindsay Lohan calls Justin Timberlake’s clothing line a “Macy’s brand” and “gross” on Twitter which would almost be an insult if Lindsay could afford to shop at Macy’s and wasn’t, well, Lindsay. [Lainey Gossip]

- Karen Mulder of Victoria’s Secret fame was arrested for making “vicious” phone calls to her plastic surgeon. Because insulting the man who holds a knife over your unconscious body is always smart. Well played. [Celebslam]

- Hilary Duff is joining the cast of Gossip Girls. Great. Now who’s going to play Meghan McCain in the Lifetime original movie Sarah Palin Fucked Me Out of My Own Room at the White House? [Just Jared]

- Mandy Moore on the cover of Women’s Health looks absolutely nothing like Mandy Moore. Unless she’s a 35-year-old housewife now. Then maybe. [I’m Not Obsessed]

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. captain america

    getoutahere, HE PREFERS PENIS’, folks?

  2. These little clips of stories aren’t working for me

    Kevin Jonas wouldnt know what to do with a vagina har har

  3. joe

    I am a nice man. In the past I was always seeking my love. A friend told me a platform-

    ========sugarmommamatch. C o m =========where I knew my ideal match, a beautiful and

    gentle woman. I hope more and more people can get happiness there. I believe “All shall

    be well, and Jack shall have Jill”.
    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

  4. kauai

    Paltrow is always good for a laugh. That’s what happens when you have a 12th grade education and convince yourself that you’re culturally sophisticated.

  5. Lindsay Lohan calls Justin Timberlake’s clothing line a “Macy’s brand” and “gross” on Twitter which would almost be an insult if Lindsay could afford to shop at Macy’s and wasn’t, well, Lindsay.
    http://www.plusfirt.com
    welcome to here .you can learn about more and more .

  6. Lindsay Lohan calls Justin Timberlake’s clothing line a “Macy’s brand” and “gross” on Twitter which would almost be an insult if Lindsay could afford to shop at Macy’s and wasn’t, well, Lindsay.

    http://www.Plusfirt.com
    welcome to here .you can learn about more and more .

  7. Lindsay Lohan calls Justin Timberlake’s clothing line a “Macy’s brand” and “gross” on Twitter which would almost be an insult if Lindsay could afford to shop at Macy’s and wasn’t, well, Lindsay.

    http://www.Plusflirt.com
    welcome to here .you can learn about more and more .

  8. blp

    But he IS a vagina and I’m sure he’s been touching himself for years.

  9. Darth

    Do we really believe that they’re still virgins? *Shakes head*

  10. purplepanties

    I find I’m the only one that finds him the most attractive Jonas brother, mmmm, he’s yummy.

  11. ToTellTheTruth

    He’s the ugly brother…

  12. who’s vagina? haha

  13. pappy

    twas the night of the wedding and all through the night
    the vagina was ready all nice and tight
    the pubes had been trimmed with greatest of care
    in hopes the kevin would soon lose his vcard down there
    kevin in his pjs and her in her gown
    she lifted it up and kevin made a big frown
    what was the problem? why did kevin despair?
    He cried out, “It smells like fresh tuna down there”
    Out the front door he flew like a flash
    He gone in his car tryin not to crash
    that little, young man so nimble and quick
    was had just realized he preferred the dick!

  14. uh

    pappy, you’re a poet!!

  15. I love the jonas bros.

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  18. When Macys overall brand? Their shit is expensive as some crap. Lindsay and im kinda cuz I really think that celebs didn’t like that I wonder. Especially those who did not like him.

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