Kevin Federline wants the kids

July 25th, 2007 // 85 Comments

After a string of erratic behavior, Kevin Federline reportedly wants sole custody of the kids and is refusing to sign a joint custody agreement with Britney Spears. The Scoop has a roundup of Britney’s recent lunacy:

Spears was recently spotted driving with her younger son Jayden facing forward in his car seat, not backward as federal guidelines require. And earlier this month, he was photographed grabbing his mother’s cigarettes. On July 18, she stripped to her skivvies on a beach in front of photographers and reports of bizarre behavior at an OK! magazine shoot have friends seriously worried about the Toxic singer. Spears wants K-Fed to sign a joint custody agreement, but he’s reportedly refused. “Kevin is convinced she’s not fit to raise the kids,” an insider told the mag. “He’s done tolerating her behavior and is gearing up to fight for full custody.”

I’m not even sure why Britney wants the kids. They seem like they’d just get in her way. Besides, even if she does get custody, sooner or later she’s just going to trade them in for some magic beans. Or regular beans. Or, let’s be serious for a moment, a ham sandwich.


  1. wedgeone

    Ham sandwich … with lots of mayo, knowing her. Good one, Fish.

  2. Victor's Little Dick

    Ohhhh I came to soon and am the first one here. Well it is not that first time this has happened

  3. LL

    Jebus, not much more to say about this other than when K-Fed is the voice of reason, that’s sad. Nothing against him necessarily, he’s not dad of the year, but damn…

  4. cakes191

    haha. She’s actually wearing clothes.

  5. Tim

    I predicted this (KFed protecting the kids by going for full custody) a year ago.

    Yeah right. Honestly, who the hell would have predicted this, back when he was the world’s most despised wigger? It’s rendered jrzmommy speechless. Soon there will be 4 horsemen…

  6. LayDeeBug

    Finally, a better dress.

    Federline saw this coming. He is smarter than we give him credit for. I know some truly tacky people who are great parents. He must be one.

    Methinx Federline left first and BS (suitable initials, no?) quickly filed for divorce in order to save Ass-face.

  7. whitegold

    OMG, I can’t imagine what could possibly be worse than letting Kevin Federline raise these kids…oh, wait, yes I can…letting Britney Spears raise these kids!

    But seriously now, why do they even need the custody battle? K-fed could probably just show up one day and sneak them out of the house and BS wouldn’t even realize they were gone. I mean, when does she ever see the kids anyways? One afternoon she might wake up out of her drug induced comma and think “oh, it sounds quieter in here, I like that”, and that would be about the extent to which she’d notice that the kids weren’t around anymore!

  8. Rob

    Why do stars have to go all the way to Africa to adopt kids? There are a few right here that would love to have parents. Although they’re still “Hollywood” parents, the kids wouldn’t have to file suit later in life for not having the chance to grow up privileged.

  9. Matthew

    team federline LOL

  10. ts

    She and Lohan should realy just kill themselves already. They’re totally worthless. Rich and worthless, how ironic.

  11. SoYeah

    She is seriously the most pathetic case I’ve seen. Her children are going to spend their teen years horrified, drunk and on drugs. All they’ll have to say is “britney’s my mom” and they’ll be exonerated.

  12. julz

    How long do you think she’ll keep wearing a rag on her head to cover her nappy weave?

  13. Imus

    So, can I call THAT girl a nappy-headed ho??

    Harumph, harumph, uhhh, 7:15.

  14. norton

    A ham sandwich with mayo and Frito’s all smashed inside. And of course a Diet Coke. The best thing for these poor kids would be to be with FedEx… and that is a truly disturbing statement.

  15. Smelly Gostard

    How ’bout some Cheeto’s with that ham sandwich?

    Seriously, this is really sad. Brit must have the same child welfare case worker that let Michael Jackson frolic with little boys. Those kids need foster care. She’s not even providing the bare minimum of care.

  16. Rimmy

    They are both complete jokes. However, Britney threw fame away, Kevin was never there to throw it away. Britney was loaded, Kevin now is because Britney’s a moron. Hate to say it, but Fed-Ex may actually have more brains than I thought.

  17. julz

    #13 Imus – lol. She was a nappy-headed ho LONG before she ever picked up those clippers!

  18. jrzmommy

    Hey, Tim…..I wish a stroke would render you speechless.

  19. Alayney

    Whose that blonde chick walking behind/next to B? Looks JUST like her — looks like she’s walking next to herself in disguise.

  20. Awww Not This Crap Again!

    Giving the children to the lesser of two evils does not solve he problem. While I have not heard anything overly dramatic about either of their parents, I’m thinking that Kev’s and Brit’s parents would be better suited to raise the children…at least in the short term…and as far as stability goes. Once either (if possible) can truly get their act together, and settle down (ie: not partying every night), and actually be there for their children, then the courts could revisit the situation.

    Meanwhile, the children are at very impressionable ages, and are forming associations and relationships with people. They need to know who they can depend on. Kev and Brit, are NOT those people.

    I’ll bet the children think their Nanny/Manny is/are their parents!!! Very sad.

  21. Jane_Says

    Bacon. She’s not giving those kids up until the sandwich is full of bacon.

    We never even see K-fed outside anymore, which makes him the better parent by default.

  22. frisky

    you know, she actually doesn’t look that bad here. Her hair matches her dress purse AND shoes for god’s sake, and she isn’t wearing boots ( only took two months of summer!)
    i kinda think the ok! thing is a stunt, she’s gonna look great in there! all it takes is a stylist and makeup artist and she’s there. all celeb’s look like crap (regular people) before they get their makeup done and shit, give her a break.

    she seemed so sweet and clean a few years ago, (and um, I am FAR from a
    fan of ms. spears) how could this have happened…seriously. She talked coherently, had a sense of humor, a sense of shame, a sense of fashion. Seemed pretty normal for a millionaire pop star. Loved her momma…loved LA ( the state not the town). I don’t know, I think Kevin royally fucked her brain up, that and she’s been missing JT for some time, her life just happened and fell apart so fast, she probably has to read along like the rest of us just to keep up!
    When she was touring she wanted to chill, but that’s not going so well for her…I think she really needs the structure of the tour life but she is so desperate to leave it behind and be “normal” only prob…she doesn’t know what that is!

  23. frisky

    you know, she used to be a state gymnastics competitor! I think she must be on the crack, i mean what else makes a normalish beautiful young girl (with talent) turn into a messy pile of left over chicken??? but then again she still has those perfect teeth, so that can’t be it…really i have to watch the train wreck every day, i want to know what caused it now.

    any thoughts?

    i wish we could all go up to her and give her a bath, de-flea her, and put her in some clothes that fit, then tie her down in her house — black snack moan style and leave her there until she is all dried out, and back down to 105!

  24. Lucy

    I’m just waiting for her to go totally psychotic and kill herself.

  25. LayDeeBug

    #22 frisky – it’s called drugs, booze and the low life.

    Oh and by the way, about her eyes rolling back during the interview, I had a theory. Using ecstasy can cause you to lose control of your eyes. I saw it happen to a guy I know who was rolling his balls off and his eyes were doing that. And maybe she was going to the bathroom to toot up and wake up.

  26. Blubbo Teh Clowns

    Why do they keep calling her the “Toxic” singer in every damned news release about her? She hasn’t been singing jack squat for YEARS now. No one remembers that forgettable garbage from her last (and hopefully final) album anyway.

  27. LayDeeBug

    #23 frisky, contrary to popular belief, people don’t lose their teeth from smoking crack, they lose them from always grinding them together and bad hygiene. Heroin addicts lose their teeth. (For real, look it up)

  28. lulu


  29. stephymz

    This divorce has really been a rough one, hasn’t it? Kevin is just an asshole for going out of his way to humiliate her. Poor Britney.

  30. michelle

    they just need to release these kids into the wild to be raised by wolves. they would be way better off.

  31. wtf???

    I’d like to know why Britney’s hairline keeps receding? Is it the stress? Genetics? Or how her extensions pull her hair so tight? Poor girl, she need to move to a quiet town and start over. Not that there’s anything wrong with L.A., but the girl needs some help!

  32. She needs to take a break from Hollywood.

  33. wastedOne

    Yeah that other girl has a pretty bad complexion too. in your 20′s with acne?
    Drugs be to blame. COKEWHORES

  34. gay4girls

    @8 shut the fuck up. I’m so sick of hearing that. And it doesn’t make any sense here. Kids here suck. “Why don’t they adopt kids here” is the new senselessly bitching about people writing “first/frist/etc.” for fifteen posts. There, I said it.

  35. Hemlock Queen

    Countdown to Britney shaving her head a second time, on my mark….

    Everyone hold on to their umbrella’s, it’s gonna be BIG!

  36. cowgirl

    Come on Gay4girls, we’re more creative than just “first”! Roll your eyes and Look—we are coming up with some original shit out there! Give us our props!Cowgirl up!

  37. I am so lonely!!! Will someone rescue me from this horrible life as Victor’s little Dick?

  38. The Perfect Plan

    I imagine Britney sitting somewhere with a monocle in her eye, gently tapping her fingers together while muttering “excellent.” This was her plan. She’s not crazy, she’s crazy like a fox. A rabid fox. In her fucked up mind, she thinks the kids are blocking her comeback as a pop goddess and what better way to get rid of them than to pawn them off on K-Fug. Which isn’t a bad thing. Someone needs to take those kids away before she goes Susan Smith on their asses.

  39. cowgirl

    #37—I’m on top baby! I think? I can’t feel anything yet? Like it!

  40. mafme

    One solution: Wards of the State. And when they’re old, they could start a bro/sis band with that name. “Live at the Ranch Bowl in Omaha, Nebraska: Wards of the State!”

  41. @39 OH YES BABY!!!!! You feel wonderful! Keep going:)

  42. Brit

    Urge NFL to Do More: Suspend Vick Without Pay Following Michael Vick’s indictment, the NFL has ordered Vick not to come to training camp this year. Please urge the NFL to suspend Vick without pay now. Click here and sign this petition:

  43. Whoever decided to replace Britney Spears with a deranged bag lady has basically been paying Superfish’s rent for about 6 months. It was a brilliant play.

  44. Victor

    FRIST take a break from working and get on here to talk a little.

  45. Isn’t that special Cowgirl and Victor? But tsk tsk—NSFW!

  46. gay4girls

    Hey cowgirl, I don’t mind the beginning stuff. I just hate it when people predictably bitch about it. And then predictably bitch about bitching about it.

    Props given.

  47. Victor

    #45 Churchlady you haven’t replied to your blog.

  48. gay4girlsgirl

    AND props received! Halaluyah! Tammy Faye Baker!

  49. Victor'sDeliciousSchlong

    I get so much ass, it ain’t even funny. wedgeone is a bit of a loser that likes fat redheads. wedgeone has piles of pics of Britney cunt shots that he jerks off too in his room. haha i almost feel bad for him, but not too bad as I blow one off on a Playmate every night.

  50. sweetnsnooty

    Of course, K-Fed wants the kids, that’s a HUGE paycheck for him! Imagine the child support she’d have to pay!

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