Kevin Federline wants money and the kids


Kevin Federline counter-filed court papers yesterday seeking sole custody of their two children as well as – wait for it – spousal support. He says the couple’s community assets are “uncertain” even though Britney Spears said in her divorce papers there were none to speak of because they signed a prenup.

“Kevin is prepared to go the distance in order to do what he feels is necessary to protect and safeguard the children and will not be intimidated or dissuaded from pursuit of those goals,” said Michael Sands, spokesman for Federline’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan.

If this thing goes to court the judge is gonna take a long hard look at Kevin and Britney and just hand custody over to a pair of raccoons he saw at the park. And sure they might have rabies, but that just means they’re only slightly more qualified than either of these two.