Kevin Federline to sell sex tape

November 14th, 2006 // 136 Comments
britney-spears-santa-01-thumb.jpg

In the smartest – and sleaziest – move yet, Kevin Federline is using his alleged 4-hour sex tape with Britney Spears to leverage custody of the children and $30 million. He’s already been offered $50 million by companies wanting to distribute it on the web, but says he’d sell it back to Britney for $30 million and custody of their two kids. A source close to Federline says:

“At the time the two of them were in the honeymoon stages of the relationship and couldn’t keep their hands off each other. They did nothing all day but have sex – and play the odd game of chess. They were insatiable and they believed they would be together forever. Britney didn’t think twice about making the video at the time. She mistakenly believed that their love would last. They adored filming each other. They lived their lives in front of the cameras – even making a short-lived reality TV show of their exploits. Sex was no different to them, it seems. Now this video could prove very costly to her. Millions of people will be prepared to pay to watch. Kevin has told Britney she should comply with his demands otherwise the whole world will see her having sex, which will be devastating. At the moment Kev is in talks with a company in Arizona about putting the four-hour sex vid online. If it all goes to plan he’ll make [$50 million] from it.”

If Britney doesn’t cave and hand over the children I’m sure a judge will. Because when you see a man of such moral character and integrity as Kevin Federline there’s no way you can deny him the privelege of raising children. This guy makes Abraham Lincoln look like Hitler.

And just cause, here are some shots of Britney Spears rocking a Santa hat in mid Novemeber at a New York pharmacy. Don’t ask what’s going on in that above shot, because even God himself wouldn’t be able to tell you.

superficial

  1. so2315

    1st!!

  2. commissioner

    I’m lubed, vibrator ready – bring on the tape!

  3. jrzmommy

    Can they nail him under any RICO laws? Extortion? Anything? What fucknut publically announces he’s blackmailing someone?

    Does she have her finger in her bellybutton? EW!

  4. lesleyannf

    Chess? They’d play CHESS? We are talking about K-fed and Brit-Brit aren’t we?

    Hmm whodathunkit, I thought the best they would be able to muster is twister and cheetos in between the sex.

  5. I DO NOT want to see K-Earls johnson.
    Count me out.

  6. Drusilla

    And i’d like to see Earl Jr., just because it’s the only reason i can think of that he managed to score and keep Britney for this long. Surely without that she could have found someone else to eat cheetos with!

  7. jrzmommy

    I hope his kids go Eric and Lyle on his ass when they grow up.

  8. Boodlelicious

    What a dick! I am soooo not buying one of his cd’s now! ha ha ha ha ha…sorry, couldn’t contain the laughter on that one.

  9. cardio

    “They did nothing all day but have sex – and play the odd game of chess.”

    That would have to be one odd game of chess alright.

    B: I’m gonna move mah little horsey thingy over here.

    K: Well then I’m gonna take my castle thing and stick it up the queen.

    B: Ah can’t take this foreplay anymore! Where’s the camera?!

  10. Italian Stallion

    Who would want to see a 4 hour sex tape of these two? I’m sure 3 hours and 58 minutes of it was them trying to figure out how to get the condom out of the wrapper. With the fact that they have two kid’s, I assume they never figured it out…………

  11. slantingthroughdarkness

    No thanks. There are enough sickening horror movies out there as it is.

    http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

  12. jrzmommy

    Stallion–true dat. hee hee.

    Maybe they played chess like they did on “History of the World”…….King Jump Queen! Knight Jump Queen! Bishop Jump Queen!

  13. lisad71

    Gotta hand it to K-Sped. He was plotting and calculating from Day 1. Ironclad prenup? No problem, when you have an authentic Britney Spears sex tape. The thought of him staying in any place better than a Super 8 and eating Little Debbie snack cakes makes me sick.

  14. cardio

    jrz – it’s good to be da king.

  15. sonreesa

    well clearly k-fed-extortionist can’t live off the tickets to his show, since he’s giving them out, and the album that no one is going to buy. so now he’s going to extort the money out of brit? what a assclown, if he does get custody he’ll need that money for all of his children’s therapy.

  16. Ms. Sass

    Isn’t that blackmail? Anyway, a sex tape might do wonders for Britney’s comeback. Remember Pamela Anderson Lee, she’s a megastar now. Remember Tommie Lee, where is he now? History will repeat itself.

  17. NipsyHustle

    wow, so EARL was cheating on her with hookers. There HAS to be a sex tape and it’s probably the dirtiest, nastiest thing ever. Think about it. There was a prenup which normally is enough to keep a man in line but he was out regularly with hookers using drugs and gambling.

    he must have some good dirt on her to think he could do all these things and still come out golden if she left him.

    if she gives up the kids though, she’s a moron. we already know she’s a sex maniac whore. we watched chaotic. IT WAS ALL SHE TALKED ABOUT. but if she gives up her kids to save her “image” she doesn’t deserve to be a parent in the first place. oh wait, we already have countless evidence to that.

  18. Equalparts

    That’s Bullcrap. That’s illeagal on sooo many fronts, I can’t even name them! Blackmail anyway you look at it, it would never hold up in a court of law and K-Fed would go to prison if he sold it because she didn’t bend. And I highly, highly doubt any company anywhere is going to pay 50 million for it. This story is bullshit.

    HOWEVER, if it IS true, ole Brit sure would learn a hard, cold lesson.

    Hey Brit! I hope that white wedding day you just HAD TO HAVE was worth it. I hope getting to build a nursery you just couldn’t wait a few years and the right hubby for was worth it.

  19. RichPort

    Wow, I find myself at a moral crossroads here.. on the one hand, I admire Earl’s fucked-upedness in trying to milk the cow, on the other hand I want to see a SCUD land on him… hmmmm… this, folks, is the stuff of philosophical renderings, assinine yet artistic. A question for the ages if you will.

    So soon after having her second kid and she struts around in a cropped top showing what appears to be a tasty splooge target? Plastic surgery sure has come a long way…

    Fuck it, let a discerning fan judge for himself. Release the tape!!!

  20. Missallanpoe

    These photos have disturbing and slut written all over them. Kev should be ashamed of himself!…not already accepting the 50 million..what a moron! =D Good ol’ arizona! These photos have disturbing and slut written all over them. Kev should be ashamed of himself!…not already accepting the 50 million..what a moron! =D Good ol’ arizona! <333 reppin the 6.2.3 fuckers.

  21. jrzmommy

    She should say, fine, fuck you, sell the tape…get custody of the kids because no judge on earth will give the kids to him and then turn around and demand child support from his $50 million, AND NOTE TO SHAR JACKSON–HE’LL BE WORTH $50 MILLION YOU CAN START COLLECTION CHILD SUPPORT THEN, TOO. The minute he gets in arrears, throw his ass in jail and he gets his ass beat by a dude named Smiley with a tear drop tattooed under his left eye 5 times a day. By then, the tape? Eh, big fucking deal, you seen it once, you seen it a million times.

  22. Missallanpoe

    PS: jrzmommy and cardio…everything is so greeeeen.

  23. only a moron or Britney Spears would pay that kind of money for a sex tape involving K-Hurl

  24. The reporters might want to check the law. Lawyers can be disbarred and arrested as can K-Fed if he is really saying he will release the tape if she doesn’t hand over the kids. Blackmail is a crime, just ask the photographer that had the topless photos of Cameron Diaz.

  25. Missallanpoe

    and another ps….wtf..someone erased my “reppin the 623″ area code off my first post? Bitches.

  26. jrzmommy

    The servant waits while the Master….bates. I miss Madeline Khan!

  27. cardio

    Missallanpoe, wait for the shake. There. Now piss off.

  28. ponk

    @23 Jrz, i completely agree with your strategy, but this IS Britney Spears we are talking about. No way in popozao she would figure that out for herself.

  29. Missallanpoe

    rofl..”My lord, you look like the piss boy!” “And you look like a bucket of shit!”

    ok ok ok..i’m done…-dies-

  30. cardio

    “I love quicktime Harch”

    Ok, I could do this all day. And I might. But I’ll stop for now.

  31. RichPort

    At least we’d get to see if all those “KFed has a huge cock” comments are true. I for one would be interested in seeing that.

  32. TajAmazon

    If she’s smart, Brit will go ahead and sell the tape herself for $60 million.

  33. cardio

    RichPort – of course it’s true. You can see for yourself! Oh wait, you said *has* a huge cock, not *is* one. Never mind.

  34. pinky_nip

    If I want to watch a couple of retards having sex, I’ll stay at the dorms at the special olympics, not give these two a dime.

  35. RichPort

    marshy, it’s ok to be the flamer that you are all by yourself. Stop involving me in your vindictive fantasies. If you ever see me saying I like anything but chicks, you can be sure I’m being trolled. And it’s getting boring…

  36. IFuckingHateYou

    Since these two are chess masters, I’m sure Brit is already onto her next move.
    She’s going to make a sex tape with Jessica Simpson and release it for free, with all proceeds going to charity. This will kill the K-Fag sex tape right away.

    The only flaw is that someone needs to explain to her that there will be no proceeds from something that is free.

  37. biatcho

    Oh History of the World!!

    “Where are you from”

    “Africa”

    “What part”

    “125th Street”

  38. veggi

    #10!!!!! Funny.

  39. commissioner

    #2

    Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery; I’ll bask in the glow of your adoration all day.

  40. #3

    Hardly. All he has to do, and I’m sure he had this explained to him, is transact the deal offshore. Furthermore, put the transaction money into an offshore account(s). All that could happen to him is possibly getting auditted by the said offshore country’s Patriotic Act partner to ensure he isn’t funding terrorists or something of that nature.

    I have no doubt that he will sell the tape and live very comfortably the rest of his life, probably somewhere like Abu Dhabi. Kind of like Michael Jackson.

  41. jrzmommy

    And that’s what we call the Ethipoian…Shimsham

  42. Stuey75

    i will show their porn no more consideration than the next porn. I will let it get me interested and then proceed to fast forward to the money shot.

    it will probably be lame like the tommy lee pamela anderson one. once you say OMG he’s huge! the magics gone.

  43. cardio

    jrzmommy, you are nuts, N-V-T-S nuts!

  44. cardio

    “I need some sand”

    “What?”

    “Sand! You’re standing on it.”

  45. SayWhat?

    #34
    TajMazon, you will normally find that if people can get the same thing for either $50 million or $60 million, they’ll go for the $50 million! Go figure! That is of course, unless they’re gazillionaire like myself, and prefer not to carry loose change around!

  46. D'oh Eyes

    Why does she have her finger in her bellybutton? What, “This space for rent”?

  47. jrzmommy

    What the fuck was that song, I was sittin’ with the chickens and then something about playing ping pong with my balls?

  48. I love how she doesn’t even realize her left tit is completely hanging out of her bra!

    http://www.celebslam.com

Leave A Comment