Are you spending this New Years alone? Couldn’t find a date? Well no worries, because now you can ring in the New Year with Kevin Federline. While, amazingly, he couldn’t find a label to release his rap single PopoZao, he’s now distributing it on his own. The song will be released on New Year’s Eve, according to a mass e-mail sent from his myspace.com page.
It says: “I love you all. The ones that Love and the ones that Hate. The ones that Fight and those who Bite.” The single will be available on his Web site, kevinfederline.com, which promises, “I am coming.”
From what I understand, it would be technically “illegal” for me to murder Federline before he releases this song. But I doubt any jury would convict me once they hear it. I haven’t heard it yet, but imagine it will be some combination of 1) drums, 2) Dr. Seuss lyrics, 3) pepper-sprayed monkeys, and 4) an old man peeing into a coffee can. Verdict = not guilty.
Dubious Debut [Page Six]
WaitWhat? | December 29, 2005 at 1:29 pm
I think everyone should stop paying this idiot any mind, and then maybe he’ll go away.
Sheva | December 29, 2005 at 1:38 pm
Kfed please remember your divorce settlement payout is based on your length of marriage not your failed attempts to join your wife in the pop music business.
derekd | December 29, 2005 at 2:13 pm
If this thing takes off I will completely lose my faith in the American public. He is such a classless bum. He doesn’t even pay child support.
MortyFishbein | December 29, 2005 at 2:16 pm
I haven’t awaited a single this badly since I heard Zamfir: Master of the Pan Flute was going to do stirring duet with Yanni of 50 Cent’s “Candy Shop!”
APINK | December 29, 2005 at 3:02 pm
Oh thank God that I have planned to hang myself from the nearest tree on New Years Eve.
RenataCC | December 29, 2005 at 3:46 pm
Popozao is a slang for big ass in portuguese. I guess it’s appropriate…
Zed | December 29, 2005 at 3:56 pm
PopoZao–catchy. Not. He does know he’s a white boy, right?
Maybe a retitling of the single will make a difference in sales. Perhaps
CrappoZao
Poo-pooZao
or
DumboZao
will do the trick. Maybe not.
tuesdayup | December 29, 2005 at 4:33 pm
New Year’s resolution: gouge out eardrums.
http://theobsessivemessenger.com/thenews/?p=36
Captain Awesome | December 29, 2005 at 6:22 pm
derekd,
GWB’s second term and The Dukes Of Hazard movie should have done it for you by now.
Stephani Hagood | December 29, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Why does that photo make me want to go…
“To the Extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle
DANCE!” ?
…is it just me?
fatgirl | December 29, 2005 at 6:54 pm
I just want to see a headline that says, “Kevin Federline to release GOOD song”.
LadySpankington | December 29, 2005 at 7:07 pm
Stephani!
That’s so funny, it does! for me though, i hear:
“Will it ever stop, yo, i don’t know
Turn of the lights and I’ll glo”
Zed | December 29, 2005 at 7:09 pm
I listened to a 5-sec clip of Kev’s masterpiece at http://www.myspace.com/kevinfederlineforreal
There are no 2006 music awards in Kevin’s future for this gem of a song. None.
I now officially refer to it as “Poop-PoopZao.”
CelebGossipAficionado | December 29, 2005 at 9:33 pm
To f-in funny!!! Unfortunately, when his attempt at stardom bombs, he’s just gonna whoop Sean Prestons ass until he gets the “Federline 5″ moves right….(I know you caught the Joe Jackson reference. Don’t you love it?) PooPoo, PooPoos out!
voodoochild | December 30, 2005 at 1:58 am
Zed, I just listened to that clip and I roared with laughter, except it was that silent laughing that is followed with a WTF. I declare the term Popozao the new Santorum. Look it up kids. Look it up.
Porcelyn | December 30, 2005 at 3:15 am
spew
kitkat | December 30, 2005 at 5:26 am
Word to your motha. Although, I do believe he looks more like a New Kid on the Block. Too Cold. Too Cold.
kitkat | December 30, 2005 at 5:33 am
OK, I have to add this. On his site, is it just me or does it look like someone found random pics from a yearbook and a couple of photo albums and posted mysterious and strangley worded posts with terrible grammar? The posts read like my 8th grade yearbook.
father booze | December 30, 2005 at 9:46 am
At least there’s a good chance people that would normally care about such a hot single will be too drunk to remember it. Then instead of waking up the next morning hungover, they just won’t wake up. Ever.
cat | December 30, 2005 at 10:38 am
Geez, I really hate that kid.
cat | December 30, 2005 at 10:39 am
WORD!
happysdp | January 1, 2006 at 3:31 pm
Ol’ Kev and Brit need to load up the trailer and head back East to Kentwood, LA. And maybe somehere along the trip Kev can find a job and start to pay child support to Shar. Poor Preston.
CheekyChops | January 2, 2006 at 8:35 am
He’s such a tool.
moomoovacaroo | January 5, 2006 at 3:28 am
this song is entirely brilliant, you all need to stop making fun of it. Not only does K-fed introduce himself vocally in a way that would make the late great Tarzan jealous, but he actually wrote an ENTIRE VERSE! Granted, the verse is only about 30 seconds long, leaving over three full minutes of blissful “po po popozoa”, but he managed to squeak one out. I think that’s highly impressive for an obvious qualifier for the redneck olympics.
What boggles MY mind is how he can have so many ‘friends’ on Myspace. What do these people possibly hope to get from him? Other than knocked up and relegated to stirring chunky’s bean and hot dog chile in the back of a broken down RV?
thatoneguy2 | January 8, 2006 at 2:10 am
i say we kill bill gates, steal his money and pay kevin off, that way he’ll be rich enough that he doesnt have to shove white trash rap down our throats while he tries (unsuccessfully) to get rich