Kevin Federline tells on Britney Spears

July 13th, 2007 // 63 Comments

Kevin Federline reportedly called child protective services on Britney Spears claiming she didn’t have the required safety barriers around her pool, and apparently that’s why Britney has been living in a Four Seasons Hotel with her manny and two sons. Although this seems less like he cares about the kids and more like he wants to make Britney Spears look like an even worse mother. Which actually isn’t very hard. You don’t need to call child protective services, just wave a bag of Cheetos in front of her face. She’ll trample both her kids trying to get to them, while oinking, “Gimme gimme gimme!”



  1. Rubes


  2. uglypeoplesafais

    That’s rich–he, of all people, is calling CPS? [first]

  3. Victor

    Still fuck the shit out of her. And you all can’t say you wouldn’t. If she was naked on your bed, with her legs wide open, you wouldn’t think twice about dipping your dick in that wet pussy and getting your dick wet.

  4. Kamiki

    This pair as bad as each other neither should have kids. Horrible trashy scum those kids are going to get SO fucked up with those 2 as parents.

  5. adeliza

    I with her kids would fall in the pool.

  6. adeliza

    I mean wish, her kids would fall in the pool.

  7. wedgeone

    #3 – She’s all yours, Vic. Just like Lilo in the last post.
    If “she was naked on [my] bed, with her legs wide open”, “dipping [my] dick in that wet pussy” would be the last thing on my mind. First and foremost is how would I stabilize the air pressure in the room so that I wouldn’t get sucked into her cavernous black hole, and I watch all the furniture in the room fly towards her rotten cooch.

  8. wedgeone

    K-Earl’s just building up ammo, which is the smartest thing he could do.
    She’ll sell that $12.5 million house, and he’ll get all of the $$. Set for life that bro is.

  9. Bobfunland

    What?!? Britney’s a bad mom?!? Shcoking!!!

  10. Dizzybenny

    #7 First and foremost is how would I stabilize the air pressure in the room so that I wouldn’t get sucked into her cavernous black hole, and I watch all the furniture in the room fly towards her rotten cooch.

    lolll so true!

  11. p0nk

    when KFed isn’t busy tattling on Brit, he hangs out at the special olympics gym and picks fights with the quadriplegics.

  12. hotyute

    #7 FUCKING FUNNY, MADE MY DAY!!! I do love her though…we’ve got a good thing going on, takes cat up and starts to dance pretending its sweet ole britney.

  13. Dizzybenny

    #11when KFed isn’t busy tattling on Brit, he hangs out at the special olympics gym and picks fights with the quadriplegics.

    i can imagine it from here…”yo yo yo you think you so hot with that wheelchair homes check out my wheels my 91 corolla bitch”

  14. VictorIsAClosetFag

    Vic, if you ever got lost in the mountains, the search party would simply have to follow the trail of spunk and torn out pages of Playboy to find you – not that anybody would want to find you.

  15. Aubree

    what’s up with the crass dick talk on here, cough cough-Victor–cough cough…

    I mean, do you get lucky so infrequently that we all have to hear about what you would do and how you would do it to Brit Brit…dear God!

    Save the graphic dippings and drippings, I guess I’ll just scroll by your postings from now on! BARF!

  16. lambman

    Remember when Britney used to look clean and could form coherent sentences, and brushed her hair?

  17. Your Mom

    I don’t know what I would want more. Being the child of a loaded Mom who does not really give two shits about me or living the projects with the Mom that is nice enough to keep me in ammo for them tough nights on the streets.

    If that kid was lucky, when he took that spill from the highchair, it rattled loose the part of his brain that makes him not know any better!

  18. crazy pills

    Britney has kind of a big problem with overreacting. Kevin might try to get her drug-tested, so she calls her lawyer—oops, she shaves her head. Kevin reports that her pool lacks proper fencing, so she calls a carpenter—oops, she moves into the Four Seasons. She sees a girl wearing an outfit she likes, so she asks where to she got it—oops, changes clothes with her, on the spot.

    Back when she was a teenager, I bet you could have asked her to the prom and proceeded directly to ATM.

  19. uber-boober

    ok, what is that thing on her head? Is that like an old chinese man wig?

    two, why is she always naked, or pulling something up or down, to cover the almost-nakedness? Next, to elaborate, she has SHORT, STUBBY “CARNIE” ARMS AND HANDS…. ewwww. gross.

    She really looks like one of those people when you stop in an Allsups in far West Texas, that has lived and worked in that small town, and eventually will don a moo-moo and shuffle around the Dollar Store with her kids’ kids’ grandkids’…..and wear rollers all the time. Seriously folks…. think about it. she’s not even good enough for cheap porn anymore.

  20. Christ on a Crotch

    Two words: SUMO WRESTLER.

    What happened to her, she used to be so cute.

  21. Christ on a Crotch

    Wedgeone, I don’t know why but your description of the act just made me moist.

  22. Sauron

    Oops,that reminds me i don’t have safety barriers as well around my swimmingpool…Those hobbits could easily fall into deep waters and drown..!I’m off to the most near Marriott hotel!

  23. Check out for news, videos and photos on Britney!

  24. Courtney

    Sigh. Yet another Britney/Cheetos reference. Big points for originality, Superfish!!!! :D

    I do hope you know you have me ready Perez Hilton now. And I use the word ‘read’ very loosely.

  25. 28inch

    Loving the sumo hair, Britney. And for heaven’s sake, those children would be better off falling in the pool and drowning to be honest. Two rich and irresponsible parents who hate each other and care more about acting like drunken teenagers than a family will amount to a pair of spoilt, “young hollywood” brats who are ugly, fat and addicted to drugs, yet still manage to bubble up in ‘E!’s Most Sexiest Rock Stars’ or whatever. They will also claim that they are “models” or “actors” despite never having worked as either. One might also release a pop-rock chart flop after weasling into the public eye a bit. This, of course, is assuming they survive considering the sub-par parenting skills of BitBit and K-Fed.

  26. silentpyjamas

    she and whitney houton should get together for like the Crack’d Out 2007 tour. them, their drugs, their baby-daddies, their babies! chicks who used to sell out stadiums but now are barely a step away from selling their poons. i feel the most bad for that invisible horse whose ass her head is in, all for the sake of replacing her carelessly shorn locks.

    poor horsie.

  27. lawpunk

    Brit is about to become the next Carnie Wilson. Hello Jabba the Slut.

    Brit needed to child proof her pool for young kids regardless. Smart parenting. SHe may not be one, so someone had to do it for her, as usual.

  28. buds


  29. miss oblivious

    Okay superfish guy, that was actually pretty funny. Keep it coming like the good ole’ days.

  30. kix

    It’s not the kids fault their parents are morons. I hope that nobody would really want to see any child drowned. These kids still probably have a chance to turn out normal if CPS takes them away and sees that they are adopted by some decent family. That’s one of the problems with this country- any moron can have a kid and the rest of society has to suffer the consequences of their bad upbringing.

  31. Want to child-proof a home?
    Put up pool fences.

    Want to Brit-proof a home?
    Lock up the Red Bull and vodka.

    Want to K-Fed-proof a home?
    Put “employment” inside.

  32. vi

    She is so ugly. She is butch has a linebacker neck and looks 45. She is a terrible Mother and an ugly human being. She is so far up her own ass the arrogant bitch thinks she can neglect her kids. She is worthless and talentless.
    Her fans are even more pathetic than she is.
    teenyboppers need to realize what “free speech” is. You always get at least one, on here saying
    “lyk omfg y#ur just jellix cuz shes rich. britney 4 ever, leave bri alone haterz”

  33. Since when did Britney turn to Islam?
    Did I miss an announcement?

  34. my comment

    Sorry, but she was never cute.

  35. Andrea

    Britney is fucking disgusting. I was a fan of hers when I was what, 8 years old? She’s a horrible mother and we’ve all seen proof of that. Not that K-Fed is much better, because he has 4 kids that he doesn’t take care of and pretends he does. Britney just needs to fall off the face of the earth. She’s never going to make a comeback, even if she wants to and tries. K-Fed’s just lame as dirt. I feel terrible for those kids. I really expect to see them in the news in 20 years for being serial killers or rapists because of Brit and K-Fed’s awful parenting skills.

  36. blah, blah, blah

    Never a fan of Brit’s, but I feel sorry for her. She’s obviously all alone (or at least feels all alone) in the world with her two young sons to think of, and not a soul to support her (not financially, but emotionally). She’s lost, plain and simple.

  37. Crap Tonight

    The worst part is that she didn’t take the kids with her to the hotel, they’re still back at the unfenced pool

  38. Crap Tonight

    or wherever she left them last

  39. ok…so what’s the deal? I think that it is great that she took measures into her hand, and moved! She knew that it wasn’t safe…so what is so damn bad about that? MAYBE IS GETTING THEM INSTALLED! K-BITCH NEED TO STOP TRYING TO GET HIS KIDS TO LIVE WITH SHAR! I SWEAR IF I WAS BRITNEY….IN NO WAY..OVER MY DEAD BODY WOULD HE..A BACK-UP DANCER, GOLD DIGGER…ASS POPPER WOULD GET CUSTODY OF MY KIDS! HE’S NOTHING, BUT A SPERM DONOR! HEY K-BITCH…GET A REAL CAREER…PUSSY ASS!


  41. cadebra1961

    She has to get herself checked into a psych ward stat! Not just for herself, but for the sake of her her children.
    And then her life will slowly start coming back into proper order. All that money going to waste!!

  42. cadebra1961

    Posted by Ms. Sugar Walls on July 13, 2007 11:43 PM
    Posted by Ms. Sugar Walls on July 13, 2007 11:48 PM

    Calm down Sugar. Some of us are praying for the poor wretched puppy.
    Britney needs someone like you to shake her up and bring her to her senses! But I’m sure many have tried. Like her mother…who she turned on to prevent from having access to her kids.

    Face it, Brit-brit is slowly getting flushed down the toilet, and she keeps on pulling that handle HERSELF! She has no one to blame but…Britney. Only God can save her now. Total sadness!

  43. yas

    please stop making fun of britney, this whole thing is so hyped up from the media and the publics blind following of britney/kevin, paris, nichol, all of it, please live YOUR life, not theirs.

  44. justifiable

    #40 Ms. Sugar Walls, you is clearly off your meds and have whipped youself into a state of frothing incoherency. I don’t care if the tough is on the table or not, this is not a site for Britney’s real fans and no one here is running like chickens. Get your facts straight, she chose K-Fed, and since Shar was knocked up when she did, she knew who and what he was. And if anyone’s squeezing her Criscoed-up size 8 ass into size 6 pants, it’s your heroine, Britty.

    So have a Coke and some lithium and shut the fuck up.

  45. i think that you criscoed your ass in those jeans! k-bitch is a asshole! I think that Britney…is doing the best she can being a good mother! all of you jackasses would love to see someone fail miserably…so..that you fucktards can feel like “If brit can fuck up, there’s nothing wrong with me fucking up…well news fucking flash…i bet that you fucktards are in your 30′s still fucking up as time goes on! She’s a young 25, and i know for a fact that no one is perfect in this little warped up web site! ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES GET OFF OF BRIT’S CLIT!

  46. TrulyJulie

    What to do about this chick…

  47. ambidextroushandjob

    #45 Here’s a bigger fucking news flash, darlin’ – I don’t waste my time or my life comparing myself to this fucked up girl, and I bet most of the rest of the posters here don’t either. Nor am I fat, a loser, neglecting my kids, ugly, or any of the things you desperately wish I were so you can feel better about your twisted hero worship of a person who is obviously not worthy of your doggy-like drooling devotion. If you’ve wasted your life idolizing her as the picture of hot perfection, that’s not my fucking problem – you need to get a dose of reality or else just rock on over to her site and keep drinking the Kool-Aid, so you can tell her how much you love her no matter what.

  48. Lowlands

    ‘She’ll trample both her kids trying to get to them, while oinking, “Gimme gimme gimme!”‘ You’re so bad that it’s almost genius!

  49. Sauron

    How about K-Fed having safety barriers around his concrete footbath? It’s all legal then because of the safety barriers.

  50. crazy otto

    shes practiceing for MardiGras

Leave A Comment