Kevin Federline shows Britney how to win a custody battle

October 4th, 2007 // 144 Comments

Judge Scott Gordon ordered that Kevin Federline will maintain full custody of Jayden James and Sean Preston. Britney Spears will be allowed visitation, but only under close supervision. The hearing took place yesterday afternoon, but one person didn’t feel the need to show up. Let’s just say her name rhymes with Whitney Peers. The NY Daily News reports:

“This was the first day that he had custody of his children and he felt it was important for the court to see who he is and to be there should the court have any desire to ask him anything,” said K-Fed’s lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan.

Experts had told The News it would have been a good idea for Spears, 25, to tell the judge face to face she was ready to clean up her act. Instead, she was spotted tooling around the Malibu hills with her dog, stopping at a Starbucks and a gas station.

Britney’s lawyer seemed oh-so-thrilled when asked about her absence:

“It’s totally inappropriate from my perspective to make a comment on an active case without my client’s expressed permission – and she’s not here,” lawyer Sorrell Trope bristled as he left Los Angeles Superior Court.”

It also should be noted that during the hearing Kevin Federline was wearing an eye patch. Don’t believe me? Read the article. Yeah, he claims it was for an eye infection, but c’mon. He was showing off. Hamming it up a bit, if you will. It’s kind of sad Britney wasn’t there to see him dressing like a pirate and still winning. Oh yeah, sure, it’s sad she didn’t show up to fight for her kids. That too. But seriously, she missed out on Captain Kevin of the S.S. Superdad. Talk about a real loss.

UPDATE: TMZ is reporting that Britney Spears is checking into rehab this week “in an attempt to get custody of her children.” Man the harpoons, Cap’n Kev! The whale is fighting back! Argh!


  1. fuphdog

    i wanna be a pirate too!!

  2. Mike Hunt

    Good. She doesn’t fucking care; you know it, we know it and now the world knows it.

    People like that really exist. They just don’t care about anything, ANYTHING, but their own ids. (“IDS” not I.D.”s – it’s Freudian for all the dumb shits out there)

  3. Kara

    I wish there were pictures of him in an eye patch.

  4. kevin federline fan

    Federline is god.

  5. JM

    I can hear the quote now from Britney:

    “I don’t get why it’s important for me to have custody. Even when I had them we only saw each other once a week for a supervised visit with my nannies. Christ, this is a great deal for me – I don’t have to pay for nannies anymore yall.”


  6. kevin federline fan

    I wish there were pictures of him in the nude.

  7. RAMistheMAN

    You know it’s sad when you make Kevin Federline look like the responsible parent of the two.

  8. Britney was upset; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. She was wearing a mask and everything ’cause of her eye infection. I think I know what Brit and K-Fed were doing to get their eye infections . . .

  9. Ronin

    I feel sorry for that dog. It’s doomed.

  10. Steph

    can we all take a look at the sunless tanner stains on her hands?

  11. sar

    Why don’t the tabs stop photoing her. Maybe that will make her straighten up some, since she knows that bad things get her coverage, and lives for this. I definetily am tired of reading about her failured life, and am bored with it all. What people want to see is her being a good mother and back to a good performer. She needs help, and obviously all the tabloid attention is only making her worse.

  12. Sam Hain

    i feel sorry for that straw…

  13. Oops, i crapped my pants!

    #8 were they fingering their assholes and then rubbing their eyes? Because that’s what I think happened.

  14. mallory

    i would have loved to have been there. not at the trial, although i am a fan of eye patches, but when britney tried to take a sip of her starbucks and then realized that she never even took the wrapper off the straw. who just sticks it in? and i believe thats what she said.

  15. nora

    that 2nd pic on the 2nd row is freaking the crap out of me.

  16. #13 you have to go to my site for a better explanation. I can’t go into details here, but let’s suffice it to say that you aren’t far off . . .

  17. Cuntyface

    I couldn’t give any more shit about this fuckbrained whore and her ex. Everytime I see it’s a Britney story on this site I skip or wait for a clip of an ex-child star throwing a prick over his head.

  18. Judy Greer

    The Superficial SUCKS!

    Haters and masterbaters ALL of you!

  19. moondust

    ^ funny, i’m freaked out by the 2nd pic in the FIRST row…. she looks like an autistic child.

    and 10, you are SO right. i thought she went to fake-n-bake salons anyway?

  20. Nev

    I bet thats the first time shes put something long in her mouth that had a wrapper on it. Or anywhere for that matter.
    At least she wont be having kids with her Iced Frappuccino.

  21. moondust

    p.s. no offense to the autistic. or children.

  22. Haroof

    damn is she hideous looking…


  23. Ed

    Does anyone else notice that the straw inside the Frap is actually still in the wrapper too??? Not sure how that’s gonna work out in the end…..

    ….how sad….sad, sad, sad….she just looks spaced out and sooooo clueless…..almost starting to feel bad…almost…..

  24. gotmilk?

    she looks pretty much out of it. i love that 2nd picture in the bottom row. it looks like she’s growing a ‘stache!

    that dog is about to drown in her huge ass drink.

  25. OMG

    AT 17—-


  26. 19. Judy Greer – October 4, 2007 11:20 AM

    The Superficial SUCKS!

    Haters and masterbaters ALL of you!

    I know I am. What are you?

  27. Ed

    To add to my last comment though, I take it back, she’s even sadder than we think, she’s hamming this up and loving every bit of the attention and is totally deluded. She’s “hiding” her face in the last pics — if she wanted to hide, why did she let the other pics snap properly? And why even go out!?! She’s filthy rich, cant she have an errand boy bring her a frap to her home or wherever she is without being seen at all!?!?

  28. ^

    well he/she is on the site, so what does that say.

    he/she can’t spell either.




  30. Spongebob Gangsta

    She looks like an crazy old woman in a Winnebago.
    The rat dog adds the finishing touch.

  31. Kitty

    X17 is saying that she wasn’t required to be there… who knows if that is true or not.

    Her lawyer’s statement here really proves nothing. I read it as he is simply stating that he isn’t going to talk about her without her being there.

  32. It would have been better if K-Fed talked like a pirate while he was in the courtroom. “Aaarrrgghh, Judge! Gimme my kids or I won’t be able to buy anymore booty!”

  33. Sara Lee

    Son: Daddy what do you do at work?
    Paparazzi: I hang out with a bunch of men and follow Britney Spears all day long to take pictures of her.
    Son: Where do you go?
    Paparazzi: Britney’s House, Night Clubs, Fast Food, Gas Stations, Tanning Salons, Stores, and Starbucks.
    Son: You don’t really do much at work daddy?
    Paparazzi: Go to sleep son.

  34. gcoke

    @34 LOL

    pap are fucking stupid. how fucked up is it that they have to take pictures of other people for money? it’s like photo prostitution..

  35. PunkA

    PR wreck. She just has no clue how to behave like a responsible adult. In an industry where image is everything, hers is in the toilet. She is as responsible as a 13 year old, and dresses like a street urchin.

    Career is over. And she still has her millions. And will still get paid from douchebag paparazzi photags for ifo on where she is going, etc. Ridiculous.

  36. gotmilk?

    Britney gives a whole new meaning to “Thar she blows!”

  37. Deaf Dumb and Blind Kid

    @28 Right on Ed!

    She is living for this shit. She isn’t heartbroken or suicidal, she’s just an out and out fucktard. She loves the attention, good or bad news. Following the travails of this hillbilly moved me from bemusement, astonishment, now I’m just pissed at her behavior.

    “We forsake you…Let’s forget you better still”. From Tommy by The Who.

  38. daguz

    That’s the second Venti that I’ve seen her with in as many days. I’ll bet it is a Caramel Frappuccino® Blended Coffee at 500 calories…

    She needs this link:

  39. lux

    That’s not Malibu, she’s on Ventura Blvd in Studio City…get you facts straight! God I wish she’d move out of Malibu and take her bad press and pap entourage with her. Malibu locals only!

  40. west

    it’b obvious she doesn’t want the kids so why bother. what’s w/ the visiting rights? like she would ever take to go to see them. she should fuckin’ be prohibited from getting pregnant, like ever again.

  41. BunnyButt

    Judy, there’s no such thing as a masterbater. Perhaps you mean masturbator. Maybe you wouldn’t be so uptight if you actually tried masturbating. We all know by now that you love Britney, so get out a vibrator, think of her, and have a lovely, relaxing afternoon with yourself.

    As for the real Britney, she’s screwed up her life, and she has no one to blame but herself, so don’t hate US for holding her responsible for her actions. She’s a grown up now, and she needs to act like one. Most of us do so, and we work hard at it each and every day. That’s why we’re disgusted with someone who has wasted the great opportunites she’s been given rather than appreciating them and making the most of them.
    them and making the most of them.

  42. She traded the kids in for a dog…they are way easier to take care of

  43. BunnyButt

    Oops! Sorry about that typo!

  44. Grace

    It’s a shame that “rehab” is such a facilitator of continuing bad behavior. All it does is give slimebags another chance to fuck over decent folks who live their lives with self-control and responsibility. “Addiction” has become a total farce.

  45. mtnbiker

    With all that money, she should be able to get her nails done regularly too, ewwww

  46. Dr. Johnny Fever

    Not defending Britney ’cause, let’s face it, she’s a disaster. However, I can’t help but think that every single fuckhead in that gaggle of brainless idiots crowding around the car and shoving cameras at all the windows deserves to get run over and left on the side of the road with broken knees. In what universe are they doing anybody any good at all? At least leeches make the occasional medical contribution.

  47. Jamie

    Re: The pic of Britney holding a Starbucks fattening drink shows Brit’s hands with the tanning lotion.

    She did not blend it in well and you can see huge brown spots ha! I do a better job at home with my quick tan lotion.

  48. Vernita Green

    Aaaaaand Britney is an idiot… No, no Judge, she can totally take care of children when she can’t even figure out how a straw works. It’s fine, just give her time.

  49. havoc

    “he (Federline) felt it was important…”

    Bullshit. His lawyers told him to shave and have his ass in that courtroom.
    The funniest part of this whole circus is that Federline is being portrayed as the better parent!



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