Kevin Federline learns a valuable lesson in the game of love

August 14th, 2008 // 59 Comments

Kevin Federline apparently likes the name “Britney” no matter how it’s spelled. He was recently beguiled by the beauty of socialite Brittny Gastineau (above) whose greatest and sole accomplishment is coming out of a wealthy vagina. Page Six reports::

The famous ex of Britney Spears was at Coco de Ville in LA “staring at Brittny Gastineau while she was waiting in line for the bathroom,” said our spy. Federline, who has custody of his and Spears’ sons, “wouldn’t stop checking her out, up and down, but Brittny was not interested.”

Wait. Staring at a woman at the bar for uncomfortable lengths of time does not get you laid? Jesus, poor Kevin Federline must feel like his whole world is a lie. Next, you’re going to tell him wearing a ski mask and waiting for them in the parking lot isn’t “romantic.” *sigh* He’ll never figure girls out…

Photos: Splash News

  1. uh

    first or second or something

  2. steve

    He forgot to rub himself while staring.

  3. Kim

    I’m sure it was something innocent, like he wanted her to pee on him.

  4. Man…K-Fed is so hot. I wish he’d at least be a switch hitter and let me suck him off.

    Ill bet he has his pubes in corn-rows and uses soul-glo on them. That is so HOT.

    I love whiggers.

  5. D4P

    “Brittny Gastineau…whose greatest and sole accomplishment is coming out of a wealthy vagina”

    Ironic, because Federline’s greatest and sole accomplishment is coming INTO a wealthy vagina.

  6. Erica

    Actually the full routine seems to be stare, rub, moan, but I’ll let one of our many experts here have the final say.

  7. Matthew

    supersperm is at it again

  8. Ed McMahon

    “”Brittny Gastineau…whose greatest and sole accomplishment is coming out of a wealthy vagina”

    Ironic, because Federline’s greatest and sole accomplishment is coming INTO a wealthy vagina.”

    Bing-bong! Heyoooooo!

  9. Ted from LA

    K-Pud is a twat. Brittny needs to buy a vowel.

  10. Ted from LA

    How do you define socialite? I’m guessing it is, “wealthy unemployed drunk.”

  11. LizzT

    Ha! I know someone with the name Britny, and I was JUST discussing how retarded it is.

    Like, a second ago.

  12. I’m sure Kevin was just looking for a good nanny for the boys…

  13. typical superficial loser

    She was badly beaten by the ugly stick. Please stop putting up pictures of ugly women. My eyes are hurting so bad that I need to look in the mirror to make the pain go away.

  14. So… when’s her sex tape coming out?

  15. Bigheadmike

    Come on now…. Whats wrong with her?

  16. jaime

    i’d date britney’s if they came with those bodies and bank accounts!!
    of course i mean pre-head shave/sudden carreer plummeting.

  17. CJ

    Tsk tsk…even WITH Brittney’s money he’s STILL a loser…and now he’s a loser with two children attached to him at the hip. Sucks to be him. Ugly is as ugly does.

  18. Rant

    K-Fed was born from trailer park vagina, but for what ever reason gets to dip into weathly vagina. Where is the justice?

  19. KF is white trash

    Kevin Federline is trash no matter who he has intercourse with. KF could win a 400 million dollar powerball and he would still be an asslicking douchebag.

    Like someone else implied…he’s a white nigger.

  20. Deacon Jones

    I’d rather fuck her mom, she doesnt look like a stuck up bitch plus she’s older so she’s more desperate to please

  21. Jesus Loves YOU

    and we all know how deacon jones can only fuck desperate old women. bet your penis wished it was detachable.

  22. Gross, I think I can see his erection..

  23. Jacks Johnson

    Sorry FRIST!!

  24. Whatev

    Damn, this woman is broke.

  25. Jenny

    Niiice 1 D4P!

  26. my comment

    A Star Trek dress from PayLess.
    And her hair? Wings? Today?
    Add 7 lbs. of make up. Vacant stare.
    Total disaster.

  27. Bubble Butt

    I think jaime said it best..

  28. Em

    Dang!!! According to her Wiki (which is sooooooo accurate, I know), this chick is only 23!!!??? Someone get her a chemical peel.

  29. #19 ?????
    Well #10, Ted, I guess I’m a socialite too then, well, except I’m not wealthy or unemployed..

  30. Ruge

    nice boobies

  31. Blah

    she looked pretty at first…but then I saw the closeup. A little weird looking; prob too much plastic surgery.

  32. Deacon Jones


    Wrong, I only fuck desperate women, not old desperate women. That way I don’t have to put up with:

    “Welllll, I dont know if I should.” or
    “Well my girlfriends are at the bar too, I like, can’t just leave them” or
    “Sorrry, I dont go home with people I just met” or
    “I dont suck dick” or
    “I’m on my period, sorrrrrry” or
    “You’ll call me, right? You will call me wont you?” or
    “How come you didnt call me?! You think Im so two piece whore or something?” annnnd…
    “I told my brothers about you. You better not go to (insert bar name here) again!”

  33. TheFullRoutine

    @6, the full routine is snort, stare, rub, moan, squirt and smoke (cleaning up after is optional). If staring at women dressed like her is a crime then every man ever born would have done time in prison. Why is this news?

  34. KF = shitstain

    “Why is this news?”

    Good question, since we all know that KF is a no talent douchebag, shitstain, white trash, nigger wannabe, pathetic excuse for a human being

  35. Flip

    Give #5 The Superficial’s job! That was awesome

  36. Kate

    Wow…it’s pretty bad when you get the cold shoulder from a has been model who’s only claim to fame is that she came out of a woman, who’s only claim to fame is she managed to get knocked up by a wealthy football player back in the 1970′s…and spells her name retardedly Brittny.

  37. Alli

    She looks more manly than the does!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Philster

    Why was this story posted? :P

  39. NY Ted

    Geez…not only is she gorgeous…she has a fully functional brain also! Any woman who knows to “ignore” that hill-billy trailer trash of a loser K-Fed…is A-1 in my books!!

    Now if only Brittny would let me lick the sweet perspiration from between her lovely, lovely breasts…!!!

  40. KF is TRASH

    “She looks more manly than the does!!!!!!!!!!”

    Translate that comment to english, please. Thank You.

  41. Kopptok

    IF K-Fed EVER thinks he’s gonna date a celebrity again he is sorely mistaken. He is Porr White Trash that married rich. Plus, what female celebrity would be caught dead dating him! Seriously.

  42. SomeoneRandom

    Going from Britney Spears to this girl is definitely a low swoop, even in Britney’s lowest days. I do not find this girl attractive. And as for that shit show she was in…..did anybody actually watch it?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!? She’s cross-eyed and worth nothing (except her parent’s money)

  43. KF=shitstain

    KFed = Hickabilly, sister screwing, low IQ, poor manners, poor self respect, no dignity, poorly educated, drop out, intellectual reject, opossum eater, sheep fucker, no self respect no shame, screw any whore any time, man whore, white trash, wishes he were a nigger, can’t dance worth a crap, too dumb to pass college entrance exams, too dumb to pass military enlistment exams, lacks basic hygeine skills.

    And did I mention hickabilly manwhore? Not to insult real “men” but he’s apparently not female, so he must be a male.

  44. rough daddy

    shes doing kevin a favor,,,you think paris cant carry a conversation? this chick was mostly comatose on her reality tv show… no wonder it was canceled…

  45. kait

    She does nothing. Her gold-digger mother tried to train her to gold-dig, but she’s had no success. For a short time she tried to model, but never got thin enough. But Kevin Federline would be a serious loser–even for her.

  46. oshkoshb'goshdamngosh

    She’s almost as hot as me. But not really. Even. Poor girl.

  47. lawrence

    She is stunning! Is she still a single? It is said she post a profile with many hot photos at a beautiful people site. That is a site for wealthy people and their admirers, it is called or something?

  48. silly panda!

    you guys should lay off of k.fed.

    i mean, who knows if this story is even true?? consider the source: Page Six?! thanks, but i doubt it.

    i think shes pretty, even if shes talentless.

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