Kevin Federline should use his Britney-money on a gym membership

December 6th, 2008 // 95 Comments

Kevin Federline took a mystery woman out last night, and look, I don’t want to say he’s gotten fat. But I do want to say “Run, bitch, RUN! Holy shit, can’t you tell he ate the last one!? Free shoes are not worth your life, lady! RUN!”

That said, do you think Britney’s jealous? Not because Kevin’s dating or anything, but because he can let himself go without his dad, manager, record label and the state of California locking him in the garage with a sprig of celery for five days. No, seriously, who does she have to kill for a pudding pie around here?

Photos: Flynet
superficial

  1. verga

    first fat fucker!

  2. fatfuck

    hahahahahahahahah fatzor

  3. yep

    whale-sized turds

  4. jeezey mic jeeze

    god thats disgusting

  5. riz

    he always nauseated me. this just makes it worse.

  6. tortfeasor

    I wasn’t sure if he was actually fat because his clothes are so damn baggy but then I saw that he had fat people fingers.

  7. Hey life is good, the man is bagging chix looking like shit! why not!!!

  8. Pathetic Worm

    Big People, Little World

  9. Superfish

    Holy crap.

  10. JJ Vajayjay

    LIKE WHOA!!! I’ve never seen cankles on a dude like Brits ex!

    Damn, slow down on the chili cheese fritos, K-Feed.

  11. seriously, do I see a cankle?

  12. Annonyononymouse

    woaaaaah!!!!!!

  13. Randal

    Kevin, be who you want to be, not what the media expects you to be. You look fine, nothing that your moves as a dancer can’t solve when you’re on your next big tour.

    Some are going to call you fat, I’m calling you phat dawg.

    Randal

  14. Aerialgreen

    It’s K-Over-Fed bitch!

    Oink, oink, oink! ~

  15. Are they in the food court at the mall? Certainly would explain a lot.

  16. Aerialgreen

    Oh, and that beard to hide the quadruple chin?, veeeery clever!, it totally hides his lard-tastic face….

  17. Matthew

    K- fed:ohhh new girlfriend first food lol POPOZAO

  18. oh my god!

    He’s so fat he can’t even tie his shoes!

  19. Uggh

    So, is that what happens to you after early retirement? Yuck, bring on the work, slave labor, sweat shops, whatever it takes!!!

    Geez, now we know he’s not the “Womanizer” Britney was singing about….fo’ ugly sure

    It’s a National Opposite Day Phenonmenon..Pop “O” Zow eeek Owww!!!

  20. Can'tGetMe

    Randal, you always try to anger me but I’m not going to let you. You f*cking ahole dick! Icould SCRTEAMMMMM!!1!!

  21. Gruff the Crime Dog

    If you’re feeling portly eat
    I ain’t even gorging sweets
    There’s more ankle than you see
    You wouldn’t like me when I’m hongry

    Kill the Frites
    Knock ‘em down Stack ‘em up Munch ‘em hard
    Kill the Frites
    Don’t be scared Watch them sizzle In their fat
    Kill the Frites
    I feel you Watching me Eating you
    Kill the Frites
    You can’t handle the truth
    What happened to ‘em?

  22. Ron

    K-Fatty eatting large off Britney’s money. What a pig. He should get his own azz in a gym instead of his boys. Fat bas#ard.

  23. french_guy

    Super Size in Me !

  24. Heidi

    What’s so bad about being fat?

    He was always gross and a loser. Duh.

  25. Jose

    Which proves that bitch will suck any dick for a tiny bit of publicity.

  26. Katie

    That’s what happens when you stop getting free coke.

  27. Still better looking than Bratman.
    But seriously, You fat disgusting slobulus.
    Chet from Weird Science and shit.

  28. Come on you have to give him a little credit. He has absolutely no skills and has made millions so let him get a little fat. It’s not like he was the pop star or anything

  29. Come on you have to give him a little credit. He has absolutely no skills and has made millions so let him get a little fat. It’s not like he was the pop star or anything

  30. sarah

    dammit, didn’t someone kill Randal yet?

    no wonder Federline had good things to say about Brittney. He needs all the press he can get right now – yikes.

    His new gal pal looks like she’s picking up the hillbilly reigns, walking around barefoot in public. Double ew.

  31. mark

    And he’s still reeling in cuties. Go Kev!

  32. jensauce

    holy shit he got fat as hell!

    on the bright side, he FINALLY fits into all of his clothes. he probably didn’t even need to buy anything new. but now instead of looking like a wigger, he just looks like the typical american fatass.

  33. kitty_kat

    Yup! He’s getting fat off of Britney’s money. Disgusting bastard. I don’t care what anyone says: that’s the only reason why he fought so hard to get custody of those boys. He makes me sick.

  34. scabby

    Man the harpoons!

  35. Me

    Anyone posting after Me sucks on K-Fed’s obese penis

  36. RaraAvis

    For god’s sake, Federline, stop dressing like a poser. You’re a fat old man with four kids. Buy some long pants and tie your shoes.

  37. mai-tai

    lmao. karma is a beast.

  38. britney's weave

    holy shit, man-cankles.

  39. Aaamber007

    Wasn’t that mystery girl on America’s Next Top Model?

  40. ummm...yeah

    At least the motherfucker takes care of his fuckin kids…umm…at least the motherfuckers nanny takes good care of the fuckin kids. …umm…unless he ate one.

  41. Lorac

    Bahahahaa.

  42. IND

    He was always gross before, but when did this happen?

  43. Kellie

    I guess Federline is after some new money. If she’s wise, she’ll run.

  44. twizlah

    Kevin Fatterline.

  45. face man

    lol, faces all day

  46. Siehna

    Whoa… I would like to see more of these kind of people balloon up like that. lols.

  47. Jenna

    I just don’t understand why people who are wealthy (whether they actually worked for it or not) let themselves go like this and don’t bother getting a personal trainer or a gym membership while i’m here wishing I had enough money to do so.

  48. friendlyfires

    Kevin Overfedandovertheline – the luckiest male divorcee on the frickin’ planet – he should be nailing Miley Cyrus or the other Olsen sister next – Madonna’s too smart to mess with that, her demon cobweb pussy would make Kevin Overfedandovertheline dehydrate and turn to a pile of dust and still no talent whatsoever except for impregnating lame brain rich women and skating off with custody and child support.
    Hell, he should eat as much pie and Starbucks as he pleases, ’til his cholesterol hits the roof of the Empire State Building. Then he can appear on Celebrity Biggest Loser with Baba Booey, Artie Lang, Camryn Manheim and Dan Ackroyd.

  49. friendlyfires

    Kevin Overfedandovertheline – the luckiest male divorcee on the frickin’ planet – he should be nailing Miley Cyrus or the other Olsen sister next – Madonna’s too smart to mess with that, her demon cobweb pussy would make Kevin Overfedandovertheline dehydrate and turn to a pile of dust and still no talent whatsoever except for impregnating lame brain rich women and skating off with custody and child support.
    Hell, he should eat as much pie and Starbucks as he pleases, ’til his cholesterol hits the roof of the Empire State Building. Then he can appear on Celebrity Biggest Loser with Baba Booey, Artie Lang, Camryn Manheim and Dan Ackroyd.

  50. Morgan

    Hahaha he totally looks like he just strapped on a fat suit and walked on out of the house… Do you think he can put both feet on the ground at the same time?

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